PR: The Queen Mother’s Fit of Pique

Posted on August 07, 2011

TO: Her Serene Imperial Majesty, on the occasion of her royal fuckup.

We, the undersigned, have several points we wish Your Grace to consider when carrying out her Queenly Duties going forward. If it please Your Highness, we will proceed through the use of visual aids.

And if it doesn’t please Your Highness, we don’t care. You’re going to sit on that throne and like it.

Looks like someone thought a little too highly of herself this week.

If this was a case of, say, creative block, or an idea that turned out badly, or a lack of technical skills, or even just a big sloppy meltdown, we could understand and sympathize, to a point. But this wasn’t any of those things.

This was Your Serene Highness obnoxiously declaring himself above the proceedings the very second the challenge was announced. Girl, that’s just nasty. No one forced you to be on this little game show and you should know what’s to be expected of you once you sign on. And don’t even try the silly “I never really watched the show before…” excuse, because that gets lamer and less likely with each successive season.

Although we almost could believe Your Majesty had never seen the show before because for some reason the Royal Personage  equated unconventional materials challenges with costumes, going so far as to declare “I’m not gonna make a costume.” Who asked you to make a costume, Your Bitchness? The whole point to these challenges is to make believable clothes out of the materials, you silly, stuck up queen.

Begging your pardon, mum.

Oh, Your Grace. Let’s not fight. The point is, this isn’t what you do when you have immunity, dear. It’s, in fact, the exact opposite reaction to have if you want to stay in the judges’ good graces. You don’t say “I have immunity, so I don’t give a crap,” the contenders in Project Runway history are always the ones who say “I have immunity, so I’m going to take this chance to really go crazy/do what I want/wow the judges.”

In other words, immunity is your opportunity to be even more creative and more impressive. To do otherwise – to actively and obviously do otherwise by throwing any old half-assed thing down the runway – pretty much boiled off any goodwill you got from the judges last week.

You really blew this one, Your Imperial Majesty. First-challenge winners can coast on that good will for another 4 or 5 challenges at least, so long as they keep putting the effort in and avoid any disasters.

And you could have easily done that, Your Highness. You can make simple, chic looks in your sleep; good enough to get you at least to the midpoint without too much strain. Now?

Well, now you’ve got an uphill climb. And since your attitude was so inexplicably bad this week and no one called you on it, we fear you don’t even realize this yet. Our fear with you was always that you’d be too set in your ways, too annoyed with your co-stars, and too cranky from lack of sleep to keep yourself in the game. If you’re like this in the second challenge – when you have zero pressure on you – we’re scared to think what you’re going to be like when things get ugly. And ohhhhh, girl; they are going to get ugly.

Assess the dress? Pfft. If you didn’t put the effort in, why should we?

Oh, fine.

The use of the netting was the beginning of a really good idea. A whole dress or even just a skirt entirely made out of tiers of ruffled netting would have been passably cute.

At the very least, it would have had more design elements than this bath towel with a dust ruffle attached to it.

And Your Majesty, if nothing else, you could have taken the opportunity this week to really wow the judges with your styling abilities, since it was the one criticism you got from them last week. That you didn’t even do that is a testament to how completely disengaged you were from the competition.

Now wipe that smirk off your face, get back in that workroom, and make middle-aged queens everywhere proud, you ungrateful thing. You are the QUEEN MOTHER. Now act like it.

Yours in Eternal Servitude,

The Duchess of Fabulous

The Countess of Opinions

 

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke/MyLifetime.com - Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

    • Anonymous

      Thank you TLo…..Although I know that Bert’s future on the program may already be sealed (how far ahead are they in taping?)…I hope this proves to be a one challenge f/up.  I would, humbly, add to your critique that he also made a comment along the lines of, “Heidi, I don’t know how you can critique this outfit when you wore something very similar last week.”

      PS– Tim Gunn was seen taping at Naeem Khan’s studio last week.  Couldn’t tell if there were contestants, though.

      • Logo Girl

        They are probably on home visits now. The show taped in June and Fashion Week is in about a month.

        • Anonymous

          uh, it’s already all done…photos leaked from Fashion Week…nothing about the finalists, but a certain large butted reality TV “star” was present as a judge apparently.

          Not J.Lo. Different large butted “star”.

          • http://profiles.google.com/shawna.ready shawna ready

            I think you are mistaken, the pictures you saw of kim kardashian are from next weeks show. Fashion Week has not happened yet.

          • http://www.facebook.com/samuel.j.donovan Samuel Joesph Donovan

            Yeah, fashion week hasn’t occured yet–first week or so in September.

      • http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease

        “Heidi, I don’t know how you can critique this outfit when you wore something very similar last week.”
        WHERE CAN I WATCH THIS.

        • Anonymous

          I don’t have the episode anymore, but I think he said it (or something like that) as he was starting his dress….I think the comment was made while he was talking to Queen Clinique.  If I get a chance I will look for it.

          • http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease

            Drat, I had hoped he had said it to her face. That would be suicidal yes, but the ballsiness would be admirable. 

        • http://profiles.google.com/h.e.waddell Heather Waddell

          Lifetime has the episodes up in their entirety for watching online. It’s the one thing I appreciate about the switch from Bravo.

    • Anonymous

      That’s exactly what I was thinking , about adding more tiers of the net/mesh (whateveh) and leaving at a little longer in the back. Maybe a mesh/net and pink headress and a pink rhinestone cat collar too. She could be the pet store challenge bride. Or make a crown out of the cat collar and she could be the Queen of  Purr Petua
      And if Bert has never seen Project Runway before then I”M the Queen of England.

      • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

        And how much longer would it have taken to add another four or five tiers?  It’s not like he needed that much more to actually make something that at least looked like he gave enough of a damn.  It would have given the cascade down her back more impact, too.

