RZP: And I was like Baby Baby Baby

Posted on September 07, 2011

It’s a year later in ZoeLand. Rachel’s mildly pregnant, Rodger’s Bieber hair is even more Bieber, and Brad is the new Tay. How do we know she’s pregnant?

“Welcome to the world of pregnancy.”
“Baby, you know my pregnancy requirements.”
“I’m pregnant and tired.”
“I’m knocked up.”
“I’m super-pregnant.”

And that’s just in the FIRST FIVE MINUTES. She proceeds to remind us that she’s pregnant about 40 more times over the next hour. We don’t blame her for thinking people need reminding since she’s six months along and has a baby bump the size of a large pimple. As she sips her pregnancy breakfast of water with a splash of cranberry juice, she informs us that her company has expanded exponentially even if her stomach has not. There are four divisions now: Her styling business, her fashion design business, something called “Rachel Zoe Digital” and we kind of nodded off for a second when she mentioned the fourth. “Rachel Zoe Whining, Inc.” or something like that.

We also find out that she’s having a boy and she cried for a week when she found out because he won’t be going to couture shows with her in Paris. Moms, isn’t that just the way? Don’t you hate it when you have a child and he won’t go to the Paris  couture shows with you? One thing’s for sure, in defiance of all the science on the matter, Rachel’s gonna work like crazy to turn her baby boy gay. There’ll be a disco ball and a poster of Karl Lagerfeld over his crib for sure.

We also meet her new staff. Mandana, who looks just like Taylor except with black hair, is the Vice-President of the company, a role Rachel sums up as “Execubitch,” setting back feminism about 30 years in the process. Rachel uses the word “transitioning” in a sentence, which is just so very Rachel, isn’t it? She’s “transitioning from a stylist to a designer” and has a new collection coming out, which she will be showing to buyers and editors weeks before Fashion Week, because – did she mention? – she’s pregnant.

Then, Rachel discusses The Brad Issue. Apparently, Brad punched her in the face and stole all her jewelry before skipping out of town. Or maybe he burned her house down and slept with her husband. Whatever he did, it’s really bad and Rachel is really hurt by it and Rodger is really worried for her. Then we find out the horrible crime Brad committed is wanting to work, but not for her. People are supposed to take a job with Rachel and do it forever. And if they can’t hack it, they should leave town and work in a CVS somewhere but they should NEVER leave her employ and apply their skills to the same position elsewhere. You style for Rachel Zoe or you don’t style at all.

Brad’s upcoming Bravo show is curiously not mentioned. The fact that Brad hurt her, however, is mentioned about as much as her pregnancy is.

The Zoes have a photo shoot for Elle magazine and it’s supposed to be a “John and Yoko” theme, with “Yoko” in Givenchy couture and “John” in Tom Ford pajamas, proving that no one involved in this shoot has any idea who John and Yoko are. It’s just fashion shorthand for “take a picture of a couple in bed.” Rachel observes, “You can’t suck in your stomach with a baby.” Words of wisdom.

We meet Jeremiah who’s up for a styling assistant job. He’s cute and plays to the camera, which means he’s obviously got the job. Rodger pretends he’s Mr. Executive Man and Rachel laughs and cuts his balls off right in front of Jeremiah, who never once breaks eye contact with her. That queen knows which side his bread is buttered: the Rachel side.

Oh shut up. You try and come up with pithy phrases writing about this stuff.

Marisa, Director of Operations of Zoe Worldwide Ltd. is looking at houses with Rodger. A cute real estate agent takes them to a typical LA manse and Rodger complains endlessly because they’ll have to furnish the house. It’s all too much for him and he wants to go back to the office and play grownup again. He makes Marisa promise not to tell Rachel about the house because he knows her impractical side will love it. Marisa laughs and cuts Rodger’s balls off on camera by immediately going to Rachel and showing her pictures of the house. Rodger protests, Rachel threatens to take his Gold Card away, and the matter is settled.

