Pairs Division: Pinault and Hayek

Posted on June 02, 2011

Poodles, isn’t it time we started focusing on the very rich, as well as the famous? Don’t the very rich deserve a little time in the sun? Don’t the very rich deserve our bitchery? Well, no. You know why? The very rich are boring as hell. They only become interesting when they start having sex with celebrities. Celebrities are magical and contact with their genitals will make even the dullest person exciting.

Francois-Henri Pinault and Salma Hayek attend the ‘Il Mondo Vi Appartiene’ dinner in Venice, Italy. Salma Hayek is wearing a Gucci dress.

 

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HE: Looks like a very wealthy businessman in a very expensive suit. Seriously, what’s to criticize? He looks fine; he looks like he’s supposed to look. Score: 9/10

SHE: Looks like a trophy wife. Maybe that’s not fair considering she’s only 3 or 4 years younger than him and “trophy wife” tends to imply a greater divide, but she looks so polished and perfectly put together in that “I’m here to support Big Daddy Black Card my husband, who is so much more important than I am.”  Objectively, we think she looks pretty, but the whole getup makes her look like a Mexican Cindy McCain, which, admittedly, is a deliciously ironic picture to paint, but let’s not go there. Everything is pretty and looks great on her, but the fact that everything matches exactly takes her into Barbie/political wife territory and we have to take a few points off for that. Score: 7.5/10. Maybe a contrasting jacket or purse next time, mkay? And zhuzh up the hair a bit, hon. It’s looking a bit like an oil slick up there.

Combined score: 8.25/10. Despite our bitchery, we think they make a striking couple. We just wish she hadn’t defaulted to the “CEO’s wifey” uniform.

 

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage]

    • Anonymous

      I love it when my knee jerk reaction is validated by TLo. My first thought “How does someone so successful in her own right end up looking like a beautiful trophy wife fighting to stay on the right side of zaftig?”

      “a Mexican Cindy McCain” = genius

      • Anonymous

        @formerlyAnon, “fighting to stay on the right side of zaftig?” I hope you don’t mean “plump”. If she’s plump, the rest of us should just kill ourselves.

        • Anonymous

          *I* don’t mean plump, though zaftig to me means that look that women of generous and proportional bust, hips & ass get when they are no longer bone thin. I think zaftig is sexy, though it’s hard to dress & therefore I’m betting Ms. Hayek does work to stay on the thin side of zaftig.  Depending on your perspective zaftig might mean ‘built like a brick —house,’ ‘healthy’ or worse than plump (isn’t it Karl Lagerfield who finds certain models ‘fat’?).

          For me, the wrong side of zaftig is matronly – even a young woman can go there if she is a generous hourglass shape and puts on even a small amount of weight past the tipping point.

          And I don’t think Ms. Hayek is zaftig, I think she’s as close to bone thin as is healthy for her build.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R34D3TG5XAEKM6C2KWJG73V27M Laura

      I think that dress is sweet!  She looks sexy.  I love it.  I don’t even mind the matchy matchy shrug.

    • Vaniljekjeks

      Have to give her credit, the dress fits her perfectly.  As a woman with big boobs, big butt, and tiny waist, I know how bloody difficult that can be.   Yes, she does look a bit barbie, but I am having dress-fit envy here! 

    • http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd

      “a Mexican Cindy McCain”

      Huh. Her look struck me as more of a Lebanese Cindy McCain and it is a fricking fabulous look.

    • Anonymous

      hello boobs

    • bookish

      That dress is too tight and boobalicious for her to look like a political wife. The color is really beautiful.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=502834383 Jennifer Marie Wegmann-Gabb

        My thoughts exactly.  Politics might be more interesting if political wives started dressing like celebrities.  Although, there might be less affairs, and what would the news channels do without those.

    • http://profiles.google.com/urbangypsyt Tess D

      When your ass looks like that in a dress, I’m going to have to give her a 9, not that my vote counts for much, but damn. She’s been my body image idol forever, so I find it hard to critique her. I mean look at that woman! Boobs, butt, tiny waist, no tummy and a gorgeous face on top of it all. Oh Salma, I’ll take you –  even in your less than stellar matchy-match glory.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, dear we know your boobs are spectacular. Tuck the girls away every now and then, okay? Even with all the matchy matchy she looks fabulous, if a little “Mexican Cindy McCain”. But better.