        The effort required to turn this “flipping the bird” dress into a passable garment wasn’t that much so him settling for this makes his attitude that much worse for me.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PRM766RS56X25A5742XLACK2LM Sam

          He might have not had enough materials to make a full dress out of those tiers.
          He was already over the challenge when they were shopping for it.

      • Anne Robotti

        SS, did you try out this year?

    • scottyf

      From the Desk of Future Prince ScottyF, Duke of Fierceness

      Dear Cuddlepuss Bert

      I couldn’t agree more with the Duchess and Countess. Snap out of it bitch.

      No “hide the pin cushion” for YOU tonight.

      xoxoxoxo

      • Anonymous

        Girl, get a prenup.  He is showing the hints of the type of instablity that empty’s bank accounts, creates drama and makes ones friends run and hide.  I’m still hoping for the best for you crazy kids though……

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NMIFZ6A7BHP66M546AO77BWVQ4 Bonnie

        To the Queen Mum-Scotty is hot…and intelligent and sensitive…QM, you do not want to lose his love…or bodkin….
        Now, please, for the sake of all who love a good middle-aged queen mum, snap out of your snit and get back to work
        bitchybitchybitchy

    • Anonymous

      Bert’s attitude this week is truly hard to understand.  He seemed to have so much potential last week to play the game well and was anxious to show what he can do and this week seemed like he couldn’t be bothered to try.

      Bert, please have a better attitude next week – you are making the old people look bad.

    • Anonymous

      he was such a whiny bitch I now hate him and wanna see him get cut off

    • RyzandShyn

      Yes, Queen Mother, what they said.
      I was disappointed beyond words at your lousy, stuck-up, head too big for the room attitude.

    • Anonymous

      Yup. Not only did Bert waste the opportunity, he left a bad taste in the judges mouthes. This was the chance to make a Cruella de Vil ball gown out of squeak toys. Either it would be  huge success or it would fail spectacularly. But it would erase the “Bert’s not creative enough”  notion the judges are harboring, no matter which way it went.

      • Anonymous

        A Cruella de Vil gown out of squeak toys would be fabulous!  Future PR contestants take note!

        • Anonymous

          sounds a bit Chris March to me, considering he did it with plush puppies!

          (that pair of words will always remind me of Casanova, though)

        • Toni Mitt

          Yes–using ploosh poopies! 

    • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

      Bert’s whole attitude for the entire show had me miffed. He didn’t just lose the judges’ goodwill: he lost the viewers’ too. I was on team Bert after episode 1; and suddenly, my enthusiasm for the plucky guy went down the drain when I saw the laziness and calculation. And now with my future boyfriend Josh Christensen gone, I’m not sure where my loyalties lie. I thought Barbie Doll would get on my nerves, but the gal turned her atrocious look into something cute when she saw how poorly things were going. Clinique Counter gets on my nerves: a little too much bend and snap in that personality for me to take. Perhaps I shall put my eggs in the Colorblind Oneball basket–er, so to speak. 

      • MilaXX

        Let’s just call him Colorball or CB for short.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      The Lifetime website made me sad because they have a video up on there called “Everybody Hates Bert” that has the other designers’ impressions of Bert. Not all of them take him seriously. I think it was Fallene who laughed him off as “just an old queen.” However, some really loathe him.

    • Anonymous

      I had to watch the whole show without audio as I was on a “can’t interrupt or postpone” phone call, but the bum attitude and lack of interest was more than manifest on “mute.”  I won’t be watching for the next three weeks – off to far-far away destinations, but this portends poorly for Mr. Kessler.  Bad strategy, Bert.  Would that you could have channeled TLo for a whup upside your “not playing” head.

    • Anonymous

      Bert, you disappointed us.  Go wash that smirk off your face and come back with a better attitude.

    • Anonymous

      Talk about a 180 in every possible way: design, attitude, personality, work ethic.  I was really surprised to learn from the previews that Bert would be the one who Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends.  (We all knew someone would utter that line; it’s in the contract.)  Looks like he also runs afoul of the other designers in the team challenge this week as well.  I don’t recall any contestant in such a hurry to torch so many different bridges this early in the season.

    • muzan-e

      He disappointed me terribly this week – not because the dress is a bore, not because I wouldn’t be paid to wear it, and not because the whole thing was a loud, smirking case of don’tgiveashits.

      He disappointed me because during one of those interviews, he stated that his interest didn’t lie in winning the competition – 

      but in using it as a tool to kickstart his creativity, get him thinking outside his comfort zone. He wanted it to challenge and inspire and refresh him!

      Instead it turned him into a brat.
      Temporarily, I hope.

    • Anonymous

      Did you notice that OliveLoaf’s response to immunity was “that’ll make me work all the harder next week”?  Quite different than the Queen Mum’s disdain.  He’ll have to work triply hard to get back in any good graces of the judges.  Definitely tainted my middle-aged love for him.

      • Anonymous

        Tainted, indeed. I was on the Queen’s lovetrain from the moment I saw his intro video at home with her little pup. I’m hoping this was those nasty-wasty producers manipulating us innocent viewers again. Hopefully, the Queen can turn this mess around, go back to the start and whip up some divine designs in the coming weeks.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ACEXIRB7WTXZXM6VDGGYWMP3ZI Celia Poole

      I paid $ 22.85 for an iPhone 4-32GB and my girlfriend loves her Panasonic Lumix GF 1 Camera that we got for $ 38.76 there arriving tomorrow by UPS. I will never pay such expensive retail prices in stores again. Especially when I also sold a 40 inch LED TV to my boss for $ 674 which only cost me $ 62.81 to buy. Here is the website we use to get it all from, CentHub.com

    • Anonymous

      Honeypie, I have pinned and draped manikins for window display in 5 minutes that have more interest and zip than that fugly thing.  SHAME on you Bert.  The only positive note I can bring to this round table dishfest is that his styling improved dramatically.

    • http://oshunanat.livejournal.com/ Carrie

      THANK YOU.

      I was so incredibly disgusted with Bert this week. I was totally ready to get behind him and root for him, but the attitude was so petty and juvenile!

      He’s got one week to get back into my graces before I go root for Anthony just out of the sheer lols of wanting to see his make-up each week.

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        No, that’s Josh — Anthony’s the colorblind one.

    • Anonymous

      I couldn’t believe how disengaged he was from the challenge, and now I’m thinking on those trailers about future shows and wondering how it will transpire. I was totally Team Bert last week, but this week, wow, what a turnaround.  I do have one thing to say: some of the other contestants were downright NASTY to him behind his back when they produced just as ugly garments. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        I can understand the other designers being nasty.  Not because their garments were so great, but because they all knew what they were signing up for and  it’s just incredibly rude to be so dismissive of a challenge when they’re knocking themselves out to try and stay.

        • Anonymous

          Yes, you do have a good point.  Maybe it’s because Barbie was part of it. 

    • http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

      Seriously.  I wanted to love Bert, but he was just so infuriating!  We’ll see if he can redeem himself, but dude better get it together!

    • Anonymous

      And since your attitude was so inexplicably bad this week and no one called you on it

      Heidi slammed him.  Did you forget, “You’re lucky you had immunity” as they sent the “safe” designers off the runway?

      He’s really pissed her off, which does not bode well for his future on this show.

    • Anonymous

      And since your attitude was so inexplicably bad this week and no one called you on it

      Heidi slammed him.  Did you forget, “You’re lucky you had immunity” as they sent the “safe” designers off the runway?

      He’s really pissed her off, which does not bode well for his future on this show.

      • Anne Robotti

        She didn’t look pissed to me – more cautionary. Maybe she didn’t know about his attitude, and was just talking about the safety and the simplicity of the dress. Because if she knew the whole story, I think she’d have given him the big Teuton smackdown. Or let Nina do it.

    • Anonymous

      Without a major attitude adjustment, I think the Queen Mum is going to be vacating that throne a lot sooner than he might like. It’s boring watching someone on PR who thinks the whole thing is beneath him. I don’t care how silly the challenge might seem to him; he chose the playground, he is obligated to play.

    • Anonymous

      Well said, miladies.

      I refrained from jumping onto the Team Burt bandwagon last week because I’m riding with Team Anya for as long as her Trini ass stays on the show. I did love his first challenge dress, but this piece of shit is disgraceful.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michelle-Shields/1200782178 Michelle Shields

      you’ve said what needed to be said….bowing down :P

    • Anonymous

      As a watcher of the furrin’ PRs, Bert is reminding me of Marie-Genvieve of Canada Season 1. Talented designer who would have these weird fits of self sabotage on occasion. She also did an FU dress once when she had immunity, and made a dress for a woman who hated looking at her feet which showcased her feet. She managed to make it to the final three – albeit with an auf in the middle on account of the feet dress, since they had a weasel your way back in to the show challenge – but there were many head-slapping “get your head out of your ass and play the game, you aren’t above this!” moments.

      • http://aris-tgd.dreamwidth.org/ Aris Merquoni

        “Eet’s not my cuppa tea.” EXACTLY. Though Bert seems a lot more haughty and MG a lot more pouty. Hopefully he can have his own slap in the face before too long.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PRM766RS56X25A5742XLACK2LM Sam

      Bert really seemed above the challenge as a whole.
      I think this is the case where his experience (or pride) is actually hurting him. I mean, he was working in the industry in the 70’s, with some big names, I assume his reasoning to be in the program is to get back into the industry after his leave of absence.
      He’s just not willing to jump though the hoops that the show throws at them. And with his credits, I don’t blame him, I wouldn’t want to either. I just wouldn’t sign up for the show KNOWING that’s what they would ask me to do.

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        I have the utmost sympathy for Bert for his reasons in leaving the industry.  He was there at a really horrible time, and seeing so many of your friends and colleagues suffer the way he did would make you want to get out.  But he left; in fashion, you don’t get to just walk away and expect to be able to come back later — if your name isn’t in circulation for very long, people forget about you and move on to the next young, big name. 

        But if he wants to use this show to get back to work, he needs to be willing to bend.  Hell, if nothing else, he should be able to have a sense of humor about these things.  I mean, when you’ve had that kind of experience in fashion, being asked to make a dress out of pet supplies is kind of funny.

      • MilaXX

         If he just wants recognition again he should have auditioned for All on the Line

    • Anonymous

      That’s one of the worst PR outfits ever. Not because it’s the ugliest or most disastrous, but because it’s ugly and a chimpanzee with a stapler could have made it. Hell, I could have made it.

      I think, he did, however, have the styling criticism in mind; he told the stylist to make her look “modern” (or something like that; I don’t remember exactly).

      • Anonymous

        LOL @ “chimpanzee with a stapler”

    • Anonymous

      Agree with all comments – also want to add….how awesome is it to get a T Lo post on a Sunday?!?! Total treat. I always thought Sunday was the day of (well deserved and understood) rest. I feel like I just got flowers delivered to my apartment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/WendyLKaufman Wendy Kaufman

      I bow to your greatness–or were you just reading my mind? Spot on guys. You rock.

    • Anonymous

      A perfect post for the royal meltdown!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_B53PQYXSJR4YJBV3J6BWYSICRQ Jamie

      At least he agrees with TLo and called himself the Queen of England this week.

      • http://twitter.com/ms_smartiepants Beth M.

        I KNOW! That was awesome. I laughed soooo hard when he said that, that I was required to explain myself to others in the room with me.

    • Anonymous

      Funny as it seems, my teenage LIKED the dress and wants me to copy it! It’s not really that ugly, but looks as if it WAS designed for the H&M/Forever 21 crowd. That’s the sin.