Then: Disaster Strikes! A client has a film premiere in LA the same day Rachel is supposed to be in New York showing her collection. She quickly attempts to devise a plan that will allow her to be in two places at once. As she’s sketching diagrams of wormholes and working out complicated mathematical equations, Rodger takes her in his arms and tells her that the baby is all that matters. She looks doubtful and orders Marisa to build a time machine for her.

Rodger wants to interview more people for the styling assistant job because he’s a glutton for punishment and still hasn’t realized that Rachel’s collection of women and gay men working for her will never look at Rodger as anything but an affable sperm donor.  Ashley comes in to be interviewed. She kisses major ass. Rodger thinks she’s just like Rachel when she was that age. Rachel says the same thing. Rodger excitedly mentions that she looks like Rachel did at 24. He’s not too bright, is he? Suddenly, Rachel has doubts about her and hires Jeremiah instead, because it’s fairly unlikely that Rodger will attempt to sleep with him.

Rachel is shopping with her slaves to “get inspiration” for her line, i.e., looking for dresses to rip off. They head to a boutique, rip things off the racks, throw them together in the middle of the store, ooh and aah over how brilliant they all are, and then leave empty handed. Off camera, shop girls give the departing group the finger.

Later, Rachel is whining over her impossible schedule. “You have two babies,” says Marisa. “Your line is baby number one and number two is … your baby-baby.” Rachel looks confused but accepts that her baby comes in second to her fashion career.

Jeremiah shows up for his first day working at Zoe Widgets International, Inc. and is ordered to steam all the clothes, because “Rachel hates wrinkles on anything. It’s kind of like her condensation phobia.” This would be the point for any sane person to run screaming from this job, but Jeremiah’s cute and he gets to be on camera, so that’s good enough for him. Condensation phobias are a small price to pay for small-scale fame.

Rachel tries on the samples from her collection. “This is amazing,” says Rachel. “It is amazing,” agrees Jeremiah, quickly learning what his real job responsibilities are. The rest of the girls in the office roll their eyes behind his back and make “jerkoff”motions. Rachel continues her assessment of the collection and proves to the world that she’s moved on from “bananas.”

“It’s gorgeous.”
“It’s insane.”
“It’s not normal.”
“I’m not gonna lie, this really excites me.”

None of them will become her new catchphrase. Various assistants make notes.

Jeremiah describes his first day at Rachel Zoe International Consulting by over-using his adjectives: “It’s incredibly exciting, but also insanely terrifying.” Rachel asks him to drop everything and come to New York with her. “This is kind of a make or break thing for me,” says Rachel, a sentiment she has used to describe pretty much every single event in her life for the last 2 years. Will Rachel be able to be in both LA and New York at once? Will she drop her baby in front of a group of fashion editors? Will Jeremiah hurt Rachel’s feelings by having ideas and plans of his own? Stay tuned, bitches.
[Photo Credit: Bravotv.com]

    • Mariah J

      I’ve seen puddles deeper than her. “Wahh I’m having a boy and he won’t like fashion” “Wahhh Brad is too good for me” SHUT UP

      • Anonymous

        “I’ve seen puddles deeper than her.” LOL–that is brilliant. 

      • Anonymous

        “I’ve seen puddles deeper than her.” LOL–that is brilliant. 

      • Anonymous

        “I’ve seen puddles deeper than her.” LOL–that is brilliant. 

    • Anonymous

      I tried to be rational about it, but I can’t not love this show. That being said, I miss Brad.

    • http://www.kittenmasks.com/ kittenmasks

      Please tell me that the shop girls giving them the finger really happened.

    • Anonymous

      Why should I bother to watch the show when your recap is all the entertainment I need? {And the electricity is still too unpredictable on the flood-ravaged homefront.] Thanks for the much needed levity and… perspective… that I need on this busy Hump Day at IP Central, gentlemen!

    • http://twitter.com/susanpcollier Susan Collier

      Great review, boys!

    • MilaXX

      Haven’t seen this episode yet, but does anyone know if Taylor is still styling? This season she’s a judge on Hair Battle Spectacular. She looks happy, but the show is a bit low rent. Derek J is the head judge. Does D list reality tv pay that well?

      • http://profiles.google.com/eszubert Elizabeth Szubert

        She’s styling Mena Suvari.  Aside from that, I’m not really finding anything else.

      • shorty j

         aww, I love Hair Battle Spectacular. It’s so delightfully cracked-out.

        • MilaXX

          Oh don”t get me wrong, I never miss an episode, but seems like quite a down grade for her.

        • MilaXX

          Oh don”t get me wrong, I never miss an episode, but seems like quite a down grade for her.

        • MilaXX

          Oh don”t get me wrong, I never miss an episode, but seems like quite a down grade for her.

      • Susannah Perry

        She’s allegedly the head stylist for Shoe Privee, one of those shoe of the month websites.  I’ve been less than impressed with their monthly picks.

    • Anonymous

      I’m not sure I want to watch Rachel with out Brad. 

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for saving me from watching a series that cannot approach your review in wit.  I’ll just keep reading and skip the actual pain of watching.

    • Anonymous

      Perfect recap!
       
      Totally honest question here… are these people really this shallow and self absorbed? Please tell they are playing it up for the cameras.

      • Anonymous

        I would love to know the answer to this question, but sadly, I worked retail for a while and it seems that the fashion peeps are quite shallow.  I had to get out because someone actually took a picture of my nose so she could take it to her surgeon and his it duplicated on her face.  I also know a few people that have really made it in that world (as buyers) and their jet setting life is a bit sad and lonely.

    • Aiste Griciute

      I actually tried watching that couple of times, but couldn’t last longer than 20 minutes. 

    • Aiste Griciute

      I actually tried watching that couple of times, but couldn’t last longer than 20 minutes. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      Much as I hate to say it, I do have a teeny bit of sympathy on the whole “having a boy” thing.  When I was preggers the first time, I was so sick and miserable (I’m a spectacularly shitty pregnant woman who hasn’t gotten much better with practice:) that I SWORE I was only having one.  ONE.  And that one only because I couldn’t get out of it since Farscape uterine transplants haven’t yet been developed. 

      They told me I was having a boy.  No doubt, I have 30 pictures of the kid’s parts.  I cried for a WEEK STRAIGHT.  Because since I was only having one ever, I would never have my girl. 

      So I do understand the batshit crazy things that go through a pregnant woman’s mind, particularly about stuff like that.  However, sensible pregnant women know that they are most likely insane, and should not allow cameras to follow them around:)

      • Anonymous

        I like for the Farscapr reference!

      • Eclectic Mayhem

        Bless you Shannon for referencing Farscape!  *sits back and thinks about Ben Browder in his leather trousers for a moment*




        aaaand we’re back.

        I was bummed out for about twenty minutes when I found out my youngest – Corran Mayhem – was going to be a boy but I quickly came to the conclusion that I’m better off with boys as everything I know about US High School comes from the movies and I’d be absolutely no use to a girl with regards to cheerleading and prom etc (“WHAT ABOUT PROM?!”).

        I can confirm that pregnant women are, on the whole, insane and shouldn’t be under the microscope of reality tv.

        Eclectic

        • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

          Yeah, if I’d realized at the time that I was going to be having more kids I wouldn’t have cared… it was more the fact that I didn’t ever want to be pregnant again:)

      • Anonymous

        My cousin and his wife have 2 daughters.  When they found out they were pregnant again and that it was another girl, his wife cried.  She lied to their daughters that they were tears of joy, lol!  I did pregnant back flips when I found out I was pregnant (baby #2) with a girl.  I would have been catatonic with 2 boys!