    • Judy_J

      She does indeed look like a trophy wife, and he looks like he’s happy to have that bit of arm candy by his side.  The little cardigan sweater takes the dress out of va-va-voom land and plants it in uber-rich society matron territory.

    • mcarlson

      I think she looks fabulous. She looks like she just wanted to be Mrs. Pinault, not Selma Hayak, Mega-star and Beautiful Goddess.

    • Anonymous

      I think she looks amazing!

    • Anonymous

      9/10 for him?!  Sure it’s undoubtedly an expensive suit and fits him well…but boring as all hell!   At the very least he could have put on a more festive tie for a social function.  He is equally guilty, in comparison to her, in making her appear to be a trophy by dressing soooo conservatively. 7/10

      I do love the trophy wife analogy, so true, although she really does look lovely.  Perhaps too perfect.  had she gone softer or bigger hair with that dress…she’d have looked cheap.  I think the sleek do was required for such a va-va-va-voom dress to add some sophistication.  I also agree about too much matchy matchy with the clutch/shoes too.  TLo was a bit too harsh with their marks, so I’ll go 8/10…overall lovely with minor nitpicks. 

      Combined 7.5/10

    • Anonymous

      She does look a bit like she’s dressed for a role in an Almodovar movie. But it seems like no matter what, she’s just so freakin’ sexy.

    • lilibetp

      She’s still the most beautiful woman in the world.

    • Anonymous

      I think she looks great.  The dress is stunning.  He looks boring.

      Is there really that small an age difference?  God, she looks like she could be his daughter!

      • Anonymous

        Yup, he just turned 49 and she’ll be 46 in September. I think it’s a combo of him aging badly and her not aging much at all that makes the age difference look greater than it is.

        • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

          I wouldn’t say he aged badly since he looks his age.  Other than a graying and receding hairline, his face is still relatively line-free.  He’s just not professionally attractive like Salma is.  Her career is based upon her looking like “Salma Hayek” so she has to take greater steps to maintain her looks. 

        • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

          I wouldn’t say he aged badly since he looks his age.  Other than a graying and receding hairline, his face is still relatively line-free.  He’s just not professionally attractive like Salma is.  Her career is based upon her looking like “Salma Hayek” so she has to take greater steps to maintain her looks. 

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MGEHU4GXT3CO6DDRHMRKD7HCNE Verlette

          Agreed. He looks waaay older than 49. And she looks fabulous.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MGEHU4GXT3CO6DDRHMRKD7HCNE Verlette

          Agreed. He looks waaay older than 49. And she looks fabulous.

    • Anonymous

      I totally disagree.  I think she looks 9/10 gorgeous!!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3KCDEX4FOTCFHZP6WLKSOOKUVM Danielle

      Only a 7.5?  Really?  Look at her – even with the matchy sweater and that annoying 1-strap, how can she be anything less than a 9 here?

    • Anonymous

      Trophy wife, schmophy wife.  I want to take that dress home and love it and hug it and make it my precious.  She looks fabulous.

    • http://profiles.google.com/angelarosesarno angela rose sarno

      Methinks TLo is grading on a curve again- puhlease, she could not look much better.  9.

    • Rand Ortega

      Wow. You 2 are Tough! I think she looks bewitching! Sexy & demure @ the same time. The clutch sends me. The dress is divine.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kati.irons Kati Irons

      Personally I think “trophy wife uniform” + “Salma Hayek’s smokin hot body” = a delightful irony that I find quite entertaining.   

    • MilaXX

      Can’t disagree with the commentary or the scores. I do wish Salma had added some pizzaz cause that a gorgeous color on her, but I understand the defaulting to supportive wife role. He just always looks like the crypt keeper to me despite there not being that big a gap in their ages.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      She is a bit matchy matchy, but still looks stunning.

    • Anonymous

      He’s okay.
      I don’t think she looks like a political wife at all. A trophy to be sure. But not a political one. She looks like(as does he) exactly what she is – a movie STAR.  Super hot Mexican Moviestar Actress wife. I give her at least a 9.9 if not a 10.

    • Anonymous

      Funny, before I read the critique, I thought TLo was going to give Hayek a WERQ award, because girlfriend is certainly working it in that tiny tiny outfit. I thought they both looked spectacular, even if she is a little matchy with everything. That dress is so sparkly that I like that everything else ties into it so the focus is on the dress rather than having to handle contrasting colors. Her breasts overwhelm me.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UCLO5V2YD36T7QMPKOC7YXPOFU Erica

      Methinks the problem with the trophy-wife look would have been solved if she’d simply worn her hair down.  Then, it would have been, hey, look at my knockout boobs, butt, AND hair!  Winning!