      Burt needs to remember that, if he wants back in couture, he better start acting like couture matters.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

        It’s very much like a 1960’s Baby Doll nightie- sort of cute if you want a period look but a pitiful entry to send down the runway.

    • Anonymous

      “Fit of Pique”

      Love that.  Going to go have one now.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LSGDWPRY6JLBPB43EO6MIAURZI what

      Well if he doesn’t want to make costumes he might be in for a pretty rough time with the next challenge also, isn’t it the one where the models are on stilts?  Also, as an aside, I’ll mention how I just read an article about how they’ll be another PR show at Fashion Week where again 10 (maybe nine?) of this seasons contestants will be showing. It’s interesting because Tim said he pretty much hates when that happens.

      • BuffaloBarbara

        I think they’re trying to balance between the live viewers and the TV viewers. The TV-only viewers, I think, would be happy if only the top three showed, and wouldn’t care that much about a spoiler of who those people are if they happened to hear one.  The ones who go all the way to New York to attend the PR show, on the other hand, want a longer spectacle to enjoy for their troubles, which means more designers showing.

        • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

          Especially because each designer only does 10 looks.  If it’s only the top 3 and 1 decoy, it’s kind of a bummer of a show. 

          • Anne Robotti

            What if they gave them 20 grand and each designer did the full monty? The trouble is, the last time too many designers showed, the ones that were decoys were so obvious, because they were a hot mess. I’d like to see that money get put to better use.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

      Perfect royal missive, I curtsy and genuflect in your general direction.

    • Anonymous

      “Tlo said: Now wipe that smirk off your face, get back in that workroom, and make middle-aged queens everywhere proud, you ungrateful thing.”

      And remember the last words of another famous Queen, who got a little too big for her britches: 

      ‘Uh oh.’ ~Marie Antionette

      –HRHGothamTomato

    • http://profiles.google.com/misslauraschultz Laura Schultz

      It’s embarrassingly bad…

      • Anne Robotti

        Can we talk about this for a second? Is it really that bad? Maybe I’m just not seeing the fug, but I thought it was cute. I know that his attitude raised some hackles, but the dress itself seems kind of adorable. Was it just that it wasn’t unconventional enough of a material? The dress that won was made out of a dog bed too, and not an exceptionally well-designed effort either.

        • Anonymous

          Good or bad is a matter of opinion, of course. I do think it’s that bad, not because it’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen (it’s definitely not), but because I just don’t see any design at all. I mean, to me, it really looks like something a person who doesn’t normally make clothes might make in an emergency: take a piece of fabric and make into a tube, and then take another piece of fabric and wrap it around as an embellishment. Even the little “tail” in the back looks like extra fabric left there because the person didn’t know how to finish it.  

          But I don’t feel quite as annoyed by his attitude as everyone else, only because I suspect he was completely stumped by the challenge, didn’t know what the hell to do, and the “I’m above this, and I don’t have to try” thing might have been his way of covering up.

          • Alloy Jane

            Even if he was stumped by the idea of making something out of what he felt was garbage, he STILL could have made something noteworthy out of the textile-like materials he picked up.  I love fashion from the 60s, but his dress was just… offensive.  The netting was ridic and, like others have already mentioned, the total non-design of his garment was pedestrian.  I wish they had revoked his immunity, or at least kept him on the block just to let him have it for his awful attitude.  Even crier Josh’s shot for mediocrity had more design and effort than Bert’s.  I am severely displeased.  Uncle Tightass needs a medical procedure.

          • Anonymous

            I’m not all that annoyed either. I guess, in the scheme of things, it doesn’t seem that important to me for a designer to blow off a challenge. Yeah his attitude was bad but I’ve seen much worse behavior on this show. He’s not even a Santino-level asshole at this point (and I love Santino).

             I’m withholding judgment until at least this week’s episode so I can see how he reacts to working on a gimmick-laden challenge with another designer.

          • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

            Then admit it.  Be totally honest about the fact that this challenge isn’t in your wheelhouse and you have no idea what to do for it.  Don’t sit there talking smack about it to cover up the fact that you don’t know what your doing — that’s a tactic reserved for teenagers.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2FXYZIJCBOTXXYBFGMESVTCVWM bradybutkus

      Totally agree.  So smug, so above it all.  Bert this better be an aberation or PR fans will rip you to shreds.  We can hate with the fire of a thousand suns and we do not forget!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2FXYZIJCBOTXXYBFGMESVTCVWM bradybutkus

      Totally agree.  So smug, so above it all.  Bert this better be an aberation or PR fans will rip you to shreds.  We can hate with the fire of a thousand suns and we do not forget!

    • http://profiles.google.com/shawna.ready shawna ready

      Thanks for the Sunday post!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/petra.burkhalter Petra Burkhalter

      I don’t know, I still love him. He is just made of I-don’t-give-a-fuck. Will that help him succeed on Project Runway? Probably not. I hope you bounce back, Bert!

    • BuffaloBarbara

      I wasn’t entirely on board with Bert anyway (I’m inexplicably in Anya’s camp), and this did not help matters.  Honey, you don’t go on PR without knowing that you’re going to be making a weird dress out of weird materials at some point.  Further, you should always look at the Unconventional challenge as a chance to prove how utterly awesome you are, with the ability to–possibly literally at some point in the competition–make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.  This is where you prove you understand the underlying principles of design better than any of those embryos you’re competing with.  Instead, you proved you could look for fabric substitutes and make them into a not-terribly-attractive dress.

      • Anonymous

        Come to think of it, why hasn’t there been a “silk purse out of a sow’s ear” challenge?

        • Anonymous

          Pet supply stores sell pig ears for dogs to chew on!  Someone should have made a clutch out of them just to see if any of the judges “got it.”

          • Anonymous

            That would have been awesome.

          • Anonymous

            That would have been awesome.

          • Anonymous

            This was supposed to be a reply to someone’s comment about making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear… my comments are landing in wonky places today, sorry.

