Pairs Division: Chastain and Mirren

Posted on August 23, 2011

Darlings, it’s been so long since we’ve done a Pairs Division post! It’s been a long, dry summer on the red carpet.

Hit it, ladies:

Jessica Chastain and Helen Mirren attend “The Debt” screening at the Tribeca Grand Hotel. Jessica Chastain wears a Christian Dior dress and Helen Mirren wears Michael Kors.






Going left to right:

SHE: Obviously figured, “I’m playing a younger Helen Mirren, so I need to wrangle my tits and put them center stage!” The poor things look like they’re going to pop and fly around the room making farting noises. The skirt’s kind of cute, but foundation garment-inspired bustiers are kind of tired and we don’t like the minty green/sky blue color story at all. The hair’s okay, if a little “’80s lawyer” severe, but the eye makeup is atrocious and the ever-present silly putty pumps take the score on this one way down. We’ve seen just enough of her on the red carpet to declare her a gal in need of an intervention. She gets too many things wrong too consistently. Score: 4/10.

SHE: Obviously figured, “I’m Helen Mirren, so I need to wrangle my tits and put them center stage, but because I’ve been doing it longer than this chick has been alive, I know how to do it right.” And so she did. Now she needs a tutorial on dressing her lower half. We think she could have raised that skirt to knee level. We’d never ding a lady her age for wearing hose, but the combination of hose, a mid-calf hem, and too-busy shoes that she’s bursting out of are all combining to make her look quite bottom heavy. Helen, a  simple pump is an older gal’s best friend, assuming she wants to wear heels at all. These animal cage shoes are doing you a disservice, dear. Still, we like the dress and kind of love the sassy hair. Score: 7/10.

Combined score: 5.5/10. Helen, help the girl out and give her a tit tutorial. You both need a shoe tutorial.


Photo Credit: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images]

Tags: , , , , ,

  • Anonymous

    The combination of Helen’s hideous shoes and her even more hideous hem length is giving her cankles.  Everything else is fabulous, especially her hair.  The other woman, not so much.

    • Anonymous

      I think those might be real cankles and not just a visual faux pas.  Women of a certain age sometimes have a cankle issue, which is totally normal, if uncomfortable.  But those shoes are choking the life out of her feet, cankles or not.  And those hose are totally support hose, which are not attractive.  But still, if I pretend to not see anything below the knee, Helen is looking fantastic.  She truly does know how to put those girls front and center without them looking gaudy.

      • Anonymous

        yes, they are real cankles. I know whereof I speak. But if she didn’t have them she would be too painfully perfect.

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

        Helen is quite heavy in the lower leg and ankle area. It’s usually not so obvious but these shoes and the hem length combine to show it off. As for putting the girls front and center, she needs a much better bra. They’re very droopy.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EYYAY25W7VS5BYCOCTK62SSUBI tw125

          The girls are exactly where they’re supposed to be. The top is pulling though. A minimizer bra might have helped with that but I can’t see why she’d want them minimized.

        • Anonymous

          Her boobs are right between her shoulders and her elbows, where they are supposed to be. 

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T24URKJGBLJQPBWCRPU37IIHLU Krab Louse

            Agree with your post and tw125.  Say, my boobs are meant to be between my shoulders and elbows?  I thought it was odd that mine hang past my elbows.  

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QCJEZMOV4VYMXC5WJALLZNYEB4 Mari Rose

    It hurts to look at Mirren’s feet and Chastain’s boobs. 

    • Anonymous

      Lol!! How true

  • Anna Vasquez

    Ooh! Ooh! Can we shorten “Shoe Tutorial” to “Shoetorial”? Because that would delight me. And, though Helen looks great from the neck up, that dress makes her look like a rather well-dressed office manager.

    • Anonymous

      I was thinking along those lines, thinking “tit tutorial” should really be “titorial.”  I mean, who has the kind of time to waste on separating words when you can jam them together into Shoetorial and Titorial?  ;-)

      • Anna Vasquez

        Kind of amazing how Helen Mirren’s boobs can look so sexy even completely covered up. I would totally switch teams for her.

        • Anonymous

          It is a lesson to us all to make sure we all have a well fitted bra!

    • http://twitter.com/londonpenguin Teresa MacDonald

      And can we shorten “Tit Tutorial” to “Titorial”?

