Miss Universe 2011 National Costumes, Part Two

Posted on September 13, 2011

Second verse, same as the first, bitches.

 

Miss Aruba

“In Aruba, we have ROBOT SHOWGIRLS!”

Miss Botswana

“Miss Botswana knows what to do with people who don’t vote for her. Oh, yes. Miss Botswana beats them with her big Botswanan shovel.”

Miss Brazil

“Those other bitches can work the bird looks as much as they want. You all know that when it comes to walking in 6-inch heels with a feather in your ass, Brazil is your girl.”

Miss British Virgin Islands

“Don’t ask me. They told me to wear this silly thing.”

Miss Cayman Islands

“GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE, BITCHES! MISS CAYMAN IS HERE!”

Miss Costa Rica

“Worship me, you insignificant ants. WORSHIP. ME.”

Miss Croatia

“Vote for Miss Croatia. I don’t want to work in the candy factory any more.”

Miss Czech Republic

“Czech women come with handles!”

Miss Dominican Republic

“I brought the fierce, bitches. You know you want to vote for me.”

Miss Egypt

“I don’t think so, Dominican Republic.”

Miss Great Britain

“QUEEN OF CHAVS!!!!”

Miss Guam

“Come to Guam! Our fish have tits!”

Miss Hungary

“Purrrrr, Batman. Miss Hungary feels YUMMY.”

Miss Japan

“Vote for Japan or I start killing people in the front row. This will be your last warning.”

Miss Kazakhstan

“You want Kazakh women for wife, yes? We dust ceiling for you.”

Miss Lebanon

“Alakazam! I am the winner!”

Miss Mauritius

“Come to Mauritius! Shower curtain capital OF THE WORLD!”

Miss Mexico

“Come to *thpt* Mexico! I — I can’t — *thpt* … feathers … *thpt* in my mouth…*thpt* Can’t see…”

Miss Netherlands

“Take a cruise to the Netherlands! There’s some pot in the crown if you want it.”

Miss Panama

“YOU get the fuck off the stage, Cayman Islands! MISS PANAMA IS IN THE HOUSE!”

Miss Peru

“Vote for Peru! We used to sacrifice virgins, but now we turn them into beauty queens!”

Miss Philippines

“Quick! Vote for me! My skirt is ON FIRE!”

Miss Puerto Rico

“Gaze into my Puerto Rican tentacles and be mesmerized!”

Miss Russia

“FUCK Kazakhstan! RUSSIA grows the best brides in the world!”

Miss St. Lucia

“Oh, okay. Here’s my little bird costume. Yeah, I know. ”

Miss Tanzania

“OUR ARMY OF TANZANIAN CYBORG WOMEN IS COMING, WORLD. PREPARE.”

Miss Ukraine

“Come to Ukraine. Our women have balls.”

[Photo Credit: Patrick Prather/Miss Universe]

    • http://twitter.com/jmurph3 Jaclyn Murphy

      Poor Miss Croatia looks like she wandered in off the street from a completely different event.

      • Sobaika Mirza

        Yes, the slutty candy striper convention. Look, I pulled a Michael Kors!

    • http://twitter.com/Verena_Hafner Verena Hafner

      I am very happy one of these women gets to represent the UNIVERSE.


      blog.verenahafner.com

      • Anonymous

        Makes you feel like the Martians would like to object…

      • Anonymous

        Makes you feel like the Martians would like to object…

    • Anonymous

      Queen of Chavs! Love it!

    • Anonymous

      “Czech women come with handles!” – FTW…at least in the laugh-out-loud-and-scare-the-cat competition.

      Japan brought the fierce – that thing was beautiful.

      I want to know what the people who create these things smoke/ingest just prior to the meeting.

      • http://twitter.com/NC_Meg Megan

        I started wondering the same thing around Miss Mauritius. Why the shower curtain…what is…just what?

    • Anonymous

      Around “Our fish have tits!” I just lost it and couldn’t get it back. “I dust ceiling for you.” “Shower curtain capital OF THE WORLD!” I’m dying here.

      • Anonymous

        Our fish have tits made me collapse……

    • Anonymous

      OMG, I’m crying from laughing so hard! Miss Mexico had me rolling!

    • Anonymous

      Why is Ivanka Trump Miss Croatia?

      • Anonymous

        Why is Cher several of them?

    • Anonymous

      “Come to Ukraine. Our women have balls.” Okay, that’s got to be my favorite.

      Are there any birds left alive in the world after this pageant? And why does Miss Great Britain look like she is on her way to a randy quince fiesta? Miss Tanzania has got to be her country’s lethal weapon, literally. This stuff is mind boggling. How can women do this to themselves?

    • Margot Brose

      I bet there were soooo many feathers to clean up off of that stage…

    • Kate Pearce

      Ha!!! Queen of chavs! How many poor birds sacrificed their lives for this??

    • Anonymous

      I honestly did not know this existed. I don’t follow pageants, and find them a bit unsettling, but I had no idea there was a drag portion of the competition.

      And I’m a little confused by Miss Japan and Miss Lebanon wearing their actual respective national costumes.

      • BuffaloBarbara

        And I’m a little confused by Miss Japan and Miss Lebanon wearing their actual respective national costumes.

        I know, right?  Where would they get that idea?

        • Anonymous

          Sheer craziness. They must have missed a memo.

          I have to admit, though, I really want to know what was going through the mind of whoever made Miss Tanzania’s costume. “Hmm. Tanzania’s national costume… Tanzania’s national cost– whatever, let’s dress her up like a cybernetic rhino.”

