38th Annual Daytime Entertainment Emmy Awards

Posted on June 20, 2011

Darlings, it was the 38th Annual Daytime Entertainment Emmy Awards! And can we just say something? The fashion at the daytime Emmys is always TRAGIC. We realize designers aren’t falling all over themselves to provide loaners to nameless-to-the-vast-majority-of-the-public soap opera stars or cooking show hosts. And while that’s a shame that these hard-working carnies can’t get a little style love from The Man, that doesn’t excuse the truly eye-searing and horrifying getups that some of them wear so proudly. We’ve got a chunk of them to run through, so we’re doing this Tourette’s style. Join us, won’t you?

Adrienne Frantz

1986 prom!

Anna Maria Perez De Tagle

Princess Jasmine!

Bree Williamson

Flame retardant!

Brittany Allen

Doubles as a plant hanger!

Debbi Morgan

1986 prom! Again!

Denise Vasi

If the dress has lips, PUT IT BACK!

Devin Devasquez

“Who are you wearing?”

“Bed Bath and Beyond!”

Haley Pullos

Bad shoes! Mullet skirt! Weird eye makeup!

Jennifer Gareis

Frilly toothpick!

Jill Larson

1986 prime time soap opera!

 

[learn_more caption="Click to see the rest of the crazy, kittens."] Judi Evans

Titfeathers!

Jeanne Cooper

Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!

Julia Pace Mitchell

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THESE LADIES AND THEIR OBSESSION WITH 1986 PROM?!?

Kassie de Pavia

Kinda hot!

Kate Linder

This woman is insane.

Kimberly McCullough

Pretty color! But shapeless!

Laura McKenzie

No, really. Were all these people cryogenically frozen in 1986 and they just woke up?

Lauren Koslow

Honey! We don’t mean to alarm you but something is trying to escape from your wig!

Marie Osmond

Completely unable to move from the hips up!

Marlee Matlin

Sweetie, it’s the ghetto Emmys. A train’s a bit much.

Melissa Archer

Of course! 1986 CALL GIRL!

Meredith Vieira

Shapeless!

Michelle Stafford

1986 prime time soap opera night gown!

Molly Burnett

Blind!

Peggy McCay

Franzia, Virginia Slims, Estee Lauder White Linen!

Rachael Ray

No gays were involved in the styling of this look!

Sarah Glendening

The label inside reads “Gucii!”

Susan Lucci

SCARING THE CHILDREN!!!!

[/learn_more]

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nicole-Walraven/527225623 Nicole Walraven

      oh TLo, you so mean. I actually like the plant hanger dress.

      • Anonymous

        me too! 

        I with you’d stopped at others that deserved extended bitchery. some of the hosiery in those pictures is seriously wrong.

      • Anonymous

        me too! 

        I with you’d stopped at others that deserved extended bitchery. some of the hosiery in those pictures is seriously wrong.

      • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

        Thirded.

      • Rei Carter

        I liked it too.

      • Anonymous

        I agree on that dress, in fact, i am sure we have seen it before here on someonse else and it got a good review.  I think it is very cool.

      • Jenny Qian

        Same! It’s also the same dress (by Catherine Malandrino) that Katie Cassidy wore to the MTV Movie Awards: http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2011/06/2011-mtv-movie-awards-parts-2.html

      • suzq

        I agree.  The plant hanger dress is interesting, lovely and very much of the current style.

      • suzq

        I agree.  The plant hanger dress is interesting, lovely and very much of the current style.

      • suzq

        I agree.  The plant hanger dress is interesting, lovely and very much of the current style.

      • Anonymous

        Agreed.

      • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

        I thought I saw that dress somewhere else before.  It’s pretty interesting.

      • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

        Me too!

    • http://twitter.com/foodhussy foodhussy

      i love my #dool people – but i have to say – poor molly burnett was lookin cuh-razy! 

    • http://profiles.google.com/spring.mcmanus Spring McManus

      I love that one of the sponsors is IHOP. I hope they got pancakes in their swag bags. :) Rooti Tooti Fresh and Fruity coupons?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      I actually think these are kind of fun, if in a terrible way – kind of like Eurovision or ice dancing – or even, dare I say, soap operas themselves? 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RK5MAF2VNT32ULNYFIXDANTEC4 Terence

      I think Brittany Allen (whoever she is) looks great!  You’d give that dress an IN if it were red carpet on some movie tartlet…or maybe Christina Hendricks.  Don’t be afraid to let her set the curve, boys.

      But the cheapo sequinned 90’s prom bomb you gave a “kinda hot”?  Blech.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks, Terence.  (But I got to direct Brittany when she was in college, so I’m a little biased…)

      • Anonymous

        I agree with TLO.  In black, with the nude underdress it does look like a macrame plant hanger.   The neutral colored version that was featured in an earlier post was WAY better.

        • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

          If she’d worn the neutral color she would have been called out for looking washed out.

    • http://profiles.google.com/paigemano Paige Mano

      Ugh, Rachael Ray. BAARF.

      • Anonymous

        Seriously, right?  As soon as she came out, my partner said “The lines to make her look thinner, make her look fatter.”  That dress was nuts. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/paigemano Paige Mano

      Oops, replied to wrong person.

    • MilaXX

      Why would Devin Devasquez wear a shower curtain and think that’s cute? Worse yet why would she pose with it like that, making herself look as wide as possible? I am amazed that so many of the women managed to wear gowns that looked either too large for them or gave them no waistline at all. taking that into consideration Marilee Maitlin’s train is not only forgivable, she should be applauded as one of the few well dressed folks there.

    • Anonymous

      “Tlo said: No gays were involved in the styling of this look!”

      Yes, doesn’t Straight Kevin work for her show?

      –GothamTomato

      • Anonymous

        And if they were involved, they’re no longer gay.  Gay Cards have been revoked for less egregious crimes against humanity.

    • Anonymous

      Judith Chapman: Liberace wants his track suit back pronto!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=13810915 Mary Scheidegger

        Actually, that’s not Judith Chapman. That’s Jeanne Cooper. Same soap, different actress

        • http://twitter.com/VicksieDo Vickie Lord

          Hey, she’s in her 80s let’s give her some slack

    • http://twitter.com/jiabug Jean Twaddell

      Gucii! Bahahahaha!

      • Anonymous

        exactly! i snorted diet coke out my nose when i read that.  AND they picked the fugly overexposed one to knock off!

      • Anonymous

        Hilarious!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NWP6E7VB7EHLCCFKYDFGQQ5TX4 hannah

      Wow… I can only imagine what a REAL 1986 prom may have looked like. Oh, the horror!

      • http://www.facebook.com/CatherineKatz Catherine Katz

        They had straps and/or sleeves.  Drop waists.  Hair MUCH bigger.  Matched the bow tie and *shudder* cummerbund exactly.  With jelly shoes.  Not kidding.  Yes, my prom was 1986.  

    • Anonymous

      Put me in the group that loves the plant hanger dress.  The 1986 prom dresses look similar to my 1983 prom dress, but without the hoop skirt or crinoline.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, I’ll sign on for that one, too. It’s different, fits well, and is not shiny.

    • Anonymous

      Kate Linder: Katy Perry in 40 years.

    • Anonymous

      “Bed Bath and Beyond!””Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!”
      “Frilly toothpick”

      Haha! