We are all for pants on women, darlings. And if this was 1940, we’d be very proud of ourselves for being so forward-thinking and open-minded. The fact that one can still make a statement like that over 70 years later is a bit depressing, but a discussion of gender-specific cultural mores and how they shift far slower than they should is perhaps a discussion for a weightier blog than this.
We’re talking specifically about the red carpet, where, for the longest time, pants were largely considered a no, unless you were an out lesbian. That’s the hilarious (or sad, depending on your perspective) thing about Hollywood; for all the attention it gets as a bastion of liberal thinking and sybaritic lifestyles, they can be positively Victorian when it comes to gender and sexuality. The whole pants things has been shifting quite a bit lately and while you’ll still be far less likely to see a gal rocking the pants at, say, the Oscars, they seem to be showing up more at the B to D List events that make up the bulk of the celebrity public appearance calendar.
There’s your lead-in, minions. And now… pictures:
Oh Christ, are we gonna have to tell the girls to get their hands out of their pockets now?
We think if you shove your hands deep in your pockets, shrug your shoulders, and cross your legs just like the model is doing, then this looks really cute. Unfortunately, Rachel has to walk and move in this outfit and it’s not quite so cute then. Love the print on the blouse and love the color of the pants. But the cut of the pants coupled with a tucked-in blouse and no belt kind of makes her preternaturally tiny waist just disappear and turn her into a straight line, up and down. She’s got no shape in this thing at all. We’d probably have a stronger opinion on pairing animal print shoes with such a colorful and busy ensemble, but it doesn’t even matter because once you establish that the outfit obliterates her natural shape, it’s a foregone conclusion (at least in our heads) that the outfit isn’t working. Sure, we could discuss hair and makeup and accessories (boring purse looks like a laptop), but that would be ignoring the elephant in the room: she’s got the body of a 12 year old boy in this getup. We’re not suggesting every outfit should be tight and body-conscious and in fact, we can tell from looking at the model that this getup isn’t really supposed to be either. But we do think the fit and the cut are not working to Rachel’s benefit. Just a slim black belt around the waist would have gone so far in defining it for her.
Oh, and we have to say it: the hair’s kinda bad.
IN! Sometimes a gal likes to play a little pocket pool, bitches!
OUT! Pants are the work of the DEVIL! Especially when they make you look like a boy.
[Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images, style.com]