      • Mary McClelland

        I was the same way. I completely, completely sympathize. But once they arrive, you just simply don’t care. Well, Rachel might but she is beyond not normal. 

        • Anonymous

          Exactly! This is why I, personally, am against finding out the sex of the baby before hand. I have two children and all odds pointed towards boys. There hadn’t been a girl born in my husband’s family in 90+ years on his father’s side. Our first child was the “expected” boy. Our second child we assumed would be a boy. Even when I had to have extra ultra sounds for medical reasons I insisted that the tech keep their mouth shut. Our second child is a girl. When she was born and the dr announced she was a “she” my husband said “Are you sure?” Then we had the pleasure of calling his grandmother to let her know there was a new girl in the family. Made that 90 year old woman’s year!

          As for Rachel, well, the kid will be wearing Lagerfeld diapers and McQueen booties – who knows how that will work out for her? I just hope the child stays happy and healthy!!

        • Anonymous

          Exactly! This is why I, personally, am against finding out the sex of the baby before hand. I have two children and all odds pointed towards boys. There hadn’t been a girl born in my husband’s family in 90+ years on his father’s side. Our first child was the “expected” boy. Our second child we assumed would be a boy. Even when I had to have extra ultra sounds for medical reasons I insisted that the tech keep their mouth shut. Our second child is a girl. When she was born and the dr announced she was a “she” my husband said “Are you sure?” Then we had the pleasure of calling his grandmother to let her know there was a new girl in the family. Made that 90 year old woman’s year!

          As for Rachel, well, the kid will be wearing Lagerfeld diapers and McQueen booties – who knows how that will work out for her? I just hope the child stays happy and healthy!!

        • Anonymous

          Exactly! This is why I, personally, am against finding out the sex of the baby before hand. I have two children and all odds pointed towards boys. There hadn’t been a girl born in my husband’s family in 90+ years on his father’s side. Our first child was the “expected” boy. Our second child we assumed would be a boy. Even when I had to have extra ultra sounds for medical reasons I insisted that the tech keep their mouth shut. Our second child is a girl. When she was born and the dr announced she was a “she” my husband said “Are you sure?” Then we had the pleasure of calling his grandmother to let her know there was a new girl in the family. Made that 90 year old woman’s year!

          As for Rachel, well, the kid will be wearing Lagerfeld diapers and McQueen booties – who knows how that will work out for her? I just hope the child stays happy and healthy!!

        • Anonymous

          Exactly! This is why I, personally, am against finding out the sex of the baby before hand. I have two children and all odds pointed towards boys. There hadn’t been a girl born in my husband’s family in 90+ years on his father’s side. Our first child was the “expected” boy. Our second child we assumed would be a boy. Even when I had to have extra ultra sounds for medical reasons I insisted that the tech keep their mouth shut. Our second child is a girl. When she was born and the dr announced she was a “she” my husband said “Are you sure?” Then we had the pleasure of calling his grandmother to let her know there was a new girl in the family. Made that 90 year old woman’s year!

          As for Rachel, well, the kid will be wearing Lagerfeld diapers and McQueen booties – who knows how that will work out for her? I just hope the child stays happy and healthy!!

          • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

            Funny, that’s exactly why I’m for it!  Any disappointment I might feel regarding gender I can deal with and get over before meeting my baby:)

            My mother had the same kind of reaction when she had my oldest sister.  They called to tell her ex-mother-in-law, and the woman insisted they were lying because she’d had all boys and wanted a girl so badly.  She wouldn’t believe them until she saw the baby for herself.

      • Anonymous

        I, on the other hand, was briefly just a little sad & filled with more than a little dread when my 2nd turned out to be a girl. My entire babysitting career had convinced me that boys are easier. Raising my own kids hasn’t really changed my mind. (Although, as with everything in life, girls have their upside.)

