Cover Boy: Ryan Reynolds for Entertainment Weekly

Posted on June 17, 2011

Darlings, if you’re in the midst of, or about to have your lunch, may we suggest the following? If you’re watching your figure, the resultant nausea should do nicely in helping you skip a meal.

Entertainment Weekly takes the phrase “celebrity tongue bath” to a whole new level:

“In this week’s cover story, “Why I’m Obsessed with Ryan Reynolds, by Ryan Reynolds,” the 34-year-old star of Green Lantern plumbs the depths of Ryan Reynolds’ soul. He writes about the actor’s boyhood in Canada (“He spent a great deal of time with his older brothers and, in turn, his brothers were very close to him. Usually within striking distance”). He remembers his first crush (her name was Finona Gorchinsky and she broke Reynolds’s heart — and nearly his neck — during a school bus ride in the eighth grade). And he celebrates his unwavering commitment to environmental issues (“But Reynolds is also careful not to get too self-righteous, and is not one of those finger-wagging celebrities telling you how to live your life. He prefers to put the word out quietly, through the exciting mediums of interpretive dance and Japanese hand fans”).

We don’t usually allow actors to write their own profiles, but hey, what can we say. We’re a little obsessed with Ryan Reynolds, too.”

Oh sure, tongue in cheek, sense of humor, yaddayaddayadda. But come ON:

Entertainment Weekly is living up to its abbreviation with this one.

EW.

 

[Photo Credit: ew.com]

    • Anonymous

      Well don’t forget that EW is a Time Warner mag, which has an interest in helping promote Green Lantern. 

    • Anonymous

      That cover is pretty hilarious. I’ll be getting this issue in the mail today, so we’ll see if I can make it through the whole interview. I’m not Reynolds fan (not a detractor either), but i’m interested to see how this interview plays out.

    • http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

      I watched him on Conan and he’s very funny.  He’s charming and handsome and has a great sense of humor.  I think it works.

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      I actually find that kinda hilarious.  Mostly because it seems like a Ryan Reynolds thing to do.  This is the kind of thing I could see him thinking was funny. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

      Though I still think Reynolds should have done a Deadpool movie, and let someone else cool (like Nathan Fillion) be the Green Lantern. 

      • MilaXX

        Love Fillion but no way was he getting Green Lantern. He’s too old for the demo the studio would want.

        • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

          Based on the finished product, you are correct.  It was very much a youth friendly film — Even among people in their late 20’s, Fillion has a lot of cred from Firefly, but GL clearly wanted a young audience, including kids, as opposed to a lot of the more recent comic book movies. 

          The good news is that Reynolds still says Deadpool is coming:)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZYE2XB2BQR5P4M6YBDQPV5ICMQ Liz

      At least it’s not another twilight cover…

    • Anonymous

      I actually found this kind of adorable. It pokes fun at the fawning celeb-profile while celebrating just how unbalanced it (obviously) is.

    • taodon

      Oh!  They put his old nose back on for this one.  That’s nice.

    • http://onebluetree.blogspot.com/ Sara L.

      I love it. I have always thought of him more as “funny man” than “leading man”. That cover is hilarious.

    • http://twitter.com/jennayyyp86 Jennie

      I find it pretty funny.  but that’s because I’m obsessed with Ryan Reynolds too.  The tattoo = awesome.

    • Anonymous

      The NY Times just published a scathing review of “The Green Turd,” er, um, “The Green Hornet” or Lantern or whatever it is. Ry-Ry’s going to need a sense of humor to help him roll with the punches. I think his summer blockbuster is going to be as celebrated for its cinematic contribution as was “Batman and Robin.” He sure is a cute kid, though. That cover is hilarious.

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        My mother mentions Kato every time I mention the Green Lantern….

    • Sara__B

      Aw, come on. How cute is that cover? …  Okay, maybe too cute.

    • http://profiles.google.com/angelarosesarno angela rose sarno

      the actual triceps on his actual arm looks like the shoulder muscle on the tattoo.  whoa.

    • Glen Coleson

      Sad thing is Ryan reynolds is actually a pretty good actor. Buried was amazing, and i liked him in the Amityville Horror remake. Hope he doesn’t get blamed for Green Lantern tanking.