          • Anonymous

            I’m just mesmerized by Miss Tanzania-I didn’t know that Fembots were one of the country’s ethnic groups.

            • Anonymous

              I think Miss Tanzania is awesome. She looks like a supervillain from a DC comic book.

              I want her to fight Miss Japan. That would be epic!

            • Juan Gray

              actually you will notice that miss tanzania is that female archer in Gladiator who gets cut in half by a war chariot.

      • BuffaloBarbara

        And I’m a little confused by Miss Japan and Miss Lebanon wearing their actual respective national costumes.

        I know, right?  Where would they get that idea?

    • Anonymous

      I have to admit Japan, Dominican Republic and Egypt reeeeallly brought the fierce

      • Anonymous

        Egypt definitely has that “We are the effing cradle of civilization, bitches. We invented beer and paper. This competition couldn’t even happen without us” vibe going on.

    • Anonymous

      Miss Japan’s outfit is actually gorgeous and fierce.  But yes, she’ll probably cut you if you don’t agree.

      • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

        I’d like to see a cage match between her and Miss Tanzania!

        • BuffaloBarbara

          No contest–I wouldn’t want to accidentally run into Miss Tanzania’s costume, but Miss Japan can bring the aggression to the table.

          (And that was a really beautiful costume, actually, wasn’t it?  What on earth was it doing out there with the rest of the Tacky Brigade?)

        • BuffaloBarbara

          No contest–I wouldn’t want to accidentally run into Miss Tanzania’s costume, but Miss Japan can bring the aggression to the table.

          (And that was a really beautiful costume, actually, wasn’t it?  What on earth was it doing out there with the rest of the Tacky Brigade?)

      • Anonymous

        I’m getting Lucy Liu’s monologue (as O-Ren Ishi) from Kill Bill Vol. 1. “If any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW’S THE TIME!”

      • Anonymous

        I’m getting Lucy Liu’s monologue (as O-Ren Ishi) from Kill Bill Vol. 1. “If any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW’S THE TIME!”

    • http://profiles.google.com/rociosaurio Rocío Vázquez

      They should make a project runway challenge of this.

      • Anonymous

        Please reality show gods, please make that happen.

        • BuffaloBarbara

          I’d sacrifice a bird to them, but there aren’t any left.

        • BuffaloBarbara

          I’d sacrifice a bird to them, but there aren’t any left.

      • Anonymous

        Please reality show gods, please make that happen.

      • Anonymous

        that’s like the best idea EVER.

    • Andreas Plaianu

      I so wanna see a bitchfight between Miss Dominican Republic and Miss Egypt!

    • Anonymous

      I don’t understand Miss Croatia, Miss Czech, or Miss Puerto Rico…

    • http://twitter.com/stardust462 Elizabeth O’Malley

      “You want Kazakh women for wife, yes? We dust ceiling for you.”

      I’m dying T Lo – DYING. I must say, I look forward to your commentary on this event more than the costumes. Bravo.

      • http://www.katymcdermott.com KatyMightHave

        SO fabulous! TLo are geniuses – and very busy geniuses, to judge from today’s post tally. Thanks from a grateful minion!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ailsa-Martin/644946901 Ailsa Martin

      The only reason I can think of why Miss Great Britain’s is in the slightest bit “British” is that… well, I don’t know if it showed in the US but there was a quite popular program here this year called “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” where basically 16 year old girls got married and lived out their wedded bliss in caravans with teenage boys whose careers were like, “bare knuckle fighting”. And that is exactly what all their wedding dresses looked like.

      Thinking about it, she should just have traded off the Britishest thing that happened this year and gone in a bedazzled version of Kate Middleton’s wedding dress, right?

      • Lori

        Or as the coach they rode in.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8337746 Allison Fisseler

        That is the most amazing/ridiculous show on television.

        And yes, I think the world was deprived the opportunity to see Miss Great Britain walk in as a drag Kate Middleton.

      • Eclectic Mayhem

        I suspect that, in the Venn Diagram of British “Culture”, the Gypsy subset falls within the Chav set.  I’m going to fully accept your reasoning though because without it I haven’t a clue why that’s a British costume!

        NB to TLo – I hate to tell you, because I know you love it but, a real Chav costume would have more Burberry…

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elaine-Lang/100000366510311 Elaine Lang

          To be really chavvy, she could have come out in a Burberry track suit, with about 5 stone of gold(tone) chains, a Croyden facelift, and a 2 litre of Strongbow cider in her hand.   Bonus points for not looking “bovvered,” as that would be “well out of order.”

          “Roight.  Well, I’m here as miss Bri’ain, you’ll be votin’ for me, as Miss Well Fit, innint?   No?  Let me take a cricket bat to your windscreen and then we’ll see, won’t we?”

      • Anonymous

        My thoughts exactly – a few more layers and she could have rivaled one of the Gypsy Wedding girls (it did show in the states).  As it is, does anyone know just what she was supposed to be representing?  That one confuses me (well, they all do really).

      • Anonymous

        (Hiding in shame) I have actually watched that program when they aired it here in the States….OMG, what indescribable wedding and bridesmaid gowns….

    • Anne Beichner

      I actually really love Miss Japan’s outfit. She looks fierce instead of foolish like most of them (MEXICO!) 

    • Anonymous

      My dog is wondering why I’m crying and laughing.

    • Judy_J

      Miss Kazakhstan reminds me of Barbara Streisand in the “His Love Makes Me Beautiful” number in “Funny Girl”.  And I feel sorry for Miss Ukraine.  The only costume they could afford was a t-shirt and last year’s Christmas ornaments sewn onto a table runner.

      • http://twitter.com/TMamBo Therese Bohn

        I was Just About to Write That!!!  My thoughts exactly! I was going to say “Is Miss Kazakhstan about to sing “His Love Makes Me Beautiful”? And where’s the pillow underneath?
        Love TLo’s Feather duster comment on same.

        Miss U.K. — Kate Middleton as a Peacock?

    • Alyssa Stanfield

      I would love to watch Miss Cayman Islands and Miss Panama try to walk through a doorway together…

    • Alyssa Stanfield

      I would love to watch Miss Cayman Islands and Miss Panama try to walk through a doorway together…

      • suzq

        I’m just trying to figure out how they stood around back stage together waiting to go on.  And when they saw each other in their get-ups, how did they keep from bursting into peals of laughter?

        • Anonymous

          Or clucking, shrieking like a macaw, screaming like a screech owl…Sounds like a jungle back stage.

    • Anonymous

      “You want Kazakh women for wife, yes? We dust ceiling for you.”

      Cue inappropriate laughter at work.

      I smurfing LOVE the Miss Universe posts! 

      I do love Miss Japan though. She looks amazing.

    • Anonymous

      “You want Kazakh women for wife, yes? We dust ceiling for you.”

      Cue inappropriate laughter at work.

      I smurfing LOVE the Miss Universe posts! 

      I do love Miss Japan though. She looks amazing.

      • Anonymous

        i agree about miss japan. as for inappropriate laughter at work i am so guilty. 

      • Anonymous

        “smurf” as a verb … hmmm …

        • Anonymous

          Technically it is used as an adverb here… and is one of my attempts at not saying “fuck” as often. :)

    • Anonymous

      I wonder how it is that this season of Project Runway fails to put out anything even 1% as awesome as some of these costume-y ensembles. I know it takes a very long time to put together some of these looks and that PR doesn’t “do” costumes. However, it could be argued that PR doesn’t really “do” fashion either as it is more of a reality show that features clothes-making. Over-the-top multiple-day costume design challenges should be encouraged throughout the PR season instead of speed-fashion.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder how it is that this season of Project Runway fails to put out anything even 1% as awesome as some of these costume-y ensembles. I know it takes a very long time to put together some of these looks and that PR doesn’t “do” costumes. However, it could be argued that PR doesn’t really “do” fashion either as it is more of a reality show that features clothes-making. Over-the-top multiple-day costume design challenges should be encouraged throughout the PR season instead of speed-fashion.

    • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

      Laughed so hard I think I stopped breathing.  Some of those women are fierce, but some are just effing hilarious.  Poor Miss Croatia was just sad.  

    • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

      Laughed so hard I think I stopped breathing.  Some of those women are fierce, but some are just effing hilarious.  Poor Miss Croatia was just sad.  

    • Lattis

      Can they have hydraulics on these things? Because what I’d like to see are the bird costumes fanning out like Zoidburg’s crest.

      TLo thanks for these laughs. <3

    • Lattis

      Can they have hydraulics on these things? Because what I’d like to see are the bird costumes fanning out like Zoidburg’s crest.

      TLo thanks for these laughs. <3

    • Anonymous

      ROTFL!!!  Please, please, please tell me there will be a part 3…

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NMLK23QK6C7NMLMVVYA5POXKJY WhiteMage

      someone stole lebanon’s outfit, so she had to raid the local medieval costume shop.

    • Terry Weyna

      You gentlemen have outdone yourselves with these captions.  I think I laughed harder with each succeeding one, until I got to Miss Mexico and fell off my chair in hilarity and couldn’t see the computer screen any more.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663121863 Donna DeVore Metler

      Let’s see…Bird, Warrior Princess, bride and totally confused…any other categories I’ve missed?

      And I agree that a Project Runway Pageant costume challenge would be awesome-maybe Miss Universe is where the idea for the “Outfit of choice” costume stuff that a lot of the “Toddlers& Tiaras” pageants have comes from?

    • Anonymous

      haha, I thought Ms. Kazakhstan was HILARIOUS, or maybe it was because I read it as if she had Borat’s accent.

    • Anonymous

      JESUS CHRIST TANZANIA, what the fuck!  I think I played a video game in which Miss Tanzania and Miss Japan fought to a gorey death.  It was AWESOME.
      I think Miss Egypt is lovely.
      And seriously T and Lo?  This is like my favorite time of year.  I look forward to your Miss Universe post like it’s Christmas morn’.

    • Anonymous

      Miss Russia – BUSINESS on the top; PARTY on the bottom

    • Anonymous

      Miss Costa Rica FTW.  Miss Tanzania scares me.

    • Anonymous

      Ah, much more FIERCE this time around!  I particularly love Japan…it’s tasteful, relevant to her culture, and she BROUGHT THAT SHIT.

    • Anonymous

      This is totally like Halloween.  Young women who want an excuse to dress mostly naked and leave the house.  The ladies are the same.  “National costume?  But that covers me up and isn’t sexy.  How will I ever land a modeling job/rich husband in that?”

      However, I hope this never goes away so I can read TLo’s comments about it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.horseman Charlotte Horseman

      Yay!  More!  More!  So Wacky!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000827735685 Elke Vanderhallen

      Miss Tanzania reminds me of one of the golden saints in The Elder Scrolls IV – Shivering Isles. (reference: http://www.giantbomb.com/golden-saint/92-3088/all-images/52-321942/goldensaintsi/51-966149/ )

    • Anonymous

      Some of these women look like they get the joke.  Others are just tragic.  Miss Tanzania stands out in a special way.  With so many birds there would have to be a rhinoceros.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1002675081 Stacey Noel

      Holy Sh*t. Miss Panama is an ungodly explosion of EVERYTHING. How do those bitches fit in their dressing rooms?

      Miss Russia or Kazakhstan for the win. Although, I hope there wasn’t a ceiling fan anywhere near Miss Kazakhstan. “Doily Style” must have replaced the fashion of micro-mini skirts and killer platforms since I’ve been in the area. Oh, no… that’s almost exactly what she’s wearing UNDER the doily.

    • http://twitter.com/shinobi42 Shinobi

      Miss Tanzania looks like a character in a video game.  I would complain that her armor was ill fitting and did not cover vital areas that require protection.

    • Anonymous

      Ok, I lost it on the Mexican feather woman.  You guys are gonna get me fired for goofing off LOL.

    • Anonymous

      I am speechless….

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1002675081 Stacey Noel

      Miss Panama will also be appearing in this year’s elementary school Thanksgiving play. It’s a ploy to get the Dads’ attention.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catherine-Rhodes/602850414 Catherine Rhodes

      WHAT THE F**K? Beauty pageants are tragically dumb.

    • Anonymous

      How many birds had to die to make this spectacle happen? 

    • Anonymous

      How many birds had to die to make this spectacle happen? 

    • http://twitter.com/HotMessHousWife Sammi M

      There are some really fabulous drag queen outfits in this photoset!

    • Lori

      Puerto Rico’s is so lame. They should have let Yara Sofia design it.

    • http://twitter.com/susanpcollier Susan Collier

      I see that Miss Great Britian just wore her bridesmaid’s gown from her BFF’s traveller wedding.

    • bookish

      Poor Miss Ukraine. :( I wish the Miss Universe pageant happened once a month!

    • http://profiles.google.com/dkbbmail Dorrene BrownButterfield

      I haven’t laughed this hard in ages….thank you TLo!!!!! “…shower curtain capital of the world.”  What ARE some of those folks thinking when they create those outfits??????!!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      If you fed a bunch of over-the-top gay designers handfuls of party drugs, gave them each a bale of feathers, a bedazzler, access to the Project Runway  workroom and told them to design costumes for Ru Paul’s Drag Race,  you would come up with results like this.

    • Anonymous

      Thank you so much, TLo.  I think Miss Universe Costume Commentary may be my favorite feature.  Too bad it only happens once a year.

    • Anonymous

      OMG poor miss Ukraine! She’s wearing a home-made Michael’s craft project.

      • Anonymous

        My exact thoughts, as my much later comment reflects.

      • Anonymous

        My exact thoughts, as my much later comment reflects.

    • Rand Ortega

      You bitches are ridiculous! Can’t stop crying! Our Fish have tits!  has to be the funniest thing I’ve read all year! & I read you guys every day!  Pls write a book, TLo! Or create a sitcom about the crazy adventures of a fashion blogging couple, jetting around the world making fun of the pretentiously fabulous. Or just keep me in stitches w/ your blog. 

    • Anonymous

      PANAMA!  So intense. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd

      I don’t understand Miss Netherlands. She has a gold spangly dress with bright blue rick-rack straps and red velvet forearms and a sailing ship on her head. It’s like it was designed and sewn by a 2nd grader.

    • http://profiles.google.com/laura.jane.ogorman Laura O’Gorman

      WHAT THE HELL GOES ON IN TANZANIA?

      • Anonymous

        Seriously.  Everyone gave her a wide berth for the rest of the competition, I’m sure.

    • Anonymous

      Didn’t last year’s Miss Lebanon have a distinct Ren Faire style, too?  I don’t get the cultural significance.  Does Beruit have a thriving Society for Creative Anachronism branch?  Is it a reference to the Crusades?  Why would they want to celebrate that?  

    • http://isara.livejournal.com/ Synnamin

      On the WERQ train, Egypt is totally my favorite. I would love to wear that dress. Though she does remind me an awful lot of the Sorceress from He-Man….

    • Anonymous

      This could not have come at a better time.  Having such a rough day at work.  Thank you so much for the laugh!  These are always my favorite articles of the year (well, except for Musical Mondays…)

      • Anonymous

        Ice skating costume reviews are also always brilliant.

    • http://profiles.google.com/phyllis.craine Phyllis Craine

      I can’t be the only one who found this, Anya in her national costume when she was in Miss Universe
      http://movies.ndtv.com/images/PhotoGallery/MUnational1/9.jpg

      • http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

        OMG!  Anya is Sailor Mercury! 

        ….sorry ;)

        • Anonymous

          and dang if her boobage isn’t giving Heidi’s a serious run for their money.  Seeing all these crazy-ass costumes makes me wonder, seriously, about the personalities of women who not only WANT to appear on television in them, but actively work VERY VERY HARD to wear them on tv. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

        Helloooooooooooo, TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
        So is this the costume she helped “design”? Which made her realize she had a knack for “designing”? 

        • Anonymous

          Indeed. I think we’ve learned the origin of her fondness for plunging necklines…

        • Anonymous

          Indeed. I think we’ve learned the origin of her fondness for plunging necklines…

      • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

        Helloooooooooooo, TITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
        So is this the costume she helped “design”? Which made her realize she had a knack for “designing”? 

      • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

        did she have those removed after the competition?

      • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

        did she have those removed after the competition?

    • Anonymous

      The eastern European women are positively staid compared to the ladies of the Caribbean & Central America.  They must have a Master’s program in bedazzling there.  I have to admit that Miss Costa Rica looks pretty killer.

      • Anonymous

        *regrets getting MA in English* *considers MA in bedazzling*

    • Anonymous

      OMG. These are some serious whackadoodle costumes. Who has the biggest bird costume? And the one with the blue tentacles looks like it belongs on Star Trek. I would really love to know the thought process behind these pieces. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_C65IT4K6RYN4TWRMFJOI3VUDAI Olechka Milashka

      OMG, I am Ukrainian, and I so love “Come to Ukraine. Our women have balls.”!!!  Touche!

    • Anonymous

      I’m so proud to be a woman now.
      but the real question is–WHO WON????

      • Anonymous

        I found out that Miss Panama won this national dress competition….I had to know!!

        • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

          yay.

        • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

          yay.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PFPESDH4EDCW3UEDVNWWSHB4XQ Michaela T.

      I feel that as a a half Czech, half Ukrainian woman, I should have some insights into the costume of my two countries.

      I don’t. Wtf????

      • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

        You mean they are not the top exporters of wicker baskets and Christmas ornaments, respectively?

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PFPESDH4EDCW3UEDVNWWSHB4XQ Michaela T.

          Not that I know of… I keep staring at the Czech one and trying to come up with explanations, but even after a good night’s sleep, it’s still just… fucking bizzare.

    • Anonymous

      You have so made my day!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3KCDEX4FOTCFHZP6WLKSOOKUVM Danielle

      Please tell me that Anya was in this competition when she was Miss Trinidad & Tobago…and that there are pictures of her in one of these costumes!

      • Anonymous

        Yep–someone posted a link above. 

    • http://www.twitter.com/allforusophia AllForUSophia

      Please tell me there’s a part III. I want to see our Miss Greece!

    • Anonymous

      Queen of Chavs!! Somewhere Katy Price is plotting her revenge……

    • muzan-e

      I feel like I ought to point out that Miss Japan is rocking the kimono and its Lady Snowblood pose with platform boots.

      Just freakin’ crown her already!  *g*

    • http://stitchingincircles.etsy.com Tina

      HOLY SHIT. European women wear princess dresses while the women of Latin and South America go full on show girl. Yet Tanzania wins with KNEE SPIKES.

      I am cracking up at my desk like a crazy person at these screencaps. Miss Panama FTW (I know I know….. too late).

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      Is Miss Croatia carrying a switchplate cover? Is taht the only heart-shaped prop she could find?

    • Anonymous

      Ha! heeeee!

      So much fun to scroll down and try to guess where the hell each bitch was from! Those island nation girls were tricky.

      Oh, well… I got Miss George Washington, Miss Mexico (with her life-size sugar candy Day of the Dead skull!), Peru, Jamaica. And, of course, Drag Queen Spain!

      Oh, man. Brazil really let down her Carnival Country, didn’t she?

      • Anonymous

        PS — Miss Botswana is so darling. 
        Japan and Egypt so fierce! Seriously.

        There’s gotta be a part III. Iceland and Germany always bring the tacky!

    • Anonymous

      I got down to Miss Tanzania, and burst out, “Holy shit!”

    • http://twitter.com/RobertSanchez36 Robert Sanchez

      Love them all, and your comments. Boy, I used to adore watching pageants when I was a kid, and the parade of costumes was always a highlight.

    • http://twitter.com/RobertSanchez36 Robert Sanchez

      Love them all, and your comments. Boy, I used to adore watching pageants when I was a kid, and the parade of costumes was always a highlight.

    • Anonymous

      Miss Tanzania is scaring the crap out of me! A friend of mine is half-Tanzanian. I’ll never again make fun of him and his army of female battlebots.

      What’s with all the birds from the Caribbean? It’s not as if there aren’t parrots and peacocks and other exotic fowl in the rest of the world.

    • Anonymous

      Miss Tanzania is scaring the crap out of me! A friend of mine is half-Tanzanian. I’ll never again make fun of him and his army of female battlebots.

      What’s with all the birds from the Caribbean? It’s not as if there aren’t parrots and peacocks and other exotic fowl in the rest of the world.

    • Anonymous

      Generally speaking, the smaller the country, the bigger the outfit.

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      Ms Hungary looks more like Puss ‘n’ Boots than Catwoman… does Hungary have a big Panto tradition?!

    • margaret meyers

      You guys are so funny.  It’s one thing to be funny a couple of times, but you were funny every time, for like 55 pictures. 
      Of course, your material was pretty choice. Still, 3 snaps for a job well done (I’ve almost entirely forgotten that 46 million Americans live below the poverty level).

    • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

      where is miss trinidad & tobago? the new one, i mean.

      ps. love panama, just love panama. & tanzania cum borg {in all senses of the word}. what a wonderful world if people wore modified versions of these things to work every day. maybe not wonderful. something.

      • Anonymous

        I saw it here at http://im.rediff.com/getahead/2011/sep/12costume5.jpg

        Wow Anya’s is down right modest in comparision

        • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

          oh thats so glorious.
          why isnt it here?

        • Anonymous

          Wow!  Kind of loving the red feathers.  

    • Anonymous

      My Bird Flu shot finally came in handy.

    • Anonymous

      My Bird Flu shot finally came in handy.

    • MilaXX

      Ms. Costa Rico looks like she could crack walnuts with those thighs, but Tanzania is bringing some Cyber Woman realness.

    • Anonymous

      Love this time of year!  I freaked out this weekend when I saw the previews for the pageant.  Hubby and son couldn’t figure out why my daughter and I were so excited until we said…  “T-LO”!!!!   Forget the pageant, (sorry Miss Aruba), go for  the recaps!  I think it would be a better world if UN representatives were also forced to wear their national costumes.

       (Let’s hope this holds me until the Victoria’s Secret Holiday show…)

    • Anonymous

      “Queen of Chavs” & “our fish have tits” HAHAHA love you guys SO MUCH! That Tanzanian Cyborg is one scary bitch. She won’t even bother to assimilate you she’ll skewer you. Kabobs anyone?

    • http://twitter.com/npollard1 Nicola Pollard

      Awwww

    • http://twitter.com/npollard1 Nicola Pollard

      Computer spazzed … Awwwww I thought u guys would have shown (and made fun of) Trinidad & Tobago’s costume especially since you could have made a little side joke about Anya designing it :P 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7NWTNOLT56Q4CJTGSXSRH3BYOE Sharon

      Oh, Tlo, you never fail to make my day a little brighter haha!

      Also, because of your post opener, I’ve now got the song “Henry the VIII” stuck in my head. I’ll probably be singing it for the next 173 days straight because I can never get that song out of my mind once I get started. Thanks! :)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7NWTNOLT56Q4CJTGSXSRH3BYOE Sharon

      Oh, Tlo, you never fail to make my day a little brighter haha!

      Also, because of your post opener, I’ve now got the song “Henry the VIII” stuck in my head. I’ll probably be singing it for the next 173 days straight because I can never get that song out of my mind once I get started. Thanks! :)

    • Anonymous

      Queen of Chavs about killed me.

      The WTF awards for this round go to Miss Czech Republic and Miss Tanzania.

      Oh, who am I kidding, they’re all WTF winners.

      Miss Panama’s costume is really impressive. In a bat-shit crazy, hallucinatory way.

    • Anonymous

      Queen of Chavs about killed me.

      The WTF awards for this round go to Miss Czech Republic and Miss Tanzania.

      Oh, who am I kidding, they’re all WTF winners.

      Miss Panama’s costume is really impressive. In a bat-shit crazy, hallucinatory way.

    • Anonymous

      OMG who designs these things?  What is the purpose of these?  Holy. Hell.  HOLYHELLHOLYHELLHOLYHELL.

    • Anonymous

      OMG who designs these things?  What is the purpose of these?  Holy. Hell.  HOLYHELLHOLYHELLHOLYHELL.

      • Anonymous

        I wonder if the test here is how poised a contestant can look while wearing a bat-crazy, hard to manage costume.

    • Anonymous

      Perhaps this has already been addressed – but are there any pictures of Anya as a Miss Univ. Contestant?  Like one in a bird costume for example?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll
        • Anonymous

          TY TY TY TY.  I also found a picture but it’s not nearly as good a shot as the one you found.  xo

        • Anonymous

          Now that’s a whole lot of look!  (LIke the rest of them are in any way tasteful.)

        • Anonymous

          Oh my!! It’s the Little Mermaid that ate Mamma Mia. 

    • Anonymous

      Perhaps this has already been addressed – but are there any pictures of Anya as a Miss Univ. Contestant?  Like one in a bird costume for example?

    • BuffaloBarbara

      Yeah, I loved Miss Botswana.  She’s so cute!

    • Anonymous

      I’m totally inspired! I want to go make a whole bunch of drag queen costumes now.

    • Gail Lannum

      I love you guys.  I look forward to this all year long!!

    • BuffaloBarbara

      You know, part of me thinks–what a shame, there are some beautiful actual national costumes out there.

      Then the rest of me realizes… that would mean doing without my yearly dose of Ultimate Tacky.  So bring on the feathers, bitches!

    • irielle

      “Our fish have tits” made me lose it too, and my family on my Dad’s side is _from_ Guam. Just for the record, she’s supposed to be the mermaid Sirena from the island legend.

      • Anonymous

        Pondering how to work “Our fish have tits!” into my daily conversation.

      • Anonymous

        Pondering how to work “Our fish have tits!” into my daily conversation.

    • Anonymous

      Just when I thought it could not get better.  This is the best ever!  I can see an army of queens furiously debating these outfits.  More feathahs dahling!  More glitter!  We need volume!  The color isn’t bright enough!  Did I say we needed more feathahs?!   This is so RuPaul Drag Race finale!  I love it!  Actually, it reminds me of Cher!  Miss Hungary and Miss Tanzaniam tie for most absurd.  Ms Croatia and ms Czech Republic tie for most random.  Miss Ukraine takes the crown for least creative!  Balls, is that the best you can do?  DId she have any idea where she was going?  

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I have just one thing to say to Miss Costa Rica –

      Yes, Mistress!

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I have just one thing to say to Miss Costa Rica –

      Yes, Mistress!

    • Anonymous
      • http://naturallyeducational.com/ CandaceApril
        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000020870811 Joe Murphy

          Oh. My. God. ::dies laughing::
          I _was_ wondering, and I thought it would be funny because she’d be wearing one of the outrageous costumes, but instead it’s funny because it’s one of the ugly, homemade-looking (but nevertheless ginormous) ones.