  • Anonymous

    I agree with your critiques of Helen Mirren’s look, but I think she looks so beautiful in that dress that I would score her higher.  Jessica Chastain needs help from head to toe, starting with removing most of that absurdly heavy black eyeliner.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jude-Brown/1350939326 Jude Brown

      My theory: Jessica showed up on Lady Helen’s doorstep, naked and hysterical, 20 minutes before red carpet.

      Helen, taking pity on her, dug through some old trucks and found a longline bra and half slip from 1960 for poor Jessy.

      Which made it too late to take up the hem on her own dress. Jessica’s bare feet were torn up something awful from her barefoot run to
      Helen’s place, so Her Majesty gave her own tasteful pumps for the cause. And was stuck with some Payless sandals left by a granddaughter.

      Just a theory.

      • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

        Exaaa–ctly!

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BARN2K234KUKPF5RACXYEFZ4HI Maggie

        Agree but change 1960 to 1980. That dress is so 80s to me.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jude-Brown/1350939326 Jude Brown

          I respectfully disagree. Jessy is popping out of the longline bra because 1960 was pre basket-ball implants.

      • Anonymous

        HaHaHaHaHa…Great!

      • Suzanne Heist

        Yes! It looks like she was partly dressed and had to come running out of a fire or some such.

      • Anonymous

        LOVE THIS!!  And I think said granddaughter also left her black kohl stick, which Jessy also borrowed.  It’s bad enough that clueless 16 yr olds do this;  Jessica, who was gorgeous in The Help, should know better.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jude-Brown/1350939326 Jude Brown

          No, I believe that Jessy in her rush, grabbed up and lined her eyes with a black magic marker. In 3 seconds flat: ta dah!

  • http://profiles.google.com/angelarosesarno angela rose sarno

    okay, the lower half of the Dame ain’t so great, but boy, that Helen knows how to work it.  Bless her.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NMIFZ6A7BHP66M546AO77BWVQ4 Bonnie

      I like Dame Helen so much that I’m willing to give her a pass on the hem and shoes.  She still has “it” in spades!
      bitchybitchybitchy

      • Anonymous

        Yep, she gets a lifetime pass. Good lord, I’m not so sure I ever looked as good in that kind of dress as Helen does now.

        I would scrub her floors just to be near her.

  • Anonymous

    Okay, so…agreed that Helen needed to raise the hem and wear better shoes, but people. Her body looks better than Jessica’s. I’m not looking up the age difference, but it’s obvious that it isn’t a small one. How does this woman do it?? Bow the fuck down.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VJMQEBSJRUNQHEEWTXI5BCS6HI D J

      Helen Mirren is 66.
      Chastain is 30.

      Once you mentioned the age difference, I had to become the know-it-all nerd in school and look it up for you :D

    • http://twitter.com/asciident Melissa Della

      I know…more than twice her age, and more than twice as hot…damn, if only I could look that good when I’m 66.

  • Anonymous

    I’m sorry–is there someone standing next to Helen Mirren?

     

    • Anonymous

      Although I agree that Helen needs to raise her hem and lose those hideous shoes. 

    • Anonymous

      Although I agree that Helen needs to raise her hem and lose those hideous shoes. 

    • Now I am The Bee

      Ha-I said the same thing.  Who cares when Dame Helen is in the room?

  • Anonymous

    Oh, Helen those shoes are horrid and they’re giving you serious cankles. Dress length isn’t doing you any favors either. Love your JBF  hair. The other chick, I feel so bad for your boobs.

    • Anonymous

      what exactly are “cankles?”

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VJMQEBSJRUNQHEEWTXI5BCS6HI D J

        Cankles are super thick ankles, where it looks like the calf and foot attach with no narrowing on the way down. 

        • Anonymous

          I’ve heard this is why Hilary Clinton wears pants suits so often. 

          • Anonymous

            Yes, poor Hilary has some major cankles.

  • aussiegal77

    It’s so wrong that I’m staring at Helen’s tits and thinking bloody hell, those are amazing.  

    Agree – hem length is way and the shoes do Helen no justice.  I have no idea who this other chick is but I do know that I hate her eye make-up.  

  • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

    They should have switched shoes, honestly.  I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.  God, she’s fabulous.  But those shoes do not suit — for one thing, they look too small, so it seems to be cutting into her foot.  Never a pretty look.

  • Susan Crawford

    Love Dame Helen, but SO agree with T Lo that the low hemline, the nude hose and the shoes kill what would have been a 10/10.  Jessica Chastain – back away from the eyeliner pencil and come out with your boobs up!

