Red Carpet Rundown: CBS, CW & Showtime Party

Posted on August 05, 2011

Darlings, it was the TCA Party for CBS, The CW and Showtime held at The Pagoda in Beverly Hills, California. We don’t really know what that means, but we don’t care so long as we’ve got dresses to rip. Hit it, D-listers:

A.J. Cook

Cute. A little plain, but it’s simple and breezey-chic. We question the shoe/clutch pairing, but otherwise it’s good.

AnnaLynne McCord

Looks like a total smacked ass. A freaking trucker cap. What is this, 2002? Go home.

Barrett Foa

Perhaps a bit precious, but we can’t deny he looks cute and put together.

Camilla Luddington

Who wants to be the first to tell Camilla that she left the house without putting a dress on?

Claire Danes in Reed Krakoff

Jesus CHRIST, Claire Danes! What the hell happened to you? Was it the Latisse?

Emmy Rossum in Etro

We so don’t want to praise her because her facial expression and posture tell us that she’s quite busy praising herself at the moment, but it’s a really cute, sharp look.

Jessica Stroup

They look a little like yoga pants, but this is a good way to dress up pants for a casual event like this. She looks really put together.

Jillian Michaels

Personally, we always thought she was crazier than a shithouse rat, but the girl looks pretty hot to death here. Not fashion-forward; just a sexy, classic look that suits her.

Kat Dennings in Diane von Furstenberg

Sweetie, we hate to tell you this, but this is not your:

1) Color

2) Dress

3) Day.

Kat Graham

It’s interesting, we’ll give it that. But it’s too heavy-looking and does nothing for her figure. Plus, we’re not sure the big Wilma Flintstone topknot is helping the look.

Kristen Bell in Versus

It’s a decent look. We’re not entirely on board with the boob flaps, though.

Lisa Kudrow in Donna Ricco

Sweetie, no. We love you too much to allow this to happen. Go home and try again. Quick, before a photographer sees you.

Mary Lynn Rajskub

It’s not a pool party, honey.

Morena Baccarin in BCBGMAXAZRIA

Morena’s not taking any chances with her new Showtime gig. After the spectacular flop known as V, she’s busting out (pun intended) the short, the tight, and the low-cut. It’s an okay look. That weird high-waisted peplum takes away her waist.

Natascha McElhone

We like summer maxi-dresses, but we would have advised against this one. That’s kind of an ugly print and too busy for standing in front of a wall of corporate logos.

Oliver Hudson

Go home, you lazy shit.

Renee Felice Smith

Really cute dress that suits her perfectly. Absolutely wrong to pair it with boots and sheer stockings. We seriously don’t know how you can leave the house not knowing that.

Shanola Hampton

Enh. Standard shape; not in love with the color; too shiny.

Swoosie Kurtz

DAMN. Swoozie’s all “Get the HELL out of my way, Helen Mirren!” Love it. Bold, bright, and fierce.

Trevor Donovan

He’s dreamy and his outfit is cute, but those pants are waaay too low. Also, his tie clip is too high.

[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images]

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

  • http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd

    the high tie clip must be a thing now. saw it last week too.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

      Nothing wrong with the tie clip placement

  • Anonymous

    Swoosie is totally trying to throw down with Helen Queenoffuckinfantastica Mirren! That is a battle royale I would not miss — bring it, ladies! Love them both!

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    Thank God someone else realizes how batshit crazy Jillian Michaels is!

    • http://profiles.google.com/scaponigro Sarah Caponigro

      I love batshit crazy Jillian Michaels.

  • Amie Curie

    Quick, tell Camilla Luddington (who?) that she looks too much like Bristol Palin, and she needs to fix her hair stat.

    And why oh why does the maxi dress have sisterwife sleeves? That’s just cruel.

    I miss Claire Danes’ red hair. And old face.

    • http://profiles.google.com/apaqdesigns Angel Harris

      And why oh why does the maxi dress have sisterwife sleeves? That’s just cruel.

      Inorite? I was sure “Big Love” had been canceled.

    • Allyson Wells

      Just an FYI… Camilla plays Kate in the “William & Kate” movie on Lifetime. She definitely resembles Bristol here more than the princess, though! 

    • http://profiles.google.com/eden.hemming e h

      We have Mennonites around here who wouldn’t be caught dead in that dress.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catherine-Rhodes/602850414 Catherine Rhodes

      So right about the sisterwife sleeves. When you rock the maxis you need to show arms or cleavage.

