Sweet Jesus, we don’t think we’ve ever been so disappointed by a man on the red carpet. This is a man who normally looks like he stepped right off the cover of a romance novel; all square jaw, big pecs and lustrous hair. And he’s having quite the year, what with the success of Game of Thrones and now the release of his first big movie. We were titillated by the thought of him in some ridiculously chic and well-tailored suit, showing off everything god, the gym and possibly some surgeons gave him.
Jason Momoa attends the world premiere of ‘Conan The Barbarian’ in Los Angeles.
Instead he showed up looking like this.
Okay, first off: why on earth, if you’ve been blessed with dreamy eyes and can work the shoulder length hair like only .01% of the male population truly can, would you hide those two assets by showing up in a pair of yellow-lensed glasses and a pony tail? That alone pushes this firmly into OUT territory, but we’ll continue the assessment anyway.
We’re ready to declare a moratorium on grey suits for the red carpet. They’re the male equivalent of the nude shoe. There’s nothing wrong with a grey suit; in fact, it’s our favorite color of suit. But on the red carpet, it tends to look a little business-y. It doesn’t really give you that sense of the dramatic. Grey suits are for fitting in or fading into the background, not for standing in front of a wall of photographers ready to kill a puppy to get a picture of you; not for your moment in the sun.
We don’t mind the unbuttoned shirt with the necklace. It’s not a look most men could pull off, but the combination of his Hawaiian ancestry and spectacular pecs make it work for him. We would not advise any man to go out in a suit with at least 3 buttons of his shirt undone, but if you look like this, you can get away with it.
What bothers us more is the way this suit pulls and puddles around him. You can afford a tailor, Jason. You have the body. If you absolutely must wear clothes in public (and it’s not our preference for you, that’s for sure), then you owe it to that amazing ass to swaddle it in the very best of clothes. Also, get rid of the 4 yards of dusty rose fabric you stuffed into your jacket pocket.
Oh, and shave off the landing strip. Ew.
IN! I LOVE it when a sex god tries to look like an accountant!
OUT! Conan the Librarian.
In other Minion Opinion news, Miss Olivia Wilde’s Sisters of the Perpetual Side Boob dress won an IN from the commentariat, which pleases T Lo greatly.
[Photo Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images]