  • Susan Crawford

    Love Dame Helen, but SO agree with T Lo that the low hemline, the nude hose and the shoes kill what would have been a 10/10.  Jessica Chastain – back away from the eyeliner pencil and come out with your boobs up!

  • Anonymous

    Poor Helen with the cankles.  I mean even your most glamorous babe can occasionally have that swelling down there if she hasn’t kept up with her water intake and has been sitting down for a while, but seriously, those shoes are doing her no favors.

  • Judy_J

    Helen looks fab from the waist up.  I love her hair, and her makeup makes her look fresh and youthful.  I do wish she’d shortened the skirt on that dress.  It really looks frumpy, especially with those gawd-awful shoes.  Jessica, bless her heart, has squeezed her poor tits into a bodice that appears to be two sizes too small. The buttermint color is not a good choice, either.

  • oohsparkley!

    I agreed with all your comments and yet I thought the grading was too harsh.  On second look, you’ve taken off points for some egregious faults.  So I agree with your scores afterall.  I can so see those balloons careening around the room making the farting noises!

  • Anonymous

    “The poor things look like they’re going to pop and fly around the room making farting noises.” Bwahahahahaa. thank you guys. but yeah, I instinctively hugged my tits protectively when I saw that pic.
    Love that red on Dame Helen – but her shins unnecessarily look like they belong to the actual Queen

  • Anonymous

    Helen looks so gorgeous from the waist up, but those shoes look like the old granny cotton shoes you used to be able to buy in Woolworth’s back in the late 1970s that make your feet look fat.  And don’t knock the hose – hose needs to make a comeback.  I’m so sick of bare legs!!

    The other chick – man, those bazoombas are a cup sized bigger than that bustier.  Ridiculous!  And horrid color.  And with beige shoes…..she gets a total 1 in my book.

    • Anonymous

      “And don’t knock the hose – hose needs to make a comeback.”

      Zippypie, I am so with you!  Especially on women of a certain age, and that includes Helen. And me. So believe me, I know what I’m talking about.

    • Anonymous

      And what the hell ever happened to normal cleavage? I’m so sick of this “falling out the top of the dress” cleavage. It’s just tacky.

      I think Jessica deserves a zero. She looks ridiculous. And even I, the lover of heavy black eyeliner, think that’s way too much make-up.

  • Anonymous

    My God, Helen looks so amazing from the HIPS up!  That dress is doing a whole lot for her, and her hair and makeup?  How DARE she look that good!  But TLo is on the money about the length of the dress and the terrible shoes. Take that skirt up 2 1/2 inches and put on a nice pump and you’ve got a 10/10.

    Next to la belle dame, the other one (what’s her name again?) pales to insignificance. Ho-hum. Completely forgettable. Except for the Bandaid Batter* shoes, which are so very, very wrong with this–or any!–outfit and cannot be forgotten, no matter how hard we try!  *All props to the person who used this fabulous term yesterday in describing the similar shoes of the uber-hiddy Rhianna Muppet carcass mess.

  • Anonymous

    Obviously Jessica was a victim of a drive-by Momsen eye incident.  No one in their right mind would look at themselves in the mirror and think Momsen eye is a good idea unless forced to do so under duress.  The assailant was probably the same one who applied that boob torture.  That just looks painful.  I also didn’t realize that dress was green/blue until it was pointed out.  I just thought it was a white dress under bad lighting, a dress that is two sizes too small.

    Helen looks smashing except for the cankles, and ladies of a certain age can’t help being plagued by cankles.  They can avoid bad shoes, though, and support hose that look like support hose.  But these are minor quibbles in comparison to the overall look.  Bow down before her, we should all be so lucky to be her age and look that sexy and fantastic.

     

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000060490093 Anita Freiler Palmer

      Here’s another shot of Helen and her shoes…
       http://gofugyourself.com/well-played-helen-mirren-3-08-2011

  • Aly Light

    The silly putty pumps plus lack of accessories really make Jessica Chastain look like she’s half-dressed– like another dress will be put on over this one, and then she’ll put on her shoes and such. Looking like this, I picture her at a fitting, waiting for the dress to come out.

  • Anonymous

    I like the way they switched up the red-and-white combo with their hair and dresses. Do you think the studio made them do that?

  • Anonymous

    Queen Helen of Fuckinfantastica gets extra points for that face, make up, hair and body at 66. I’m starting her out at a 15. So with your point deduction for the shoes and lower half, she’s still 2 points above normally well-dressed human.