    • Anonymous

      BTW.. what’s the story with Claire Dane’s beautiful old face?  Where did it go & why?

  • Anonymous

    who would name a kid Shanola??

    • Anonymous

      In order to distinguish from the other sibling, Shineola.

    • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

      Someone who doesn’t know shit?  (harharhar, lucking Shanola isn’t a geezer out of a Damon Runyon story, like me.)

    • http://profiles.google.com/apaqdesigns Angel Harris

      Who would name themselves miagain?

      • Anonymous

        geez miagain looks like a screen name for ME AGAIN  – and what would be wrong with that?

        • Anonymous

          well thank you ASK26… I had to switch to a new name because DISQUS said someone else had my old one… boo hoo… so bye bye mimi (ohsoeasy to type) and hello miagain!!

        • http://profiles.google.com/apaqdesigns Angel Harris

          There’s nothing wrong with naming yourself miagain, just like there’s nothing wrong with having the name Shanola. It’s not as if she had anything to do with the name her parents gave her.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BCFNN4YIMD4YWHQJF3ODXPD3ZM Kelli Phillips

            People are referring to the old saying “s/he doesn’t know shit from Shineola,” in case you’re wondering.

        • http://profiles.google.com/apaqdesigns Angel Harris

          There’s nothing wrong with naming yourself miagain, just like there’s nothing wrong with having the name Shanola. It’s not as if she had anything to do with the name her parents gave her.

    • Anonymous

      So they could tell her from her sister Shayte. (I know–so obv)

  • Anonymous

    Were these people all attending the same event? Because you sure can’t tell it from the range of outfits. 

  • http://twitter.com/rmcgrudiva RL McGruder

    >>We so don’t want to praise her because her facial expression and posture tell us that she’s quite busy praising herself<<

    I ALWAYS think that about Emmy Rossum.  The smuggest face in Hollywood, or New York, or Shitastic Heights, or wherever she is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elaine-Lang/100000366510311 Elaine Lang

    “Go home, you lazy shit”

    LOL!   Yes, honey, and fix momma a drink so it will be ready when she gets there….

  • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

    I forgive Emmy for looking self-satisfied because she’s on “Shameless” and allows herself to look like she hasn’t slept more than three hours a night since she was 12 and never heard of conditioner on that show.  And she’s a surprisingly good actress.

    Swoosie looks fantastic.  Not just for her age but any age. 

    • Anonymous

      I agree times 1000.  I used to be pretty down on Emmy Rossum for always looking so smug (and for the shittastic Phantom of the Opera movie), but damned if I don’t love her on Shameless.

      And I bow down before Swoozie for looking hot, being a hell of an actress, and for being talented enough that she can be taken seriously in spite of her name.

  • Anonymous

    Who ARE these people? Obviously I’ve been in TV limbo too long–recognized Lisa and Swoozie only. And actually, I liked Lisa’s dress, go figure.

    • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

      It’s very, very David’s Bridal. I’m pretty sure I saw that exact same dress a dozen times at 3 different weddings this summer.

  • Maria Figueroa

    “Go home you lazy shit” Good God, I love you guys.

  • Anonymous

    What a weird array of looks. From torn jeans and trucker hats to shiny cocktail dresses. WTF? Well ripped, T Lo. Well ripped, indeed.

  • http://twitter.com/SarahBeth81 SarahBeth

    OMG. Thank you for a giggle this morning. I really need to learn that drinking water at work and reading TLo equals water dribbling down my chin so it doesn’t go onto the computer screen. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LCM5POTSHO74MUOQO6IAV4YUBE Jessica

    Holy Hell I love you two.
    Seriously.

  • Anonymous

    My my my, how far the mighty have fallen. I’m looking at you Claire Danes. Train wreck! And just look how teeny tiny Swoozie is. Fierce little thing. 

  • Anonymous

    Morena Baccarin is quite beautiful, but this photo makes her figure and proportions look really, really weird. It’s a cute dress, but she could’ve done better.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, Trevor Donovan’s pants and tie clip gave me the best laugh I’ve ever had over an outfit that I really like. Hilarious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/c.d.barney Chrissy Barney

    Dear God, why did AnnaLynne McCord decide it was a good idea to show up to an event with other actresses in cocktail dresses looking like white trash? A trucker cap, way too bleached and shredded jeans, and way too much information about her black underwear makes a look that is as far from classy and appropriate as Charlie Sheen. Natasha McElhone is way to gorgeous to look like a refugee from the mid-90s.