    • Anonymous

      Is it real “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, or is he scared to give a fuck?  Just wondering.  

      • Anonymous

        Good point, scared to care would make tons of sense for a person who lost his career to drinking and has only been dry for three years.  He might still be very fragile, and masks it with a stinky attitude.

      • Anonymous

        The end result is the same either way.

      • Anne Robotti

        I don’t mean to be dismissive of his recovery or whatever fear he might be feeling or any ageism he might be subjected to, but there are PLENTY of people who are ready to go on this show every season and kill themselves on every challenge and get over themselves and care. If you’re not going to be one of them, go try out for the A-List or some other show where you’re not taking a spot from someone worthy who’ll appreciate it!

    • Anonymous

      Watching the promos, it seems Bert falls out with several people during what appear to be team challenges. Maybe we were being set up the first challenge by the editors to feel all the Bert love. I certainly did. Anyway, he did deserve his first win but this was pitiful.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HBS4KWJ6XTPDEL2JMD37ZS5YHA Ben

      I thought that was the worst outfit in Week 2. I mean, the Bottom 3 still look like there were works and effort put into them. This one? A joke. 

    • Anonymous

      TO: Her Serene Imperial Majesty, on the occasion of her royal fuckup.
      Just think of the possibilities, office memos would never be the same…or letters to your congressperson…

      Love this!!!!

      The Baroness of BitterKits

    • Anonymous

      I wonderl if saying he was above it all was Bert’s way of coping with a challenge that completely threw him for a loop, and he didn’t want to admit it anyone, especially himself.  I worry about Bert and his coping skills in this pressure cooker filled with bitchy young ‘uns.

      Love, 
      The Marchioness of Wild Speculation

      • Anonymous

        It’s often difficult to be the oldest or the youngest in the room, in a reality show or real life. If that’s the first thing people talk about you, you’re labeled and thought of as limited from the start because lots of folks have ageist stereotypes in their minds.

    • http://twitter.com/leslielies Leslie S

      you guys are amazing.

    • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

      I disagree. I think that one of the choices you have when you have immunity is to conserve your energy because the constant lack of sleep and increased pressure is going to wear down on you, so rest when you can.

      Also, we all know they are allowed to have alcohol in the apartments, or at least past seasons would have people gather together in apartments for wine.  Alcoholics and addicts know that one of the best ways to maintain sobriety is, when possible, to avoid situations that increase the cravings to use.  Bert knows that stress is probably going to be one of his triggers, and he will be highly stressed the longer he stays, so he’s avoiding his triggers while he can.

      I think when he sits back quietly, which people regard as snobbery, he’s avoiding drama and conflict when possible.  He knows there will be times when he can’t avoid it and times when he can, so he grabs the times he can.

      He seems to be a perfect case study of someone in extended sobriety, and I love him for that.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks for making this excellent point. I was not something I had considered.

      • Lies L.

        I totally agree with this. Sure, he acted like a brat but… I too suspect that there may have been something at the back of that. And of course the editors would play it up, because it has great reality tv value. I think your assessment could be correct.

      • Anonymous

        We can speculate as long as we like, but maybe going on a tv show with quick, energy consuming challenges isn’t the best way to avoid stress…

        • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

          Any addict knows they cannot avoid stress. They just develop coping mechanisms. They also know that they do not know what they can handle until they try.

          If every addict were to avoid every competition reality TV show because of the stress, it might make life easier for non-addicts, but it would also make the world a less interesting place.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah sorry there are too many “they” in your comment. “They” have a pretty wide range of behaviors. Addiction (more so if it’s a past one) just can’t be an excuse to act like a dick as he did in this episode.

            • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

              I don’t see it as an excuse. I just see it as providing more of an explanation than “he’s an asshole” type of explanations. “They” can have a pretty wide range of behaviors, but Bert is also exhibiting behaviors that are pretty classic for addicts in recovery. It’s like I could sit with a checklist during the episode and check things off. Not saying he’s perfect. Not saying he doesn’t deserve criticism. Just saying I like the guy a lot and have no problem with his behavior in that episode and just trying to explain why I have no problem with it.

              Also, addictions are never in the past. They are always present. The question is just whether you are in sobriety or giving into the addiction. And, if this is like past seasons, every time he opens the fridge, he sees the substance that ignited his addiction, which means he has to engage in even more protective behaviors, perhaps to the point of over-protection.

            • Anonymous

              Well said, Nels, in all of your comments in this thread. I think it’s absolutely possible that what you said is what’s really going on.

              When Bert said he’d stopped drinking three years ago, I thought about what a short time three years is to be sober, especially because he started drinking heavily in the early 90’s, I believe. That’s a long to be drunk.

              I said in an earlier comment that I’m withholding judgment for now. I don’t understand why so many people are so scandalized. I mean, he might really just be a lazy, self-important asshole, but I’m not willing to write him off yet. He could have had a bad week. Maybe, like Michael Kors, he was having a man-o-pause moment.

    • Anonymous

      Bert’s dress immediately reminded me of a tacky rip-off of the dress SJP as Carrie wore in the last episode of SATC- at the club when Alex gives her the diamond necklace..that was a gorgeous little black cocktail dress with a pink feathery trim at the top. If Carrie had to wear Bert’s creation she would jump in front of the bus

    • Anonymous

      Bert’s dress immediately reminded me of a tacky rip-off of the dress SJP as Carrie wore in the last episode of SATC- at the club when Alex gives her the diamond necklace..that was a gorgeous little black cocktail dress with a pink feathery trim at the top. If Carrie had to wear Bert’s creation she would jump in front of the bus

    • Anonymous

      I know this goes against the prevailing opinions here but I see Bert a bit differently. I’m in no way defending his dress (which I thought rather unremarkable and dull) nor his attitude, which was contrite. 

