Darlings, we feel as if we’ve presided over an epic red carpet tale that has unexpectedly ended in tragedy. Rosie-Huntington-Whitely has spent the summer making the most of Megan Fox’s bad attitude and running all over the world looking spectacular on red carpets in her place. We had some quibbles with some of her looks but it’s mostly been huzzahs from our corner.
Until now. We suggest you brace yourselves, darlings. This isn’t going to be pretty.
In honor of the late, great Madeline Kahn… “Boobs! Boobs on the side of your dress!”
What special dress-making magic was employed to turn this taut, 20-something model/actress into an 80-year-old from the neck down? An 80-year old who has decided 65+ years of foundation garments are quite enough for her? Rosie, honey, as your self-appointed gays, it pains us to say this, but your tits apparently don’t like each other.
What has happened here, kittens? How does someone leave their hotel room in this getup and think they’re ready to have their picture taken? Hysterical blindness? Temporary insanity? A crazed struggling designer is holding someone from her family hostage and forcing her to wear this Project Runway reject?
It’s like everything we hate in one dress: drab, shiny, wrinkly, and adds 60 years to her body. Honey, you need to set that stylist on fire.
IN! I’m voting with my eyes closed, just for fun!
OUT! “Fire” her stylist?! She needs to shove that queen out of a plane!
The Minion Opinion on Hilary Swank’s bottom-heavy summer look was IN, which surprised us because we thought the voting was heading in the other direction.
[Jun Sato/Getty Images]