  • Anonymous

    Queen Helen of Fuckinfantastica gets extra points for that face, make up, hair and body at 66. I’m starting her out at a 15. So with your point deduction for the shoes and lower half, she’s still 2 points above normally well-dressed human.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=615187474 Trish Barker

    Jessica looks rather stiff and uncomfortable, and Helen looks like she’s having a fab time — obviously Jessica knows she needs help and Helen knows she’s workin’ it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=615187474 Trish Barker

    Jessica looks rather stiff and uncomfortable, and Helen looks like she’s having a fab time — obviously Jessica knows she needs help and Helen knows she’s workin’ it.

  • Anonymous

    Souldn’t the House of Dior be embarrassed to put Jessica in a dress that appears to be two sizes too small? This dress looks hideous and can do nothing but give the maker a bad name.

    • margaret meyers

      I must have missed the Dior part.  That’s a Dior day look?  Yeesh.
      Kors isn’t blazing any new territory, but he knows how to make a woman look good.

      • Anonymous

        And in the end…..isn’t that really the point?

  • http://twitter.com/asciident Melissa Della

    Hate Dame Helen’s shoes, and wish the skirt was hemmed 2 inches higher. But from knees up she looks amazing as usual.
    I don’t even know who Jessica Chastain is so I guess I’m out of the loop there, but her tits look painful.

  • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karenlibrarian

    Love Helen but I agree, the skirt lengthy looks too matronly for a hot gal like her.  However, all is forgiven with Dame Helen.  Jessica Chastain looks like she’s being tortured.  Please, when will the silly putty pumps trend be OVER?   I just hate them.

  • Christine Marie

    Helen looks hot, minus the part of her leg you can see. And those horrible shoes

    Poor Jessica. I like her so I wanted to like her outfit. But I just can’t. Morals, you know. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.parker Sara Parker

    I would have dinged Dame Helen more heavily for the lower-half– she looks like she has cankles.

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com Nancy Abrams

      She does have cankles. How can you ding someone for a body part they can’t change? What you can ding, however, is how she dresses that body part.

      • Anonymous

        I agree with you Nancy, and I agree with TLo’s spot-on score.  Helen should have gone with medium to sheer black hose and a high black suede pump.  But from the knees up she is incredible.  

        Chastain does need an intervention.  Her look was wrong on every possible level.  It’s not easy to make a beautiful woman look that bad.

  • MilaXX

    Guess I’m feeling generous. I don’t mind Jessica’s dress at all, but I think the eye makeup is a bit heavy for such a light look & the hair is a bit blah. This was definitely not the outfit to bust out the nudes shoes with. 5.5/10
    Helen looks fine, and I don’t mind the shoes, but the hem most definitely needs to be raised to knee length. 7/10

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BARN2K234KUKPF5RACXYEFZ4HI Maggie

    Is Jessica wearing a Gunne Sax dress from 1984 that’s a size too small? Is that what my eyes are seeing? Make it stop. And the eye makeup… all the elements of this look are from someone else’s outfit. The shoes, the hair, the makeup… Yikes.
    I don’t like Helen’s shoes but she has a better body than me and I’m 23. I can’t hate her.

  • Anonymous

    Agreed on all counts, nothing more to add. But did you see both of them in the September InStyle? Was hoping you’d post about Helen, at least.

  • margaret meyers

    That is an excellent analysis of what Helen is doing wrong below the knees.  I hope she reads this beause she is smashing and I want her to be perfect.

  • Anonymous

    It’s true that the bustier is too stiff, but other than that I think she looks lovely, including her eyes.

  • margaret meyers

    That carpet is so nasty I would only wear wellies there. 

  • Anonymous

    Ms. Chastain or her stylist have color issues. Pastel blue & green is not a good combo outside of infant layettes & those shoes are the wrong color for the dress, her skin tone, and, really, the carpet as well. Plus, racoon eyes. Your score seems harsh at first, but stands: 5/10.

    Ms. Mirren gets points off for the shoes, but that is all. With a better shoe, she could have raised the hem a bit, but she wouldn’t have to do so urgently. 8/10

    And I really want to give  Ms. Mirren bonus points because (what appears to be) entirely own hair looks as good or better than the hair of a woman 36 years her junior who has lovely hair. But I will restrain myself.

    7.5/10 overall.

