Chloë Moretz in Carven

Posted on June 03, 2011

Darlings, the sun is shining, we’ve had our coffee, we’re chained to our desks for the day, ready to work, so let’s start off by kicking a little girl.

Chloë Moretz attends The Royal Academy of Arts’ Summer Exhibition Preview Party in London in a Carven dress.

Carven Fall 2011 Collection/Model: Carolina Thaler (NATHALIE)

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Oh, all right. If we absolutely must, then we will refrain from kicking any little girls. In fact, we’re not even going to subject her to an In or Out assessment; just a quick rundown of the good and bad from a gay uncle perspective.

Okay, the dress is super-cute and works really well on her body type. However, it’s a bit too bulky up top and it shrinks her torso down to nothing. This dress needed some alterations to fit her in a more flattering manner, but the dress itself, we like. It’s everything else that’s wrong. Honey, that hair is for working in the food court at the local mall. Those shoes are for your great aunt to wear to your cousin’s wedding. The nail polish is kind of adorably appropriate for a 14 year old, but not for a 14 year old wearing this look. And while concessions should be made when a very young lady is dressing up like a grownup, we still think a little color on the face and at least ONE piece of jewelry would have been called for here. As it is, it’s a showy dress with absolutely NO detailing; no jewelry, little (if any) makeup, no purse, and shoes that look like they were chosen from a bin.

But cheer up, honey! You’re 14 and practically EVERYONE dresses like an idiot at 14! You’re actually doing all right, all things considered. Just hire some gay uncles, pronto. They’ll hook you up on the detailing.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage,]

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  • Anonymous

    The fitting problems as I see it are these.  One, the lay of the cross piece on the bodice is too high for her, making her already short neck disappear entirely.  And Two, The skirt needs to be dropped at the waist point an inch or so.  She seems naturally short-waisted, and the cut only makes her more so.  Her hair would have been just fine worn brushed well and down.  She does need a LITTLE bit of color at the eyes to offset the natural redness of her complexion there.  And the shoes, well, the shoes are just tragic.

  • Anonymous

    Photos can be deceiving–especially these, where there’s essentially no frame of reference–but she LOOKS like she’s very short.  So in that case, I’d pull the waist of the skirt down to lengthen her torso, but of course then it would have to be shortened because the hemline is just right now.  I disagree about the hair–I prefer an updo like hers to some of these “styled with a kitchen whisk” looks that aim for sexy/tousled and end up looking just plain messy and over-product-laden.  The shoes are at least light and not large, clunky platforms of the Minnie Mouse variety, and I do think you’re just being bitchy to get after the lilac toenail polish.  How many times have you said things like, “if you’re going to wear shoes that expose your feet, PUH-LEEZ get a pedicure and some polish”?  The girl is following your advice and now you’re carping about color.

    Agree she could have used some makeup although points should be given for not being an overachiever at such a tender age.  Also a pair of earrings or a bracelet would not be out of line.

    But the outfit itself is adorable–love the tartan plaid of the top much better than the solid color on the model.  Pockets in the skirt are a big plus!

    Go have some more coffee, TLo, and then look again.  I think you’ll be less picky when you’re more awake.

    • “How many times have you said things like, “if you’re going to wear shoes
      that expose your feet, PUH-LEEZ get a pedicure and some polish”? ”

      Precisely never. We’ve always found the “get a pedicure” criticism to be a bit much unless there’s some egregiously bad feet on display.

    • Personally, my first thought was that those shoes and that toe nail polish color do not flatter her feet at all.

    • Anonymous

      it’s us minions who bring on the pedicure bitchery and shudder over ungroomed toenails. this the first time i have even hear them mention a toe color. i think that they are wrong about the color though, and with a different shoe i think the color would have looked young and fun. i agree with all their other comments. chloe is super cute, i look forward to seeing her develop her red carpet style.

  • Anonymous

    Very cute dress on a very cute girl. Age appropiate and somewhat sophisticated. And viewed from a normal distance the shoes and even the toenail polish are fine. She’s just a kid really, she wasn’t ready for a hyper close-up of her feet. Even Norma Desmond wasn’t prepared for that!