      However, I relate to Bert for a number of reasons so perhaps his mood seems less puzzling to me. First, he and I are close in age. Second, like Bert I’ve lost a number of close friends and loved ones to AIDS. Living through the death of anyone near and dear can be hard but at that time, it was especially taxing to see literally dozens of gorgeous, active men around you wither and disappear. Especially when people were still unclear about the causes and there was little to no treatment. There comes a point when anyone questions the futility and impetus for moving on.

      Yet we did. And apparently Bert chose alcohol as his method of dealing with the grief and loss. My coping mechanism was different. Eventually he sought help and became sober which for anyone, dealing with loss or not, isn’t easy to do. 

      So yes, I sometimes see in Bert a part of me that is exasperated and sighs and thinks “what the fuck is the point?” Perhaps he even joined the competition with hopes for reigniting some purpose but that struggle is never easy and certainly being surrounded by such artifice and affectation as he is on the set doesn’t help. 

      I really want him to do well. If for no other reason than to give me and anyone else who’s been defeated by tragedy some recognition that it can be overcome. I want to see him make a dress that would make his friends who have passed proud. I would love for him to know that Virus can kill many things but it can’t kill our creative spirit. It might not happen, maybe not on this show, but I’m willing to allow Bert the room to fight his own battles. 

      That’s all. Go Bert. Thousands and thousands of eyes, both on Earth and elsewhere, are watching. 

      • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

        Yes, very, very true. I see a lot of me in Bert, too, and think of all of my friends, including my first husband, who are dead and how anytime anyone reminds of us those loses and that we can survive as Bert has done is doing a good thing. That doesn’t mean Bert is perfect, but I’m not seeing a Serene Imperial Majesty, either. Actually, I take that back. He does seem pretty serene, and I admire that in him.

      • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

        i think in AA they taught him to pace himself. my guess is he considered the long haul & blew off a challenge in which he had both immunity & minimal interest so he could save his energy & shine later.

      • Anonymous

        Imagine me “Liking” this 500 times over.

    • Anonymous

      I defy anybody to look at that coat Korto made out of seat belts, or the dress Laura B. made out of flour bags (or whatever they were), and call either of those designs a ‘costume’. That comment alone makes me wonder if he really hasn’t ever watched the show. 

      • Anonymous

        If anyone hadn’t seen the show, I might most believe it could be Bert.  Once I knew I was going to be on the show, I certainly would sit down and watch on DVD.  That would take about a week.

    • MilaXX

      This would be him living up the moniker “Uncle Tightass”, no?  Oh Bert why would you take your moment in the judges good graces and cause them to give you side eye?

    • Anonymous

      Even ALP Jeffrey was determined to win again after he earned immunity. It’s a sad and sorry day when ALP has to be looked to as an example of the right attitude.

    • Anonymous

      I’m torn over Son Altesse Sérénissime on that one. So make a pretty dress out of one’s pajama is a challenge good enough for him but the same challenge with animal’s shop thingy is too lame for him ? Seriously ?
      Most of the contestants seems pretty game so far and quite happy to have the inconventionnal material challenge out of the way. Still, the way the show is going since episode 1, I think the producers have found some pretty crazy challenges to throw at them after that.
      That being said, loud mouths always make the judges moisty so I wonder if SAS didn’t take the challenge this way as a way to show them he was his own master and a strong one at that.
      The thing is, when you do that, you have to throw a pretty faboulus garment on the runway in order to bypass the trivial “you didn’t take the basis of the challenge at heart”. And he didn’t do that. He made a sad and boring dress, styled out of his ass and called it a day.
      Bad move.

    • Anonymous

      Cripes people no spoilers !!! Some of us don’t want to know anything before the episode airs.

      • http://www.tomandorenzo.com Tom and Lorenzo

        The episode aired three days ago.

      • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

        you can watch it on the lifetime website. it took them about two days to upload it but if even i‘ve seen it, believe me, it’s seriously available.

      • Anonymous

        I meant in the comments, there were comments about Tim Gunn seen filming at Neem Kahn last week, or people  debating if JLo or Kim Kardashian are judging at finals week. Please at least give a “Spoliers Alert” heads up on your comments then. It is episode two and people are already talking about fashion week.

    • http://twitter.com/karenwalsh Karen Walsh

      Queen Mother!  Indeed. You sure acted like everything was beneath you this week.  So how about producing some more garments that prove you are the Queen, mkay? Come on Bert, I’m rooting for you!  Now get your ass back in the game! Don’t make me regret my love for you.

      Love, your humble servant lovemesomebertnjulie

    • Rand Ortega

      Smell. Her!
      Look, your Highney, I literally flipped when I saw your audition tape & subsequent intro interview on PR. But the last episode & that hiddy poliddy has seriously made me question my love for you. Pls make an attitude adjustment STAT & go back to the chic, neo ’70’s fabulosity in design & attitude that initially gained you so many fans. 

    • Damien Washington

      Charles Pierce said it best in Torch Song Trilogy: “I swear that queen gives me gas.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jin-Ong/584903214 Jin Ong

      I knew it. I knew he was an Anthony/Christopher. I have no idea why you guys compared him to Laura.

    • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

      Does anyone else think the way Lifetime is doing Fan Favorite is ridiculous? There are all these people tweeting #pr9bert to complain about him, and each one of those tweets counts as a vote for him. I don’t know if viewers are stupid or Lifetime is stupid or both, but it’ll be hilarious is someone wins Fan Favorite because of all the tweets about how horrible they are.

      • Anonymous

        Of course, it’s ridiculous.  Not everyone wastes their time on Twitter.  People should just be able to vote on the website.

        • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

          You can vote on their website. They just count every tweet with the right hashtag, too. At least those voting on the website know they are voting for the person. I’m not so sure all tweeps are.

