In AND Out at the Boardwalk Empire Premiere

Posted on September 15, 2011

Rather than do a typical “In or Out” post, let’s do a compare-and-contrast on the subject matter of how to dress for the season premiere of your highly praised cable television series, shall we?


Kelly Macdonald attends the “Boardwalk Empire” Season 2 premiere in New York City.

The word that springs to mind – and it’s a word we should use more often – is “lovely.” She just looks… lovely, doesn’t she? Polished and pretty and put together. No yoga or “running errands” hair; no ill-advised beartrap shoes or (thankfully) Silly Putty pumps; no ostentatious jewelry or garish makeup;no tan-in-a-can; a dress that’s neither too tight or too big on her. Just a great look, top to bottom. Pretty much perfect.

Then there’s the other way to show up:

Paz de la Huerta attends the “Boardwalk Empire” Season 2 premiere in New York City.

Paz, honey. We just don’t get it. The dress is fine. We’re more than over lingerie-inspired gowns, but it certainly suits you. It’s the detailing where it all goes wrong. We’re a bit confused by the ombre effect on your skin. Your forehead is about ten shades darker than your forearms. The front of your hair looks fine, but the back looks like you slept on it. And then there’s the makeup. This is the part we don’t get.  As gays, we can always get behind a gal who wants to rock the slutty drag queen look, so long as it suits her – and honey, it suits you. But that’s not drag queen makeup. That’s meth addict makeup. We’re more convinced than ever that you just dump a bunch of products on a pillow and slam your face into it. Certainly there’s some makeup queen who can do you up in the uber-glam manner you deserve, which means:

a) No visible lip liner, EVER.

b) Putting eyeliner at more than just the corners of your eyes, so you don’t look cross-eyed.

c) Contouring your face so it looks recognizably human.

d) Adding a little color to your face. Other than just brown, that is.

Look into it, sweetie. We’re fully supportive of the persona you’ve cultivated; you know, “dazed and slutty.” But we think you can polish it up just a little bit without losing any of the endearing qualities that make you so very you. The gays are ready to embrace you and make you an icon darling, but not if you’re gonna wear shitty makeup all the time.
[Photo Credit: Wireimage]

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