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      Much as I hate to say it, I do have a teeny bit of sympathy on the whole “having a boy” thing.  When I was preggers the first time, I was so sick and miserable (I’m a spectacularly shitty pregnant woman who hasn’t gotten much better with practice:) that I SWORE I was only having one.  ONE.  And that one only because I couldn’t get out of it since Farscape uterine transplants haven’t yet been developed. 

      They told me I was having a boy.  No doubt, I have 30 pictures of the kid’s parts.  I cried for a WEEK STRAIGHT.  Because since I was only having one ever, I would never have my girl. 

      So I do understand the batshit crazy things that go through a pregnant woman’s mind, particularly about stuff like that.  However, sensible pregnant women know that they are most likely insane, and should not allow cameras to follow them around:)

    • Anonymous

      I feel sorry for that child; he is going to grow up with a pair of shallow nitwits for parents.

      But I can’t wait to see the shock on Rachel’s face when the baby vomits on one of her Birkin bags.

      • Anonymous

        “Steubenville said: But I can’t wait to see the shock on Rachel’s face when the baby vomits on one of her Birkin bags.”

        Somehow, I don’t think the baby will ever be allowed to get close enough to Rachel or her Birkin bag, for that to ever happen. The nannies will see to that.

        –GothamTomato

      • Anonymous

        And not for nothing, but in about 30 years, that baby boy is going to write a book that makes Mommie Dearest look like Olivia Walton.

        –GothamTomato

        • Anonymous

          I hope I’m still aroound to read it! 

          Seriously, though, this poor kid is doomed.  It makes me sad.

        • Anonymous

          I hope I’m still aroound to read it! 

          Seriously, though, this poor kid is doomed.  It makes me sad.

    • Anonymous

      “Tlo said: Don’t you hate it when you have a child and he won’t go to the Paris  couture shows with you?”

      When I worked at a photo agency, we had a photographer who said about his impending baby, ‘If it doesn’t turn out to be photogenic, I don’t want it.’ Flash forward: It was one of those rare, seriously unattractive babies. 

      Karma.

      As for Brad, I wonder if watching last night’s episode made him regret joining in the attacking of Taylor with as much relish as he did last season. More karma.

      –GothamTomato

      • Mary McClelland

        I said: “If I don’t have a girl, I’m going to be so depressed.” and I never looked at boy clothes or chose boy names and then I had a boy.  and was so incredibly shocked that I actually didn’t care at all.  Karma.  Now I never want a girl because my son is so lovely :-) 

        • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

          Oh yeah, been there!

    • Anonymous

      Rachel Zoe should ask her own mother how great having a girl is.

    • Shawn Hill

      I just watch in hopes that one of Rodger’s tantrums will actually, ever make a difference, even for an hour.

    • Anonymous

      I wish you guys would turn these synopses into comic books graphic novels.
       This and the A-list as interpreted by TLo would be pure genius.

      “She looks doubtful and orders Marisa to build a time machine for her.”

      This deserves to be visually represented. For posterity’s sake.

    • http://twitter.com/VicksieDo Vickie Lord

      I find her to be THE shallowest person in Hollywood, with the exception of the Kardashians.  Thereby, I detest her and cannot watch this show.  I thought you guys liked her though, so glad to hear you see it for what it is :-)

    • mrspeel2

      I hate to be a party pooper and I’m not sure if watching PR has jaded me to this point but PLEASE tell me the never-ending, argumentative dialogue will end soon! If Rach and Rog keep this up, I”ll be SO over this watching program. Oh how I’d love to see some, you know, fashion and styling come back to the show. Am I asking too much?

      lobsterlen said: “… are these people really this shallow and self absorbed?” Apparently they are.
      MariahJ said: I’ve seen puddles deeper than her.” You’ve got that right.

      • Anonymous

        You want the never-ending argumentative dialogue to end soon?

        It will never end.  You have been warned.

        • Anonymous

          If the vapidness and argumentative dialogue ends, it would been an hour of silence.  Which could be a good thing.

