Leave it to those colorful Flying Grimaldis to give the world a royal wedding with enough delicious rumors to fill an entire season of Dynasty. From illegitimate children to confiscated passports, this endeavor could have used a couple fights in a fountain and more shoulderpads, but all in all, we give it a bitchtastic double thumbs up. We CAN’T WAIT for the inevitable Lifetime movie! Starring Dianna Agron and Neil Patrick Harris! Because Charlize Theron and Russell Crowe were too expensive!
Hit it, you sweaty little family of chain-smoking carnies!
Princess Charlene of Monaco and Prince Albert II of Monaco during the religious ceremony of the Royal Wedding, in the main courtyard at Prince’s Palace in Monaco. The Princess is wearing an Armani Privé gown of more than 140 yards of different silks, 40,000 Swarovski crystals, 20,000 mother of pearl beads, and a 15-foot train, with a diamond spray tiara.
If we must make comparisons (and lets face it; we must), we think this is a prettier gown than Duchess Cathy’s. Strangely, it doesn’t seem to fit her as well as it should, especially in the bust. Perhaps all those daring late-night escape attempts and chase scenes through French airports (on an empty stomach, because who can eat when their fiance keeps spewing the royal sperm all over Europe?) caused a sudden drop in weight and there wasn’t time to do a refitting because she’d been locked in a dungeon somewhere and wasn’t cooperating. Perhaps. We’re only speculating here.
At any rate, it’s pretty. We sniff at some of the showier details, like the diamonds in her hair, but what the hell; a girl’s gotta grab some bling for herself if she wants to be a princess; right? And since “Princess Charlene” sounds like the title of a Judith Krantz novel, she might as well look the part.
[Photo Credit: Getty]