      • Nancy Lehet

        Good point, but I suppose from where Lifetime is coming from, negative tweets still equate to viewers and that’s really what they care about. Maybe they just need to rename it…

    • Anonymous

      Zzzzzzzzzzz.

      My money is on Bertha pacing himself.  Can’t show all the cards yet, can we?

      Wouldn’t that net make a faboo hat!

    • Anonymous

      I made that for one of my Barbies when I was 9 or 10, except the towel was white. The Queen Mother better get her shit together or there’s going to be a revolt!

    • fragileindustries

      I could have wept … who knew he was allergic to having a little fun?  When I saw the source for the UM challenge, I immediately thought that there would be a few Cruella de Vils going down the runway, and hoped Bert would seize the day and use his immunity for a good laugh.  Think of the collar opportunities in a few dozen eviscerated furry catnip mice … in black and white … and a dog bone clutch.  But perhaps we are mistaking Burt for the cuddly bears of the past who would have had fun making a costume.

      • Anonymous

        Now I totally want a dog bone clutch.

    • Toto Maya

      I was babysitting toddlers in a church event this evening, and one of the toddlers was wearing a dress that looked almost exactly like Bert’s dress.

    • Anonymous

      The Duchess of Fabulous

      The Countess of Opinions

      Which is Which?  I’d hlave though a litte of each?

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        I’m gonna guess Lo is the Duchess of Fabulous and T is the Countess of Opinions, just because I know Lo is more the fashion guy.

    • Ted Kane

      I saw comments about Bert in the TLounge here before I had a chance to watch the episode, and having watched it, I just didn’t think his behavior was all that awful.  He didn’t embrace the challenge the way he might have, but the attitude looked to be mostly a result of editing.  On the other hand, I suspect that it’s part of a narrative, and that we’ll see worse behavior in weeks to come, especially as the bitchy younger designers start to get more open about their hostility.  There seems to be a groupthink that goes on, among the bulk of the contestants, and sometimes in the comment section, and it buys into a narrative of Bert being unpleasant.  Among some of the designers, that judgment seems to have been made very quickly and on the basis of age.  

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TRYUOEZZC2IVUO24TCJMVTDNSU Gianni Rubino

      Forgive me, it’s late, I’m tired, I’m blind, I’m blonde, etc.

      … but …

      When did Chris Crocker become Bert’s model?

      Gianni Rubino

      • Damien Washington

        Now we know what turned him to porn.

    • Anonymous

      ass. How BOILING MAD do you thik every person that DIDNt make it onto the show rightfully is right now. ASS!  Andif you werent goingot amk a costume then WHY DID YOU DRESS HER UP AS A DUST RUFFLE???  Jackass. GOD I hate bad attitudes in the light of a fantastic opportunity   you old drunk.

      • Anonymous

        Well this is certainly a coherent, rational response to a television show you have nothing to do with. What’s next? Raging about Jeanie’s cramped living quarters with challenged English? 

      • Anonymous

        Ah, I take it that you were not accepted for the show.  Perhaps the fact that you are totally incoherent explains that.

      • Anonymous

        “You old drunk”? What is wrong with you?

      • Anonymous

        Tut-tut. Let’s examine what Bert did, shall we? He won last weeks challege and was awarded immunity as a prize, which means the more or less gave him the day off. They gave him the day off and he took it (what a nerve on that Bert). Now the desison to actual state that he wasn’t really into this challege, may well come back to bite him , but he and I and everyone else knows that whatever garments he produces over the courrse on the show they would never, under any circumstances, give or award him the grand prize..

    • Alloy Jane

      Good grief, this is the kind of mentality that keeps people in addiction.  Addiction is a choice, not a disease.  The past is past and does not determine the present unless you allow it to.  The sort of behavior Bert is exhibiting is exactly the type of behavior of those who cling to the addict mentality in order to eschew personal responsibility.  He chose to enter this competition, and instead of taking the opportunity to dive into the do-or-die creativity-extracting machine that is Project Runway and reawaken his design soul, he sat back, said “Fuck it.  I’ve worked with rock-stars in this industry, I’m not doing this bullshit” and made a dogbed towel with netting.

      • Anonymous

        Addiction is a choice, not a disease.

        That may be one of the most ridiculous statements I’ve ever read.

      • Anonymous

        It most certainly is a disease–do your research.

        Of course, like Mitch Hedburg said, it’s probably the only disease you can get yelled at for having. “Dammit, Jim! You’re an alcoholic!” “Dammit, Jim! You have Lupis!”

      • Anonymous

        Even if addiction isn’t a disease, that doesn’t mean it’s a choice. Who consciously decides “I think I’m going to start drinking/doing drugs/[insert addiction here] so I can ruin my life and the lives of the people who love me”? My mother told me many years ago that everyone thinks they’re the ones who won’t get addicted, whether it’s booze, drugs, or cigarettes (everyone can name their own poison). God knows I thought that when I started smoking.

        These last two comments, by ccm800 and Alloy Jane, are shocking to me. I’d be willing to bet that every person here has been touched by addiction in some way, shape, or form. I’m thankful not everyone has these narrow-minded, destructive opinions.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

      I know everybody was on Team Bert the second his tragic, against-reality-tv-norms-aged, recovering self was shown in the ads for this season, but this episode started what I think is going to prove to be Bert’s true nature. He does think he’s above it all, and that this is just another sewing machine given to him by a rich lady friend who takes pity on him.

      I feel for the guy; losing loved ones to AIDS (I lost far too many in the 80s to mention, and I was just starting out then) and addiction are really difficult. But he seems to think he should pick up right where he left off, and unfortunately, where he left off doesn’t exist anymore. I think he’s going to get more above-it-all and meaner as he comes to realize this. 

    • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986 Judy S

      I am disappointed in Bert but I was disappointed last time, too. Not in what he produced–I think that if he had sent this out with a different attitude it would have gotten more praise from viewers, though not the top-3 status for which imagination + unwearability seems to have been a prerequisite. It is a heck of a lot better than Emilio’s pink string contraption; I think it deserved to be safe.   Nor do I see him as sneering, at least not more than some past contestants who have worked for big-name designers. If he were a cute young guy smirking, I think more of this “attitude” would be forgiven. I think it’s a lack of affect, of emotion and liveliness, that causes him to appear problematic. The reactions to the first part paired him with Peach, who was lively, motherly, and strongly emotional. I couldn’t see it then, and I think the new reaction has to do with realizing he is not cuddly and motherly at all. He is in fact rather reserved, which is unusual in a PR contestant. I suspect this comes from having had to deal with big issues in his life, including alcoholism, which destroyed the cheerful but anxious egoism of the young and lucky, who long for the judges to acclaim or correct them. He isn’t cheerful and he isn’t insecure or anxious, either. He is thoughtful and probably has a lot of faith in his own judgement, which so far I think is justified.
      I am cheering for him (as I think is true of the blog post above) because, while he may be a bit dull as a reality-show personality, he is very likely to show us some good clothes.

    • Anonymous

      This challenge would be a major challenge for someone whose ‘fashion must’ is good taste. I also get the impression Bert likes to produce something quickly so glueing a whole lot of crap onto muslin is something he’d avoid. Given he had immunity, I don’t blame him for playing to his strengths and trying to make something simple and elegant, not that I thought the end result was all that great. I wish he’d dyed the netting black, gone with one short ruffle, and trimmed it with the cat collars (or whatever those were hanging from the top when Tim gave his critique). 

      I hope Bert hasn’t pissed the judges off completely and sticks around for more than just the next episode as I’d like to see his designs more than most of the others’, given what we’ve seen already. He seemed to be the favorite of many on the first episode and quickly dropped out of favor on the second, including with me to some extent, but I remember Mondo having a bit of an attitude on one episode and coming good after that. At 57, it’s going to be more difficult to fit in anyways. The Queen Mum was supposed to indulge a glass or two (and more, if the reported 70 units a week is correct) and seemed to retain her popularity until her death at 101 so there’s hope for Bert.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T24URKJGBLJQPBWCRPU37IIHLU Krab Louse

      I wonder if the Queen is trying to get aufed?

    • Anonymous

      I hope Bert can turn the Love Train back around in his direction next week.  I was surprised that he just blew this one off.  Although his was better than some.  Less *is* more sometimes.  Perhaps next week will be better.  When do the previews of coming bitchery…er I mean attractions come out?

    • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986 Judy S

      Perhaps his nickname should be changed from Queen Mum to the Pique Dame.

    • Anonymous

      You guys are the best. No other blog I read can make me laugh out loud like yours does.  I look forward to all your new entries every day.
      You are a bright spot in my computer life.

       

    • Anonymous

      His attitude was really terrible and he may have irrevocably damaged his chances going forward.  But the dress wasn’t that bad.  It was cute and actually looked like clothes.  And the styling did look modern, given that it was about as minimal as could be which for him is a good thing.  He missed a great opportunity.  But there were worse things on that runway.  But yeah, he didn’t really use anything “unconventional” in making the dress so major points off for that I suppose. 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T53WBEPGJZ7MMMZC4O563YU5HA Observer

      Bitch must not be getting any; I could make that and I don’t sew and have the creative ability of a Dollar Store shelf stocker. Take that back the stocker has more.

      • http://twitter.com/drnels Nels P. Highberg

        “Not getting any” happens when your spouse/partner dies.

    • vmcdanie

      I almost fell out of my chair when he started sneering when they were in the pet store that he doesn’t make costumes and whatevs, he has immunity. There is no way he’s that unfamiliar with the show (what a shame he wasn’t on in whatever season that was-6?-when every challenge boiled down to make a pretty dress with some shit from Mood.) Not only did he hurt himself in the eyes of the judges, I think the viewers aren’t rooting for him quite as much. As you say, it’s not promising when someone gets shitty before things really get shitty.

    • Anonymous

      Dear Bert–

      A queen must always have plenty of attitude.  Just not BAD attitude. With what you did this week, you let yourself down and you let a whole lot of your fans out here–people wearing Virtual ScottyF Original Bert Tee Shirts, for cryin’ out loud–down too. And now you have a target on your back. The judges are gunning for you, Bert, so please get over yourself, get down, get with it, and make some fabulous clothes.  Because if the judges sniff even the slightest odor of failure in what you do this week, the Queen is dead.

    • Lynn Landry

      I just had to go change my Depends after reading that!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MVI43MVYAMRZMR6AP75D77CSBQ Anonymous

      I am, let’s just say, not exactly dead center in terms of your target demographic.

      I’m a late middle aged straight guy living in flyover country who doesn’t know fashion design from nuclear engineering. Well, except that one of them has the potential to destroy the planet and the other has to do with splitting atoms.

      And while some of my best friends yada yada yada, I pretty much disagree with your obvious politics, your east-coast point of view and your New Yawk attitudes among, I’m certain, many other things I don’t even know about.

      However, I have been a slavish devotee of your work for years now and I feel compelled to say that, as someone who is as emotionally uninvolved with all of this as it’s humanly possible to be – most of the time I have no Earthly idea who the people you mention even are –  you guys produce what is hands down one of the most literate, readable and utterly enjoyable blogs on the whole bloody interweb.

      While nobody hits a home run every time out, your stuff is regularly, even reliably, urbane, witty and fresh without the kind of trite, repetitious staleness which most bloggers almost inevitably fall prey to under the constant pressure of filling the blank page several times a day.

      True writing talent is incredibly rare, and a keen observational eye even more so. You guys possess both and, well, I just wanted to say so.

      Well done.

    • Anonymous

      Didnt he come on the australian project runway? and he crapped out because he couldnt make resort clothes? TLo you should check it out!