  • Anonymous

    Superb ripping, boyz, with lots of spit-takes as a result. Especially love “Go home, you lazy shit!”  My thoughts exactly, but so succinctly stated!

    OK. I recognize about five of these people. I might have recognized the once-divine Swoosie Kurtz had she not plastic-surgeried her face into something unrecognizable. And quite awful. A little work to correct the inevitable sagging? Fine. Making your whole face look as shiny and tight as a balloon–a very THIN balloon–and erasing all the features that made you you?  Tragic. There’s not a dress in the world that can make up for that.

    What is with the eyes on the person named Kat Graham?  So made up that she looks cross-eyed. The person named Kat Dennings also has too much eye makeup.  Is it the cat reference?  Are these people actually felines?

    The person named AnnaLynne McCord obviously rushed right over from the garage where she was changing tires on her car.

    The person named Renee Felice Smith belted her shower curtain. The black boots and stockings defy explanation.

    I like AJ Cook’s dress (too bad about the shoes, though) and Barrett Foa looks cute. Although I have no clue who they are.

    Overall, this is a tragic bunch.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    Swoosie looks fantastic all around!! Everyone else looks like they grabbed something off the TJ Maxx Clearance Rack… in 1998.

  • Shawn Hill

    Swoosie or Morena, I can’t decide. Morena by a hair because I like the symmetry with all the pleating. Kat Dennings seems stylist free, and tha’ts not a good thing.

  • Anonymous

    Oliver Hudson, you lazy shit, go to MY home right now!  That outfit must come off immediately, here, let me help you…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catherine-Rhodes/602850414 Catherine Rhodes

    What is that piece of blue tape on the carpet? So tacky.

    • MilaXX

      It’s the mark for the actors to stand and pose. Sadly most of this lot missed it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6PUVFQ7YCZZFZRIER6BEJ4HVYE Amye

    I don’t see anything wrong with Trevor’s pant length. 

    Lisa can slide right on through, because everyone’s gasping at Claire & Swoozie.  Which is why Lisa put no effort into her outfit.

    • Anonymous

      TLo’s comment was about the length of the pantlegs, but the low rise of the waist.

      • Anonymous

        Crap, I mean WASN’T about the length of the pantleg.

  • Tamara Hogan

    Because I am old, I don’t recognize most of these people. OTOH, most of the people whose names I recognize are physically unrecognizable – as in, WTF did Swoosie Kurtz do to her face?! Oh, honey.

    Jessica Stroup (whoever she is) FTW.

  • Anonymous

    do not like Emmy’s color combination.  
    Lisa Kudrow looks very pretty but something is off with the dress

  • Anonymous

    Swoosie Kurtz gets an A. The rest are blah to terrible.

  • Mariah J

    Who are these people and why do they look so bad?
    Excepting only Emmy Rossum

  • MilaXX

    A.J. Cook – cute, this isn’t a super fancy RC so this works.AnnaLynne McCord – Seriously? This isn’t even mall hanging out cute.Barrett Foa – It’s nice, but he looks a bit stiff like a Ken doll.
    Camilla Luddington – Yuck, wrinkled nightgown, swap the shows for house slippers, add a few rollers and a cig and she’s all set.
    Claire Danes – What happened here? She looks crazy all up in the eyes, the hairs a mess and the dress makes her torso look abnormally long.Emmy Rossum – After seeing Claire’s look she has a right to look smug.Jessica Stroup – Nice, causal look.
    Jillian Michaels – Hate her, but she looks good.
    Kat Dennings – I think the color would work on a difference dress, but this is too matronly and dumpy for her.Kat Graham – She looks like an extra from a production of the King and I.
    Kristen Bell – I’ve seen this dress with shoulder straps. I think it makes the tit flaps work better.
    Lisa Kudrow – Yeesh! Dumpy, frumpy and wrinkled. Take it home and burn it.Mary Lynn Rajskub – That truly  does look like a bathing suit cover up.Morena Baccarin – Work it girl!Natascha McElhone – I love a maxi, but that print is fug.
    Oliver Hudson – A little too casual. Put on a pair of fitted jeans and this could work.
    Renee Felice Smith – Dress is okay, boot, bag and pantyhose are all wrong.
    Shanola Hampton – Generic
    Swoosie Kurtz – Showing the young’uns how it’s done.Trevor Donovan – The look has potential, but it’s too sloppy.