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

        I don’t think he will.  First, because I’m not totally sure Green Lantern will tank.  Yeah, the reviews are bad…. But when has that ever mattered to fanboys?  I’m seeing it regardless of reviews and I can pretty much guarantee all the other geeks I know will too.  Critics mean nothing compared to dollar signs as far as the studio is concerned.  (And it can’t be worse than Superman Returns… worst comic book movie ever!  At least Batman and Robin had things blowing up!)

        Second, because there are a lot of Ryan Reynolds fans.  He’s got too big a following for one movie to tank his career.  If he turns out a couple more, then you need to worry.  (Or he could just go back to Marvel and do Deadpool… We all want Deadpool…)

    • Anonymous

      Thank the gods for T Lo.  I’m just heading out for mexican food and now my appetite has been curbed….

    • Shannon Merryman

      Aww I think it’s cute! Maybe because I am not yet a jaded old broad…soon…soon..

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GFMOZFM3WT3T56EZHVZFK7UXSI Ramon

      It reminds me of that episode of “Designing Women” where Suzanne taught Bernice how to walk in her retirement home pageant: “I walk; I sway; I move from side to side. I am smiling. But that doesn’t mean I am not concerned about all the sadness in the world.” 

    • Anonymous

      I dunno. The cover photo made *me* laugh. But then, I don’t read/see much about Ryan Reynolds so I may not have passed the saturation point.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

      I can never take him seriously – he’ll always be Van Wilder to me.  Therefore, this works.

    • Erika Shor

      Oh come on. It’s funny!!!

    • Anonymous

      *gag*

      • Lisa

        That, and dull.  Why does this guy get so much attention?

    • Anonymous

      I’m easily amused, the cover cracked me up. :)

    • Sarah Hankins

      I think it’s funny!  The whole thing pokes fun at celebrity tongue baths and starstruck public culture and is just obnoxious enough to work.

    • Anonymous

      Not knowing much about him, I think it’s kinda funny.

    • MilaXX

      Whatever Ry, just shake it baby.

    • http://profiles.google.com/thisiscelia Celia

      Good god. My eyes are rolling so far back in my head they may have stuck. He needs to stop trying to be funny, because even when he’s trying to be self-deprecating, it just comes off as douchey.

      I do like the cheeky concept for the cover, but he’s shot a little weird and looks odd. His hand looks tiny, his long face looks squished, and all I can see is foreheadforeheadforehead.

      • Anonymous

        The cover looks ok to me, he’s a pretty pretty man.
        But you’re right on the money about his humor… I watched him on Letterman and it was excruciating. He’s trying to act as a comedian and he’s not that good an actor.

    • Anonymous

      I think it’s hilarious. And he is looking awfully cute.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=637520850 Madison Chua

      He is hot. He was the best thing in Green Lantern, which isn’t saying much.

    • http://twitter.com/wednesdaydreams Natalie

      wow this is stupid

    • Anonymous

      Aw, c’mon, it’s actually a funny article. I really can’t imagine him as a super hero or a big sex symbol despite his sixpack abs/sexiest man alive title, movies like Van Wilder and Just Friends are where he’s at his best.

      • http://twitter.com/closetcoach Heidi/Closet Coach

        It really is! I’m a subscriber and I thought his self-profile was more amusing and well-written than some of the ones they’ve done for others. It was self-deprecating and cheeky, which is what he does best.

    • MC Wheaton

      Well I think he is Blandy McBlanderson but I read the EW article and it was pretty darned amusing. 

    • Anonymous

      Come on guys, that cover’s pretty damn funny!

    • Anonymous

      And not a single shirtless pic in the entire article! I ain’t paying to see this boy wear clothes.

    • Anonymous

      I think the premise is funny, and I’ve always found him funny.  I think I would have to read the whole story, though, to decide if it worked.  However, if it does work, I hope this doesn’t become commonplace.  I think there a very few other celebrities who could write a successful tongue-in-cheek bio on him or herself.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve always found him likable and sort of cute, but honestly, the article made me want to punch him in the nose. What an ass.

    • Shawn Hill

      It was a light issue. They did the same thing for Nathan Fillion a few weeks back.

      • akprincess72

        Nathan Fillion I’d actually want to read about…