          I truly give her props for gamely trying to carry it off, though.

          Thanks to both you guys for digging those up!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1326120071 Gaby Ripoll

      No Miss Colombia? Hers was sombrero vueltiao inspired. (I actually covet the costume if you rip the feathers off. I could work that shit as separates.)

    • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

       How is this not a drag show?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513945580 Megan Patterson

      Oh man, so much to worship! I can’t decide!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513945580 Megan Patterson

      Oh man, so much to worship! I can’t decide!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513945580 Megan Patterson

      Oh man, so much to worship! I can’t decide!

    • http://twitter.com/alfietomi Alfie Tomi

      Miss Tanzania  = Raja in the Queens in Space challenge.

    • Anonymous

      Oh my goodness, and here I was feeling badly for Miss Romania & Miss Turks &  Caicos because they had to assemble their costumes from a picked-over costume shop, when some unimaginable disaster fated Miss Ukraine to have to construct hers from what she could get on the very last day of a Micheal’s [craft store] going-out-of-business sale.

      I’ve got to say, one Miss Universe contest has inspiration for at least three years of  Ziegfeld Follies revival.

    • Anonymous

      Miss Tanzania looks like something out of World of Warcraft.  

      Seriously.  

      I don’t know whether that’s amazing or horrifying.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

      snaps for japan, the only one who represented her country in a tasteful, beautiful, and fierce way.  The rest are some REALLY GOOD drag queens.  (wait, what?  they don’t have penises?  but their outfits…)

    • Anonymous

      OMG one of the funniest things I’ve seen in ages.

    • Anonymous

      I think I need to vote for Miss Tanzania, just because of how “Metropolis” her costume is.

    • Anonymous

      If you think about it, all these countries did was go to the BIG neighborhood garage sale held by: Cher, Charo, Lady Gaga, Liberace’s Estate, Bob Mackie and Jim Henson’s Muppet Studios to pull this off.

    • Anonymous

      I love Miss Japan, perhaps because my Unitarian Jihad name is “The Katana of Reasonable Discourse”.  Or maybe it is because that is a happening take on the kimono.

      • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

        “Unitarian Jihad name”?? I had to look that up. Too funny!

    • Anonymous

      I almost didn’t open this–I thought I was done with the national costume sh*t, but I am so glad i did!

      I’m hysterical!!

    • Anonymous

      For more photos of individual costumes, go to the following link and enter the country and event.
      http://missuniverse.exposuremanager.com/scripts/expman.pl?dir=galleries/12/19&cancel_search=1There were some excellent photos of Miss Japan’s killer kimono.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jin-Ong/584903214 Jin Ong

      This would make a great PR challenge.

    • Anonymous

      For the love of all that is good and holy can we make designing the Miss USA-Universe National Costume a Project Runway challenge in a year where they have talented people competing, because that could be fun!

    • Lisa

      “You want Kazakh women for wife, yes? We dust ceiling for you.”  DYING!  TLo was made to make fun of these costumes!

    • Anonymous

      Is Miss Great Britain’s skirt made of pee pads? 

    • Anonymous

      OH, I love you guys.  sigh.

    • http://twitter.com/BeantownMrs Praggya R. Barretto

      The “creators” of these outfits are singlehandedly keeping the polyester feather manufacturers in business. Bless you bird ladies!

    • Anonymous

      This is fantastic, I had no idea this went on….thank you TLO!

    • Helen C

      I should be happy that Miss China is not wearing anything embarrassing enough to be featured here. 

    • Anonymous

      O.M.G. The last two were just too much!  Still laughing!

    • Anonymous

      The ballsy ukranian woman ftw. That line had me choking.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1077090078 Megan Sullivan

      “Our fish have tits!” I had never thought of mermaids like that before.

    • Anonymous

      All I can think about now is how gorgeous Peruvians and Croatians are, on average. Like, any place can toss out one Miss Universe-level beauty per year, but having visited both countries, let me tell you: EVERYONE. IS GORGEOUS. Going there is a struggle between drooling and feeling shabby.

    • Anonymous

      You must have had such fun thinking up all the comments.  I do wonder what got left on the cutting room floor…..they must have been pretty good, too!  Thank you TLo for both these great, funny posts!

    • kjthorp

      I thought that Miss Philippines was showing her hooha in a picture– maybe that happened earlier and I missed it??

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3QK7O6OXEX3AYERJWQUXBSVCTY Candy Kane

      I’m pretty sure Miss Tanzania’s outfit used to be Scorpina from the Power Rangers (original ones).

    • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

      Seriously, Ukraine?  You could be a little dramatic and do them up as bloody scrotum. Try and put some fear in the judges’ hearts.

      • http://twitter.com/evergreen_g G and G

        Supsup is a funny last name in the Philippines…the word in Tagalog means “to sip” or “to suck”.

    • Toto Maya

      Hot damn Egypt that is awesome.

    • http://twitter.com/LilahMorgann Sarah Rivas

      Wow, now that is really impressive. They managed to disgrace every culture with pride.

    • http://nobeatenpath.com Forrestblogging

      The Japan costume was actually quite stunning – in a good way. The others just stunned – not in a good way.

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. It’s a fabulous work of art. 

        • Anonymous

          Agreed!  Although I hate to say anything that would indicate taking this stupid pageant seriously, the Japanese costume is stunning.