  • Anonymous

    Agreed on all points and I will add a big one:  Young lady, stand up straight and SMILE!!!  You are 14, on your way to being famous, and quite pretty.  But you are way too young to try this pouty, sexy, sultry look.  It is skeevy and plain stupid.  Enjoy being a 14 yo while you are.  There is plenty of time to be a bitch on the prowl later.

    • Anonymous

      Young actresses would do well to take a page from Dakota Fannings playbook.  Dakota always seemed happy to be where she was, the age she was and thrilled to be having a career.  And she has a wonderful career without being old too soon.

      • I think she’s a great actress, what you said is funny, because I ALWAYS perceived Dakota Fanning as being much much much too old too soon, like a 7 year old forced to take on the raising of her siblings and care for her parents.  It always made me feel a bit sad when I saw her.

    • Judy_J

      Exactly what I was thinking!

    • Oh, hush!  She couldn’t stand up any straighter if she put a board along her back.  And, besides, one doesn’t “smile” if one doesn’t feel like it.  She isn’t a clown performing for an audience of simpletons.  She’s a teenager having to endure some dreary event her agent probably sent her to so give her a break.

  • Anonymous

    Practically everyone except Hailie Steinfeld. Chloe def needs to spend more time with her gay uncles.

  • Anonymous

    Cute girl and if the dress were tailored to fit better it would look even more adorable. I’m all for encouraging the youngins who decide to go a different road than the overly sexy route. The shoes aren’t good but hopefully she’ll learn…and they’re not huge peep toe platforms.

  • Charming, but boring.  At least she is dressed appropriately for her age.

  • Vaniljekjeks

    Aww Hit Girl has grown up a bit!  She does look cute though.  Nothing fantastic, just cute.

  • The wish to be trendier than the next celebrity aside, why do people insist on wearing fall pieces in the summer? Winter materials and the weight they give to a garment mostly look wrong in the sunshine.

    • The “summer?”  Oh, dear.  You may want to look up the temperature here in London.  She’s probably got a nice, chilly breeze blowing over that not-so-thick-material. 
      Honey, we only get a couple of weeks of “sunshine” – which is usually around late July and early August – and rarely does one dare to go outside without, at the very least, a light jacket.  

  • Anonymous

    The shoes look like they came the bargain rack at the $5.00 store.

  • Anonymous

    I think that dress is super cute! Hate the lilac toenails though. I think you’re being too harsh on everything else. She’s very cute.

  • Anonymous

    I give her credit for not doing the princess look and for not trying to look like she’s 25. I do agree that the look needs some tweaks, but I think she is about 80 percent of the way there. I would change out the shoes and add earrings and a bracelet. The makeup and hair are fine by me.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, those shoes look REALLY cheap.

  • Anonymous

    I have not seen this girl before but she looks like she is probably cute.  These are pretty bad pictures and the dress and shoes look like pieces she borrowed from two different people.

  • Anonymous

    The skeletal model – with her bone-y arms – looks wide as well.  The cut is not flattering at all.  So I think she is wearing the dress as well or better. Agree that it is the rest that needs work.  Just glad when young girls don’t dress too slutty

  • Anonymous

    OK, so I looked her up and she is cute.  I think it’s really hard for girls this age to dress up and look appropriate.  They should look young but not childish, pretty but not overly made up, interesting but not weird, attractive but not slutty.  I still don’t like her outfit, but if someone will just introduce her to Haley Steinfeld’s stylist I’m sure she will be just fine.

  • Anonymous

    I am ok with the hair but you are absolutely right, the look needs jewelry– earrings would make it.

  • Anonymous

    She’s 14? This is so not right for a 14 year old. And it’s not good for her body type — it’s unflattering. And apparently she’s only 14, dressed like a 30 year old!  It’s just wrong in every way.

  • Jessica O’Connell

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say, I actually like the hair and that she has minimal make up on. She’s come out before and said things that suggest that her parents are working to make sure she doesn’t grow up too fast or get too jaded from being famous at such a young age and I think that’s fabulous. I wasn’t supposed to wear make up when I was 14 except for on very special occasions, so the fact that hers is minimal is nice to me. You can be young and fresh faced rather than looking like a severely made up girl trying to play dress up with mommy’s make up bag.