      • Anonymous

        Yes, my thought exactly. The hair looks like my Filipina grandmas used to wear when they went out, all teased and lacquered up. If it was not so controlled, then she’d have been utterly amazing.

    • Anonymous

      I think because Hayek does a lot of big glamour for red carpet/entertainment events, it is fine to dial it back when the occasion calls for it. I’d bump her up to an 8.5 or a 9. I am deducting points from Pinault for the totally boring shirt/tie combo. I know he is a businessman, but he could have upped the intensity in his outfit a tiny bit. So, I’m giving him a 7.5.

      I would also like to state that I would love to look like Hayek for just a week, or even a few days. I don’t think I could handle any more than that, but a taste of life in that body would be interesting for this tall gangly gal.

    • Anonymous

      Hm. I’m thinking she looks a little Desperate Housewives hooch here.

      –M

    • Anonymous

      Disagree. I think she looks like a billion bucks. It helps knowing Salma in her own right, and talent, intelligence and fierceness. With that lens she looks simply stunning and not trophy at all.

    • Anonymous

      Disagree. I think she looks like a billion bucks. It helps knowing Salma in her own right, and talent, intelligence and fierceness. With that lens she looks simply stunning and not trophy at all.

    • Anonymous

      Damn!  Look at that bod!  She looks great.  Much better than when she wears dresses or pantsuits or jumpsuits that just do not work with her height.  She is a tiny but curvy woman.  This suits her well.

    • Anonymous

      Damn!  Look at that bod!  She looks great.  Much better than when she wears dresses or pantsuits or jumpsuits that just do not work with her height.  She is a tiny but curvy woman.  This suits her well.

    • Anonymous

      Back off, Boys.  I think she looks fabulous.

    • Anonymous

      I think she looks Hot Hot Hot!!! The dress is gorgeous and fits her perfectly.

    • Anonymous

      I think she looks Hot Hot Hot!!! The dress is gorgeous and fits her perfectly.

    • Anonymous

      An “In” for me too, while I get the trophy wife and matchy-matchy critiques, she still looks fabulous and striking, and not in a sleazy or “look at ME” kind of way, I just imagined any one of the Housewives promo shots, tried to put Selma in the middle, and it was a big record scratch across my brain, so no, she doesn’t look like a trophy wife.

      He looks like a nice guy, though, I wonder if he is?

    • Anonymous

      An “In” for me too, while I get the trophy wife and matchy-matchy critiques, she still looks fabulous and striking, and not in a sleazy or “look at ME” kind of way, I just imagined any one of the Housewives promo shots, tried to put Selma in the middle, and it was a big record scratch across my brain, so no, she doesn’t look like a trophy wife.

      He looks like a nice guy, though, I wonder if he is?

    • Anonymous

      Which political wife have you ever seen wear a curve-hugging, sparkly dress that looks like scales from a distance – with stilettos, none the less?  I think you’re letting your distaste of color matching cloud your judgment here.  She looks HOT!!!

    • Anonymous

      Which political wife have you ever seen wear a curve-hugging, sparkly dress that looks like scales from a distance – with stilettos, none the less?  I think you’re letting your distaste of color matching cloud your judgment here.  She looks HOT!!!

      • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

        David Vitter’s wife wore a tight,leopard print wrap dress that showed off some serious cleavage when he gave his press conference about being on the DC Madame’s client list.  It was hilariously awesome.

    • Anonymous

      They both look great, that dress fits her like a glove!

    • Anonymous

      They both look great, that dress fits her like a glove!

    • Anonymous

      I think she looks gorgeous. That body in that dress! Holy shit. She could have stayed away from the matchy-matchy, but that’s a minor complaint when the woman looks that good.
      He has a face like a garden gnome, but hey. He’s rich!

    • Anonymous

      She does look like a trophy wife! The one that would buzz around her husband’s first wife, and then end up with a martini thrown at her.

    • Anonymous

      She does look like a trophy wife! The one that would buzz around her husband’s first wife, and then end up with a martini thrown at her.

    • Anonymous

      You know, when you push your boobs up, they need to be pushed up evenly. She is all lopsided.

      And your comments are hilarious!

    • Anonymous

      You know, when you push your boobs up, they need to be pushed up evenly. She is all lopsided.

      And your comments are hilarious!

