PR: Dog Blankets at the Clinique Counter

Posted on August 15, 2011

Y’know, if the judges had been in a slightly different mood, the whole Julie/Joshua pairing could have provided a primer on how to get through a team challenge.

Of all the teams, this one was the most mismatched. You’ve got the sporty gal on one side and the flamboyant queen on the other. How on earth could anyone make that pairing work? Well, apparently you simply give in to your partner at every turn and roll your eyes behind their back; quietly, so as not to disturb their sewing.

Julie, god bless her, came into this thing totally willing to work outside her aesthetic in order to get ahead. Josh encouraged her, but he was quite the snotty little bitch about it. So the lesson here is:

1) Shut up about what you’re used to doing and just do what’s being asked of you.

2) If you think your partner is a tool/loser/joke, do your best not to indicate such thoughts to them.

Are you writing this down, future contestants?

 

And while the result was hardly award-winning, it was a LOT better than we ever expected it to be.
In fact, it was – put your arm down, honey – it was a pretty decent blending of their styles. Oh, sure; it was far more Josh than Julie, but not because Josh lorded over her or bullied her. No, it was because Julie made an active effort to stick to Josh’s style over hers. After all, her dog blanket couture wouldn’t have worked on stilts.
You could even argue that – No, really. Put your arm down, dear – that those wacky pants are a rather brilliant way of translating Julie’s normal casual, sporty aesthetic into a more showy, theatrical Josh-like aesthetic.

It helps that the pants were pretty fabulously constructed. Other pants got major compliments from the judges, but these were the best of the lot, as far as we could tell.

The pants alone could have made them contenders, but alas, Miss Clinique Counter didn’t do a very good job of tamping down her more sparkly instincts…


And everything above the waist became an overwrought disaster.

They were never in contention for the win because the judges decided – without telling anyone, of course – that “costumes” were not what this challenge was about; an argument that becomes totally absurd when faced with a runway of ten foot tall women lurching drunkenly around to the cheers of a crowd. Fashion this is not, judges. And you know that.

But if Josh had met Julie halfway instead of automatically assuming that she was the one who was going to have to change her ways, this could have been a lot better. It looked to us like he spent a lot of time fussing over her and then threw together this ugly capelet with a ton of crap glued to it. A fitted ringmaster-style or matador-style jacket paired with those pants would have forced the judges to rethink their aversion to costumes, we think. After all, there was one very Emerald City/Tim Burton -style look in the Top 3, despite the judges’ preferences. Josh can bitch all he wants about how the judges only wanted ready-to-wear (which is a valid complaint), but had he done something even slightly less tacky and more structured than that top, he might have found himself in the Top 3, thanks mostly to Julie’s pants.

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke/MyLifetime.com – Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

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