    I also like the dress. I agree that the bulk of it makes her look very short and short-torsoed, but I like the overall style. I will say though, it needs to be adjusted a bit, because I can definitely see her strapless bra, which is a no-no.

    Not a big fan of the shoes or the nail polish, but she’s 14, the let the girl have some fun!

    Overall, like the youngness of the look. Wish she had smiled though because she’s an adorable girl and a great little actress. Be happy! You’re too young for sultry! 🙂

  • MilaXX

    I think the cross the body strap is the biggest problem. It chops up her torso, and makes it look like she has no neck.if this was a one sleeve dress it would open up that neck and chest area and wouldn’t look quite so choppy. hate the hair and she needs some earrings and at least a tinted lip balm. The shoes are old looking and her feet look a little busted in them. That purple isn’t doing her any favors.

  • Oh I disagree… I think she looks super adorable w/ the no makeup, etc. 🙂

  • Anonymous


  • Love the dress, and love her.  I just wish the dress were in a different color.

  • Anonymous

    I lerve the dress!  For me!  Everything about this look is wrong for a 14-year-old dewy rosy cheeked adorable child.  Except for the pink lip color.  That, she got right.  Hair down, little earrings, a not-nude shoe?  Then I think she could overcome the black and plaid.  but god, I love that dress for a grown-up….

  • Anonymous

    oh shoot…no kicking little girls today…uhm…can we kick puppies instead?  😉

    This is another one of those tops that looks like it needs instructions on how to properly wear. She’s lost her neck and it looks like it’s straining across her front….needs to be loosened on the sash, or something…shifted, adjusted, fluffed and tweaked…ugh.  Too much bother…not the right dress for her nor the occasion.  

    Drab color…and the plaid looks fall/winter…not spring summer, nor party dress.  Agree about the shoes.

    I like her hair and subtle makeup…appropriate for a young girl.

  • Anonymous

    For 14 she looks awesome. Somebody issue an injunction against photographing her pouty face, though. So much prettier when she smiles.

    And as someone who’s reached the age where every now and then they glimpse a rarely considered bit of their own skin and are struck, anew, into dismay, may I say that 14 may be THE optimal age for bare little sandals?

  • I think the hair looks fine.  I hate the top of the dress on her, and it looks like she’s stooping her neck in with her posture.  Other than that, it’s cute enough.  The feet are weirding me out.

  • Anonymous

    I like what she’s going for here, except that the cross body strap looks like it’s choking her.  I’d like it better on her shoulder (even if that’s not what the designer intended).

  • The dress looks a bit heavy for summer.  Other than that, I like her look and- had this been an in or out- I would have definitely given her an IN.

  • Sorry, TLO, but she’s fourteen. A fourteen year old girl doesn’t need makeup to rock a cute dress.

  • Why is she making Renee Zellweger’s face when she poses?

  • margaret meyers

    Graduate of the Miley Cyrus Posture School.

    And she isn’t dressed like an idiot, she just needed someone who was paying attention to help her with this look.

  • Anonymous

    Lamb dressed as mutton.  That dress crowds her. 

  • Lisa

    Oh, she looks cute!  She’s 14 – I think she did fairly well for a girl that young.

  • Anonymous

    Naw, she doesn’t need jewelry. She’s 14! So maybe if it comes from Claire’s Boutique or something. The dress is atrocious!!! It cuts off her freaking neck!

  • Anonymous

    i love her makeup – its perfect for her age. Everything else is okay but  your dead wrong about the makeup

  • Is that yet another 14 year old trying to do sexyface?!? Miley Cyrus, what hath you wrought?!?!?!

  • Ron Labhart

    The draping on the bodice DOES need some zhuzhing. Agreed on hair and makeup. In particular, she needs eyebrows. Her lips are absolutely divine – her picture should be next to Ryan Phillippe’s in the dictionary definition of “Cupid’s bow” – but just a touch of color would take them over the top. And a little – just the tiniest bit – of contouring of the cheekbones is called for, yes. The shoes are the biggest obvious misstep IMO. This look really calls for shoes that don’t disappear against her skin, for starters. She’s a flower with no vase.