        • mrspeel2

          Alas, I fear you’re right. A telltale sign was when RZ said she felt that if she didn’t have a child it would cause major problems in her marriage (or words to that effect). If a woman has a baby because she doesn’t want problems going forward, that tells me the marriage is on shaky ground and the angst will only get worse. I hope I’m wrong.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, Rachel said that if she told Rodger that she didn’t want a child that it would cause major problems in their marriage.  I muttered “Honey, you already have major problems in your marriage” Whether or not to have kids is one of the biggies and it really helps if the couple is on the same page.

    • Anonymous

      I’m glad you guys are still blogging this show.  I’ve grown to find it weirdly entertaining to see Rachel and Rodger try to do anything normal, like procreate.  Isn’t RZ coming out with a line of kids clothes?

      I thought the real beef about Brad isn’t that he left, but that he poached clients–Demi Moore and Cameron Diaz–and I have to say that isn’t cool.  

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        In that case, I think it depends on the exact client relationship.  If you bring in a client or you are the only to work with a specific client, I think it’s okay.

        • Anonymous

          I could see that.  This wasn’t the case here–we saw RZ style Demi for the Bazaar giraffe shoot and Cameron for the Oscars.  They were both her clients before Brad arrived and she’d kept working with them.  

          So, not the worst thing anyone’s ever done, but I get why she was upset.  Brad would have had no access to those women if he hadn’t worked for her.  I’m surprised though that she didn’t have some sort of non-compete contract–i.e. can’t work with current RZ clients for six months after departure.  That kind of thing happens in other areas.

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      TLo said:

      Rodger wants to interview more people for the styling assistant job because he’s a glutton for punishment and still hasn’t realized that Rachel’s collection of women and gay men working for her will never look at Rodger as anything but an affable sperm donor.

      I don’t watch the show, so I could be mistaken, but I very much got the impression from your recaps that Rodger was more of an insistent sperm donor than an affable one…!

    • Anonymous

      when this show started i could barely sit through it, now i kinda look forward to it, i think TLO has lots to do with it. thanks for decidinag to blog about it this year.

    • Anonymous

      I no longer watch this show, now that both Taylor and Brad are gone. Rachel Zoe has to be the second most annoying and vapid person in Hollywood.  Rodger is the first. Their endless bickering and shallowness are not amusing. I just want to order them both to read a book.

      But I will never give up the TLo recaps. 
      “There’ll be a disco ball and a poster of Karl Lagerfeld over his crib for sure.”
      The entire John and Yoko paragraph.
      “Rodger protests, Rachel threatens to take his gold card away, and the matter is settled.”
      “…sketching diagrams of wormholes and working out complicated mathematical equations…”
      “Off camera, shop girls give the departing group the finger.”

      Pure genius.

      Brad is getting his own Bravo show?  That I will watch.  And I have no problem with his having “stolen” clients from Rachel Zoe. Clients are not bracelets; if, after working with Brad, Demi or whoever decided she preferred working with him to working with the whining narcissist, the client goes with Brad. What’s he supposed to do–insist that she stay with Zoe?  He’s had a lot of success since leaving BananasLand, so he’s obviously talented.  I wish him well.

    • Anonymous

      I no longer watch this show, now that both Taylor and Brad are gone. Rachel Zoe has to be the second most annoying and vapid person in Hollywood.  Rodger is the first. Their endless bickering and shallowness are not amusing. I just want to order them both to read a book.

      But I will never give up the TLo recaps. 
      “There’ll be a disco ball and a poster of Karl Lagerfeld over his crib for sure.”
      The entire John and Yoko paragraph.
      “Rodger protests, Rachel threatens to take his gold card away, and the matter is settled.”
      “…sketching diagrams of wormholes and working out complicated mathematical equations…”
      “Off camera, shop girls give the departing group the finger.”

      Pure genius.