  • Anonymous

    Helen looks fab…red suits her.  The shoes are too much and the hem too long…legs look stumpy and like she has cankles.  She does look bottom heavy.  8/10

    The other one…exploding boobs, heavy eyeliner and nude pumps..ack!  4/10 seems right.   

  • Anonymous

    Oh, and my opinion on the cankles: I just assume she does have them no matter what shoes/hem she chooses – she’s 66 and the body does what it will. Sometimes they’re there, no matter how much we exercise, eschew salt, and put our feet up.

    But the shoes/hem length emphasize them.

    • Anonymous

      I’m glad you said it this way. So true…so true.

  • Anonymous

    Did Jessica leave her shirt at the hotel?

  • Anonymous

    I want the name of whoever did Mirren’s face and neck work. It is natural looking.  Hard to find a good surgeon like that.
     

  • Anonymous

    The Dame looks so good in the last two photos that I am in awe.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know a thing about Jessica other than this picture.  But the whole look just screams “extra in Moulin Rouge!” to me.  Ick.

  • Anonymous

    Helen Mirren looks amazing. I see your points about the hem and the shoes, but you can’t fault a lady for wanting some sparkle on her feet.

    Whatsherface is wearing what looks to be a shorter version of that corset Keira Knightley’s been bursting out of in those “A Dangerous Method” trailers. Which is to say, oh HONEY.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, That really is good Helen-Hair…she is faboo, but that hem could’ve come up a couple of inches. The other – meh…what TLo said.

  • Anonymous

    Helen could easily fix her outfit to make it omgawamzing.  still in swaddling clothes needs to go home & try again

  • Anonymous

    Dame Helen’s spectacular rack and hair that is bordering on a saucy JBF’d look for the win!

  • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

    early 60s longline bra attached to kitchen curtains from grant’s department store.

    HM coulda shoulda shortened the dress & changed the shoes but maybe she’s simply a bit weary.

  • http://wipgirl.wordpress.com/ kristel

    I wanted to chastise you for the 7 given to Helen Mirren because my look-over revealed no imperfections, but… then I read what you’d said, scrolled back up, and can only agree. She looks great on the top half, but those shoes are atrocious and the hem length is awful. Sigh. (Guess that’s why I don’t have a fashion blog…) 

  • Anonymous

    Oh, see, just looking at the photos I took it that they were playing with colors deliberately — a redhead in a white dress next to her older white-haired self in a red dress.

  • Anonymous

    Whatevs on the shoe comment – Ms. Helen is fantabulous.

    Jessica reminds me of the photo in the Webster’s dictionary that accompanies the entry for “arms akimbo.”  It ain’t the boobs that get me so much as the Wonder Woman pose.

  • Mary McClelland

    haha! I loved your commentary on this! 

  • Valerie Owens

    Dame Helen is fab – the other girl, whatever. Love your description of her boobs.  Totally made me laugh!

  • Valerie Owens

    Dame Helen is fab – the other girl, whatever. Love your description of her boobs.  Totally made me laugh!

  • Anonymous

    Helen Mirren is one foxy dame!  Even with the slightly too long dress – I could only dream of looking as good as her!

  • http://twitter.com/vintagesewing VFL Miss Helenes

    I want that dress.  And Helen Mirren’s body.

    • Anonymous

      /sigh/ Me too, on both counts.

  • Anonymous

    The girls are  halfway down her upper arm in perfect position  – not wrangled.

  • Now I am The Bee

    I am absolutely in love with Dame Helen, but she does suffer from the British Thick Ankle Syndrome, the poor dear.  So I agree those hiddy shoes are not helping one bit.  I don’t mind the skirt length so much, but the camera angle is also not flattering.   She is rocking that dress though. 
    Oh–is there someone else standing near Helen? 

  • Anonymous

    Ah, Queen Helen of Fanfuckingtastica. Look at that hair. And that make-up. And those boobs. And that gorgeous smile. Who cares if her dress is a little too long?

  • Anonymous

    Helen has a hell of a rack, but those shoes just make me cringe in pain.  Helen, you are the queen of fuckingfantastica, no need for such crappy shoes squeezing your poor swollen feet honey.The other one, horrible dress.  Looks like she forgot to put her actual dress over whatever she has on.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve never understood what you guys have against hosiery.

  • http://twitter.com/Athenabast Athena Bast

    Maybe a Titorial?

  • Anonymous

    That’s so funny, because before I read your text and just looked at the pictures, I declared that Mirren’s boobs looked far sexier than her younger companion’s. I hope mine look that good when I’m her age.