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I’m assuming that this dinner was something for her husband?  In which case, I have no objection to the trophy wife dressing.  Her job here isn’t to be a fabulous and stylish celebrity, it’s to be a wife to a businessman.  I know I wear VERY different things to a party with friends than to a party for my husband’s office. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I’m assuming that this dinner was something for her husband?  In which case, I have no objection to the trophy wife dressing.  Her job here isn’t to be a fabulous and stylish celebrity, it’s to be a wife to a businessman.  I know I wear VERY different things to a party with friends than to a party for my husband’s office. 

    • Anonymous

      Harsh, boys.  She looks fabulous, no wonder he’s got that big grin on his face.

    • Anonymous

      Good LORD, that woman is fabulous in that dress. And c’mon — she’s doing my favorite thing by keeping her fingernails neutral and her toenails bright red. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/grandiva1968 e jerry powell

      I’d bang him.  I love me some corporate daddy.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve got to say, she looks really good notwithstanding the matchy matchy.  That dress fits her like a glove and I almost don’t mind the cardi.  I’m not going to fault her for having her hair under control.  All that having been said, my giving her a nine for a combined score of 9/10 is just a bitter kitten type of swat, non?

    • http://twitter.com/pinup_ghoul Pinup Ghoul

      I want that dress. I need something that is in-your-face glitzy, as in “literally covered in glitz”. She looks fabulous, as always. I think that she got this one absolutely right, especially if she lost that ill-fitting bolero! I do think that a less ‘updo!’ updo is more flattering, though. Something that would frame her face in a less totally put together way. This hair is too stiff and structural for her face shape, I think.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Her magnificent boobs look a little crooked here.

    • http://www.facebook.com/teresaec Teresa Enright Campbell

      I think she looks great, my complaint is the shrug altogether.  It looks like she realized that, “Hrmph!  It’s going to be breezy, grab some fabric, slap a seam in it and throw it over my shoulders” as she went out the door.  Hate it, doesn’t do anything for the rest of the look.  

    • Anonymous

      A political wife wishes she could look this good in a dress this tight.  The hair is a mess, but the dress is hot!

    • Anonymous

      No, no, no!  A man that boring doesn’t get a 9 just because he hasn’t committed a major offense.  2 points off just for not bothering to find and interesting tie. She’s a 10 all around. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

    • Anonymous

      I have long maintained she has the absolute best breasts in Hollywood.  Sofia Vargara is giving her a good run for the money but these gems? These gems are FABULOUS!  Yes, the hair could be a little looser but this is a more Euro crowd, not as keen on the sloppy American look.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Nestor.Chocolato NesTtor Chocolato

      u guys  are CRAZYYYYYY   she looks a 9 or 10

    • margaret meyers

      Sorry, but you guys are dinging her because she looks too good?  You need to ding people who need dinging, and leave this beautifully dressed woman alone.

    • Anonymous

      My first thought was, she looks like the hottest political wife ever! GMTA.

    • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

      NOT cindy mccain. NOBODY deserves that!!

      seriously–she looks nice–& he looks old enough to be her father. & he looks old enough to be my father. & she & i are not much younger than he is. so he isnt. anyway. just–strange. 

    • Anonymous

      Sorry, but I don’t think the rationale justifies the score for Salma.  Teeny -tiny mistakes aside, she still looks unbelievably gorgeous and glamorous.  Her husband lost more points with me just for being boring. But he does demonstrate absolutely perfect pants length, so maybe he deserves that 9…

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Gorgeous color on her. Didn’t know they are so close in age.  Thought he was at least a decade older.

    • Anonymous

      If SHE’S a 7.5 out of 10, the rest of us don’t stand a chance.

    • Lisa

      I’m torn – she looks great, but I do see your point about being a tad overdone.  Very “Karen from Will & Grace”.

    • Anonymous

      maybe she wanted to be that person that night so it could stay about her husband. suit is devine

    • akprincess72

      Her curves truly are amazing… I want to look like that!!!!

    • http://twitter.com/MarieanneDH MarieanneDH

      I should be such a 7.5.  She’s magnificent.

    • Anonymous

      Huh.  I disagree.  She looks unbelievably sexy – way too much cleavage to be a cookie-cutter wife.  She’s just a gorgeous woman.  She’s worn some unattractive things, but this one ain’t it.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=768540908 Badriya Al-Badi’a

      I’m loving the dress, but why on earth would anyone besides a Sarah Palin impersonator wear their hair like that?