      Brad is getting his own Bravo show?  That I will watch.  And I have no problem with his having “stolen” clients from Rachel Zoe. Clients are not bracelets; if, after working with Brad, Demi or whoever decided she preferred working with him to working with the whining narcissist, the client goes with Brad. What’s he supposed to do–insist that she stay with Zoe?  He’s had a lot of success since leaving BananasLand, so he’s obviously talented.  I wish him well.

    • Anonymous

      “Brad had barely any experience when he started.” 
      WHEN YOU HIRED HIM YOU CROWED ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HE WORKED FOR VOGUE YOU LYING BITCH!

    • Anonymous

      “Brad had barely any experience when he started.” 
      WHEN YOU HIRED HIM YOU CROWED ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HE WORKED FOR VOGUE YOU LYING BITCH!

    • Anonymous

      Oh, pls do make them read!!  I cannot watch this drivel, but adore the TLo recaps!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_P2A3RYQVKJZKZNKS5W2ASCAKSI Lynne

      haha…. what a wonderful recap…. actually, it is more interesting than the real show!!!  I love it.  Thanks guys

    • Anonymous

      I miss Brad. He kept RZ fun and from seeming too neurotic. 

      That said, Jeremiah IS cute. I kept staring at his hair, wondering how he got it to do what it was doing.

    • glennethph

      I miss Brad.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

      OMG that it TOO funny!!  Great commentary.  LOVE EVERY WORD of it!!  It is so nauseating to hear her constant ME, ME, ME. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

      OMG that it TOO funny!!  Great commentary.  LOVE EVERY WORD of it!!  It is so nauseating to hear her constant ME, ME, ME. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

      OMG that it TOO funny!!  Great commentary.  LOVE EVERY WORD of it!!  It is so nauseating to hear her constant ME, ME, ME. 

    • Anonymous

      Ok, I was so not going to give this mega-biotch the time of day, but I may be forced to watch it thanks to this post.

    • Anonymous

      I could only take the first fifteen minutes of the show last night. I knew that the re-cap would be so much more interesting, entertaining and far wittier than the actual episode. In the spirit of superficiality, Rachel looks a lot healthier now that she’s with child and Roger looks, well ridiculous with that beard and moustache.

    • Mary McClelland

      Ok, this reacap was really funny and super good. I love your wit.  Much better than the actual show itself! I’m excited for Brad’s debut.  Clearly the real reason Rachel hates him is because everyone loves Brad and she’s afraid he’ll eclipse her.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017585103 Kanani Fong

      Oh, babies…. I hope you went and soaked in, like, a warm sudsy bath with a Sunshine-Yellow Zoeduck in your oversized Zoe-styled tub after you watched this!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017585103 Kanani Fong

      Oh, babies…. I hope you went and soaked in, like, a warm sudsy bath with a Sunshine-Yellow Zoeduck in your oversized Zoe-styled tub after you watched this!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017585103 Kanani Fong

      Oh, babies…. I hope you went and soaked in, like, a warm sudsy bath with a Sunshine-Yellow Zoeduck in your oversized Zoe-styled tub after you watched this!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017585103 Kanani Fong

      Oh, babies…. I hope you went and soaked in, like, a warm sudsy bath with a Sunshine-Yellow Zoeduck in your oversized Zoe-styled tub after you watched this!

    • Anonymous

      Rachel is shopping with her slaves to “get inspiration” for her line, i.e., looking for dresses to rip off.

      Now that you wrote it….I did notice that her cape/coats (particularly the plaid w the trim) look remarkably like Bonnie Cashin pieces.

    • Anonymous

      OK, NO WAY the actual episode could be any more entertaining than this recap! I’m gonna delete it without watching.