  • Anonymous

    …that would be a titorial, wouldn’t it?  I think that’s suppose to be a new garment that gives a constant mammogram while you pole dance for your movie.  I feel like I’m having a mammogram just looking at her.

    Helen looks like a million damn dollars until we get past the knee.  Then she looks like my Gram who has a severe swelling disorder (poor Gram…bless’er heart).  4 inches off that hem, please and give away those fugly shoes!

  • Patricia Biswanger

    Helen starts out, at the top, as a ten, and then deteriorates and you work your way down the outfit.  Skirt’s too long, shoes hideous.  What a shame.

  • Anonymous

    QUEEN Helen. Awesome dress. Horrid shoes and shiny legs. As far as Miss Chestain goes, I went to see “The Tree of Life” this summer in London at a little art house and I am not lying: she was co-starring in ALL four movies previewed in the coming attractions. Who is she? Who’s her agent? Talk about WERQ!

  • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

    They could actually improve their outfits by swapping shoes. It wouldn’t make the shoes any less ugly (and GRACIOUS are they ugly), but better suited perhaps.

  • Anonymous

    I’d never notice how stubby Helen’s legs look.  She looks too good from the waist up to have such dowdy looking legs in this picture.  SO totally agree that the length of the skirt and the shoes are just wrong

  • http://profiles.google.com/withano Loren S

    Tit tutorial.  A titorial?

  • sonictofu

    I think they both look gorge!  Agreed on the shoe intervention though.

  • Anonymous

    I’m still laughing! You boys totally nailed it! Jessica looks terrible head to toe! Helen keeps showing us why she is still the queen! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/suzie.vazquez Suzie Vazquez

     You should do a post some day of “better shoe options” for the gals whose shoes you despised w/ their great dresses.

  • https://profiles.google.com/104791269167429064986?tab=h Judy S

    Spot-on analysis of Mirren and hilarious if a bit cruel poke at Chastain, who I think looks pretty good.

  • Anonymous

    She is still Queen Helen of Fan-fucking-tastica, but yeah, the combination of hem and shoe is less than optimal.  I’d still give my eye teeth too look and dress as well as she does, at any age.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_C65IT4K6RYN4TWRMFJOI3VUDAI Olechka Milashka

    agree with you on all counts!

  • Michelle Buenzli

    Seriously! I don’t care WHO made Dame Helen’s dress, WHO MADE HER BRA????? Please find out TLo, for the sake of the girls everywhere!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1248212910 Jessie Melcher Brown

    Helen could consider pants for the red carpet.  They would hide any cankle issues when she is on her feet a long time, and you know she would do pants the right way.

  • Anonymous

    Helen is still the queen. I agree that the hem could be a tad higher, and I don’t like the shoes, but the first impression is SO 10 that I would never lower her all the way to 7.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CQPXLNCBM5CZSHZZXJDHPVFS7E Buffy

    Helen looks so fab I didn’t even notice the shoes.  Whatshername, on the other hand, is just sad all the way around.

  • http://twitter.com/wrenaria Kimmy Hescock

     Helen’s shoes and Jessica’s top both look like torture devices.

  • http://twitter.com/wrenaria Kimmy Hescock

     Helen’s shoes and Jessica’s top both look like torture devices.

  • Anonymous

    I have to agree with the scores here.  I say ‘have to’ because there are so many things to love about HM’s look here!  Love her in red!  Love her hair! Love the dress!  But then it’s the support hose and ugly sandals and, well, yuck, even my deep HM love can’t overcome it.

    Who even notices the other woman with HM in the pic?  Eh, give her whatever score you want, she’s wearing nude pumps, gaaa

  • Anonymous

    I have to agree with the scores here.  I say ‘have to’ because there are so many things to love about HM’s look here!  Love her in red!  Love her hair! Love the dress!  But then it’s the support hose and ugly sandals and, well, yuck, even my deep HM love can’t overcome it.

    Who even notices the other woman with HM in the pic?  Eh, give her whatever score you want, she’s wearing nude pumps, gaaa

  • Anonymous

    Jessica is my new favorite actress and is absolutely stunning.  The boobs are squished though, true.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T24URKJGBLJQPBWCRPU37IIHLU Krab Louse

    That bustier is about one size too small around the waist and the cups are about 3 sizes too small.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Love Dame Helen’s hair.  Dress is okay, but agree about the length.  Shoes are meh.

    Boobs Chastain is just plain out.  Bustin’ out, you might say.