        • Anonymous

          Agreed!  Although I hate to say anything that would indicate taking this stupid pageant seriously, the Japanese costume is stunning.

    • Anonymous

      Oh . . . my . . . They kind of look like drag queens. Was RuPaul a judge or something this year?

    • Anonymous

      Still laughing. Brilliant! Before I read Queen of Chavs, what came to mind was Traveler Bridesmaid.

    • Anonymous

      Being Lebanese, what our fairest bimbo of our land is wearing IS our national dress.  The old fairy tales of princesses wearing pointy hats with veils is called a “Tantour” and is the traditional headgear.  She deserved points for probably being the only authentic one of the whole bunch but the dress should have been Phoenician Purple. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/melantha.chimera Eileen Duffy

         Actually, the princess headdresses were called hennins.  Women often plucked out the hairs that showed outside the headdress, and the veils were wired. :)

        • http://profiles.google.com/melantha.chimera Eileen Duffy

           In Europe, anyway. :)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OYWH5NAGE3TS2MWXRAVBSWBSZA Brittany

      All I can think of is ‘The Hunger Games’. Whoever designed these should be signed up for the costume designer on that film, stat.

    • jeneria

      I want to see Japan and Ireland battle it out for the title.

    • Jessica Rowe

      lol Queen of Chavs.  Actually, so true.

    • Scott Hester-Johnson

      I am typing through tearing eyes. “Queen of chavs”! Jesus H. Is that Stacey Slater?

    • Tina S

      All I know is that my great-grandmother never broke out the purple pirate outfit when I was around. (My great-grandfather, who was from Croatia, died before I was born, but I don’t recall seeing him in a candy slut outfit in any pictures.)

    • http://twitter.com/megelizah Megan Howard

      miss tanzania, robot unicorn

    • http://twitter.com/megelizah Megan Howard

      miss tanzania, robot unicorn

    • http://twitter.com/megelizah Megan Howard

      miss tanzania, robot unicorn

    • Anonymous

      I’m Brazilian, but I just can’t sign off on ass feathers. Miss Dominican Republic looks the most fabulous.
      Oh, and Miss Philippines for the downright ugliest costume. WTF? Bride on fire??

      • Anonymous

        Haha. Ugly indeed — but uglier than Mexico or The Netherlands? It’s a tough call when there’s just SO MUCH ug.

    • Anonymous

      My husband and I had so much fun trying to guess what countries they were all from. Your comments made us laugh SO hard, TLo!

    • Anonymous

      Japan looks freaking amazing. I wonder though why the bird theme is the go to for so many of them?

    • Anonymous

      Japan looks freaking amazing. I wonder though why the bird theme is the go to for so many of them?

    • Anonymous

      Thank you, TLo. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    • Amanda in Austin

      Sweet Jeebus on a breadstick.  They ALL look like frickin’ drag queens. What delicious ridiculousness.

    • Now I am The Bee

      Oh my.  Laughing with tears. . Thanks for the Hump-Day giggles. 

    • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

      That is the most confusing bunch of costumes I have EVER seen!

    • Anonymous

      My wife left this page up before she went to work. I have to say that the captions are the funniest thing that I’ve read in a long time. No wonder why she is fan of this website! :)

    • Anonymous

      My wife left this page up before she went to work. I have to say that the captions are the funniest thing that I’ve read in a long time. No wonder why she is fan of this website! :)

    • Anonymous

      I miss dirndls.

    • http://twitter.com/AileenBartels Aileen Bartels

      Is Miss Great Britain’s costume a patchwork of Liberty of London fabric?

    • Anonymous

      I think we should all dress like this at one point in our lives. And then ride the subway.

    • http://rockiinboxxe.blogspot.com/ KUR COL DE DAAB E NUBA

      Miss Egypt just giving it to them! WORK IT GOOD SUGHTSTA!  WORK! 

    • Patricia Biswanger

      Most of these were clearly inspired by the Mummers.

      But Miss Tanzania is too weird even for Mummers.

    • Kike Martinez

      The National costume on Miss Universe, accross the years is more like a symbolic representation of a cultural and iconic aspect/piece of the country itself. Could u imagine presenting EVERY YEAR the same traditional ensemble? Even Spain (that has too many traditional ensembles to be count) ran out of innovation.. several years ago!! BTW Panamá ensemble, reflects our traditional Huaca http://bit.ly/p2UtYi  …  How accurate do u think it is?

    • http://twitter.com/evergreen_g G and G

      Miss Philippines was actually wearing a traditional top in the style women wore during the Spanish colonial period in that country. The bottom is definitely all kinds of crazy, the shape is also traditional but I don’t know what her gays were thinking buying cheap dollar store Christmas tinsel to adorn that skirt.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know what’s worse,, the costumes or the comments.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1391796778 Szeharlaigne Ching Yen Fung

      The only reason I continued watching was because of the captions. Best decision ever.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001586126280 Jealyn Duyag

      the girls are so very beautiful they are very attractive in their costume  and i’d like shamcey supsup PROUD TO BE FILIPINA

    • Alexis Norry Valkyren

      Most of them look silly, others like some World of Warcraft epic gear, but I really like Peru!

    • Jam y

      I thought that Japan’s outfit was totally predictable

    • http://www.thehomestyledirectory.com/a/ sabinad

      Miss Hungary?! Miss Kazakhstan?!! Borat was right all along!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000467389758 Ashley Peleo

      very elegant., national costume amazinG.