    • Anonymous

      no cable so no bravo so no watching of this show. For some reason, Rachel Zoe has always been extremely off-putting to me. But I’m a devoted bitter kitten and read the recaps. And I have to ask: what’s the deal, really, with this Rodger chap? Everything you’ve ever written here makes him seem….very….um….well, I guess I just wonder what Rachel & Rodger see in each other. Rodger seems to get his balls chopped off fairly regularly, and I wonder why he puts up with it, and why Rachel bothers. so what is it?

    • Anonymous

      For some inexplicable reason and against all the moral fibers of my being, I enjoy this show and Rachel. 

      Brad was a nice addition to the show, but my take on Brad’s departure was a bit different. I didn’t think she was so upset that he left to do his own thing and his own show but that he wasn’t honest about it with her.  If that’s true, I’d be upset too. 

      • http://twitter.com/7Valfi Fio

        I agree although your comment was 5 mos. ago. I liked this season very much because we get to see two births: her son and her fashion line that is now in major department stores. Plus, Brad’s show is a sad and quick train wreck.

    • http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/ Vic

      Without Brad, why watch the show? 

    • Anonymous

      You have successfully helped me entertain hateful thoughts about this woman by your recap.  1) who in hell cries because her baby won’t grow up to become a fucking accessory at her Paris fashion show?  2) what kind of cretin accepts the comment that her fashion line is first and her “baby-baby” (the real live human being baby) is to be her second priority?  I would fire that bitch on sight if she said anything like that to me.   I hope this boy grows up to be a beet farmer and moves to Utah.  FUCK HER. Great.  Now I have to go take a walk.  

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        Well, (having never seen the show)  I could kind of understand the first baby being her line and the babybaby being second.  Because she has to deal with the line before she gives birth and doesn’t have time anymore.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t wait to see how this boy is going to rebel against his parents when he’s sixteen.  I’m assuming it will involve buying clothes at Walmart.

    • Anonymous

      It was so painful to watch. But I did. And it paid off. Because I knew you commentary would make all that pain worthwhile. Thank you TLo for making comedy gold out of a dull, whiny little pair of nutjobs.
      I have to go now. Disaster strikes. My children have to get to school tomorrow and I have to go to work However will I cope?

    • Anonymous

      I can’t stand watching her but I can’t stop watching this show.  The scene with no makeup totally freaked me out.  Girl has had a bit too much sun or tanning bed, whichever..

    • Anonymous

      I’ve only seen this show once a couple of years ago but I LOVED this recap. I conclude that Rodger will always have his balls handed to him simply because he spells it “Rodger” and not “Roger.” That’s his karma. 

    • http://twitter.com/thebestjasmine Jasmine

      After watching a bunch of the old shows on Bravo last week/this weekend, and then this one tonight, it is so clear that Brad was the real star of the show.  In watching the old ones I would just fast forward anytime Rodger was on screen, because he is terrible and makes me want to smack him every time, and it’s clear that he and Rachel got mad that Brad was a bigger star and more entertaining than them.

      But I’m still watching the show, if only to read these awesome recaps, and to see all of the behind the scenes work for the Oscars, because she really did do an amazing job with Anne Hathaway that night.

    • http://toodles.yelp.com AWStevens

      I will be so happy when this vacuous wench’s show is canceled…

    • http://toodles.yelp.com AWStevens

      I DOUBLE DARE TLO TO START REVIEWING ON THIS WEBSITE: “Big Sexy” which is on TLC!

    • http://www.facebook.com/ehormell Eric Hormell

      Yeah, so apparently Brad just suddenly told Rachel he was retiring from the industry so he could spend more quality time with his dog. That certainly seems plausible.

    • Anonymous

      “proving that no one involved in this shoot has any idea who John and Yoko are”

      Ahh, you guys can always make me laugh!

    • http://twitter.com/m3lly78 Melissa Williams

      My god she’s a vacuous twit. Id much rather read the TLo review than watch the real thing!

    • Dani Ausen

      I know I’m late to the party, but I just read this and did quite a bit of chortling. I love you guys.