  • Musings From Manhattan Zilbers

    Oh Kat D…everything is wrong- the hair, the makeup, the shape of the dress. And Kat G, enough with the alien eyebrows! Lisa Kudrow’s dress looks like a bridesmaid dress. I wore one just like it from J.Crew . T. Lo, did you really just compliment that sheet that Renee is wearing? Yuck! 

  • Anonymous

    How come so many of these people missed the tape mark?  Isn’t that covered in Acting 101?

    • Anonymous

      I know, right?! Maybe missing the mark is the new, hip, “ironic” celebrity thing to do. Or maybe it’s a sign that it’s all about knowing how to be a celebrity rather than knowing the craft of acting.

    • Anonymous

      That was killing me, too! I think it’s partially the promoter’s fault. The one tape job is way off the mark compared to the other tape marks on the carpet.

  • Anonymous

    I love A.J. Cook. She’s just so damn pretty, and she looks amazing in her dress. Also love her shoes. It’s weird to see her like this, since I’ve only ever seen her in her Criminal Minds clothes.

    Clare Danes needs to find two basic styles and stick with them. One casual look, and one dressy/formal look. She needs to stick with the same silhouette (one that works for her), and can play around a little with hem length, neckline, and accessories. The woman has no idea how to dress herself. She always looks terrible.

    Love Swoozie, Jillian, Emmy, and Jessica. I like Lisa’s dress, but her shoes are bad. Everyone else looks like crap.

    • Anonymous

      If you had not said “Criminal Minds,” I would have completely missed JJ. I had to go back and look.

      • Anonymous

        I actually didn’t recognize her.

        Do you watch Criminal Minds regularly, and did you see the season finale? I don’t want to ruin anything if you haven’t seen it yet.

  • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

    I love Swoosie Kurtz’s shoes.

  • Toto Maya

    It must be the lighting, but so many of these people look like zombies in these pictures, even the good ones. Particularly Claire Danes, she looks like she’s been decomposing for a while now, underground, which might explain the ripped clothing.

  • http://profiles.google.com/withano Loren S

    Swoosie’s dress clashes with her hair.

  • Mary McClelland

    Ok, I LOVE that color on Lisa Kudrow – it makes her look so young, but the cut is awful and the dress itself is frumpcity.  Swoozie’s white hose are distracting. No.

  • Mary McClelland

    Ok, I LOVE that color on Lisa Kudrow – it makes her look so young, but the cut is awful and the dress itself is frumpcity.  Swoozie’s white hose are distracting. No.

  • Mary McClelland

    Ok, I LOVE that color on Lisa Kudrow – it makes her look so young, but the cut is awful and the dress itself is frumpcity.  Swoozie’s white hose are distracting. No.

  • Mary McClelland

    Ok, I LOVE that color on Lisa Kudrow – it makes her look so young, but the cut is awful and the dress itself is frumpcity.  Swoozie’s white hose are distracting. No.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_B53PQYXSJR4YJBV3J6BWYSICRQ Jamie

    “Was it the Latisse?”

    hahahahaha

  • Anonymous

    The straps on AJ Cook’s inner dress are too wide.

    That’s the worst Claire Danes has ever looked.  Yikes!

    Can’t say I love those blues on Emmy’s dress combined with that rusty camel color, but the shape is great on her.
    Is Kristen Bell’s dress by the same designer who made that tinsel ribcage dress for Anna Paquin a few weeks back?  Looks like it.  Just say no to underboob!

    Aw, Chloe O’Brien (from 24) looks cute.

    The puffy sleeves on Natascha’s dress take it straight to muumuu territory!

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, I was wondering if that’s the bizarre dress Anna Paquin wore recently. If it is the same dress, at least I’m not seeing underboob this time.

  • Anonymous

    Claire Danes: The dress looks like it’s falling off. And I think it’s wonderful that there’s a female celeb out there without a boob job, but that rag is doing her chest no favors.

    Kat Dennings: I think that green actually works quite nicely with her coloring, but I have never seen a DVF look so awful.

    Lisa Kudrow: Dress looks like she slept in it. I’m sure it’s quite comfy enough to do so.

