We’re not gonna do it. We refuse, kittens. We just can’t spend another Friday morning getting all ragey at the judges and/or producers.
Rage, after all, indicates a high level of engagement; an interest in the outcome. Rage means the producers have done their jobs. Well, you’ve finally done it, you guys. You’ve managed to take the two people who are probably the most engaged with this show and left them bored with your silliness and completely uninterested in the final outcome.
You could see where this was going in the first ten minutes. In fact, we called it on twitter last night. “You know she’s going to dye the muslin and win this freaking challenge.” Are we prophets? No, the show has become THAT predictable.
And yes, we’re just gonna throw this out there. It’s no secret that the judges and the producers have a somewhat inexplicable need to focus on Anya and grade her on a curve. When Tim rather sheepishly announced a second look with no explanation or further instructions (because usually there’s some sort of twist on the idea, instead of “Make another one.”), the thought did occur that whoever’s in love with her in the production office just couldn’t bear to see her with just a half-muslin look on the runway. In other words, the twist was practically tailor-made to dig Anya out of the hole she was in.
One compliment before we get back to complaining: Olivia Palermo was an astonishingly good judge with an understanding of fashion design that we wouldn’t have thought to attribute to her and a rather refined sense of how to give a critique. Her points were actually better than the ridiculousness that was spewing from the other judges, who spewed embarrassing “critiques” like, “I really like that print,” and “It’s not sexy.”
We joke about Anya being a manipulative beauty queen and we rail against the idea that the producers’ influence on the judges gets distressingly more and more obvious with each season, but in all fairness, we don’t think either had that much impact on her win (and the ongoing manner in which they make excuses for her). It’s simply this: people in fashion are naturally going to respond well to beautiful people. Kors, Klum and Garcia can’t help themselves; they’re always going to fall all over the pretty ones.
And in a “sell the winning garment” challenge, they’re always going to pick the one that’s easiest to manufacture and requires the least amount of cutting and pattern pieces.
Plus it helped that it was on trend.
Although that back doesn’t look so hot. Then again, 8 seasons of the judges railing against (and often auf’ing) designers for poor execution mysteriously vanishes when Anya fixes her cow eyes and dazzling smile on them.
Enh. It’s fine. We all know Viktor had the best looks by far last night but they were going to be too expensive to produce. Fine. Give it to the pretty girl. You can find the (remarkably unchanged) Piperlime version of this look here, along with the retail version of Bert’s look – and don’t even get us started on that whole thing. “Bert we’re going to sell yours too but you didn’t win.”
Heidi, in a show of support for downtrodden pretty girls everywhere, wore this look on her AOL page today. Man, do these judges have a hardon for her or what?
It’s all right. Credit where it’s due: this is pretty good for eleven bucks, although the fit on the pants and the execution of the top is pretty bad.
Say hello to one of the finalists, kittens. There’s not a chance in hell they’ll ever send her home unless she sets one of her models on fire. She’s beautiful and charming and she has a strong (if exceedingly narrow) point of view. And that’s fine. Honestly. But the way the judges fall all over her sometimes is ridiculous. Talk about over-praising.
Anthony had two major problems this week.
The first is that he clearly had no idea what seventies fashion was all about.
When he started talking about Woodstock and hippies we knew he was in big trouble. Although why he and Josh seemed so clueless makes no sense to us, since they were given HP dossiers on HP their HP computers HP.
The skirt is badly made and the silhouette had nothing of the ’70s about it.
The fabrics weren’t a bad choice, but they didn’t really go together and the whole look was drab and unflattering.
The second look was closer to the mark, but had its own issues. For one, it was too literal.
And that skirt wasn’t as full as it could have been. A model shouldn’t have trouble taking wide steps in a ’70s-esque maxi-skirt.
The other issue was that this looked thrown together. A very basic floor-length tunic with the only thing giving it any shape being that belt.
Like Anya’s win, we don’t like the decision here, but at least there’s some precedent for it: don’t ever bore the judges. There were worse pieces – FAR worse pieces – on that runway, but they weren’t boring in the judges’ eyes.
But we said he had two major problems last night. Here’s the second one: he’s not an oxygen-sucking narcissistic bitch. It’s Wendy Pepper over Austin Scarlett or Santino over Nick all over again. Nice, sweet contestants who make something boring are always going to get auf’d in favor of keeping the asshole who made something offensively bad. Such is the way of Project Runway.
Always, always remember, kittens: This isn’t fashion. This is a game show. It always has been.