    Natascha McElhone: This lady’s too beautiful and talented to do Summer’s Eve commercials.

    Oliver Hudson: Another jerk skating by on his looks.

    Renee Felice Smith: What’s with the salon-smock-as-dress meme lately? And the boots? Maybe she walked through slush to get there and didn’t have time to put on her nice shoes.

    Shanola Hampton: I actually love that electric aqua and think it looks beautiful with her skin.

    Swoosie Kurtz: Are we sure she’s not Kathy Griffin’s birth mother?

    Trevor Donovan: Crotch is insane.

  • Anonymous

    Okay guys, Kat Dennings has the potential for a very interesting career and with the right stylists for her unconventional body type she might be able to make it to the next level.  How bout you guys dress her for a column or two?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=513945580 Megan Patterson

    WHAT? I DID NOT HEAR MORENA WAS CAST IN A NEW PROJECT.
    Also Swoosie Kurtz is clearly the most fabulous woman there.

  • Anonymous

    The succinct evisceration of Kat Dennings’ ensemble made me snort.  Which reaction I apparently needed.  AND I’m once again able to access the site.  Thanks, T Lo for your advice.  Now, back to Sisyphean labors.

  • Anonymous

    Morena’s outfit, and the way the pleats un-pleat over her breasts and stomach, reminds me a bit of Gwyneth Paltrow’s horrific Oscar dress from 2002. I do not approve. :)

  • Anonymous

    Morena’s outfit, and the way the pleats un-pleat over her breasts and stomach, reminds me a bit of Gwyneth Paltrow’s horrific Oscar dress from 2002. I do not approve. :)

  • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

    Natascha McElhone looks like a dejected early 90s bridesmaid at a Hawaiian destination wedding.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7Q6ZMQT26563JOBUCTF67ADAFM Fuzz

    Call me uncultured but I’ve always liked the ‘cute dress and big boots’ look. It looks cute, young and spunky. I get why it’s stupid (why are you wearing big boots when you have a little dress on?) but its visual/character appeal overrides the silliness of it.

  • Anonymous

    “DAMN. Swoozie’s all “Get the HELL out of my way, Helen Mirren!”  LOL! Love her, always have and Queen Helen needs a little competition at the head of the Sexay Class…

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know who Barrett Foa is (and I don’t need to know), but, well-dressed as he is, he needs someone to tel him how to stand. He looks like an action figure whose arms don’t bend.

  • Anonymous

    I like Lisa Kudrow’s dress! I think she looks great. 

  • Anonymous

    I disagree about the ugliness of Natascha’s dress, but agree that it’s too busy in front of those logos.  Lisa, my mother used to sleep in that dress.  Claire Danes, what the hell did happen to you?

  • Anonymous

    “Go home, you lazy shit.”
    hahahaha

  • http://www.facebook.com/suzie.vazquez Suzie Vazquez

    What’s wrong with Claire Danes? …(and I adjusted my husband’s tie clip lower the other night out.. )

  • Anonymous

    Swoozie for the win!

  • Anonymous

    Is blue painter’s really the best you can do? Off to invent sparkly diamond tape that will make celebs stand in the right spot and look decent in these red carpet shots. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Luke-Thomas/100001097142086 Luke Thomas

    Wow – were you guys having a rough morning?  I like harsh, but this was brutal.  I agree with the assessments, except on Kat Dennings – love her, love that she embraces not being size 0, and actually, loved the green.

  • Caitlin Gozdecki

    I worked in the dress department of Nordstrom for three years- the Donna Ricco dress Lisa Kudrow is wearing is one of their “replishment” dresses, literally the same style dress every year since before I started working there in ’08. We sold it to people for BRIDESMAIDS- and we all hated it. Whoever sold it to Lisa should be shot.

  • Anonymous

    I LMAO several times while reading this.
    My favorite: “Was it the Latisse?”

    Swoozie FTW.

  • http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

    thanks for making me laugh several times in this post (:

  • http://twitter.com/kmc1138 Kathleen Coyle

    I honestly hoped this post would feature Jensen Ackles making out with himself.  Ah, well.

  • http://twitter.com/kmc1138 Kathleen Coyle

    I honestly hoped this post would feature Jensen Ackles making out with himself.  Ah, well.

  • Anonymous

    Jillian Michaels might be crazy but her workout DVDs are awesome!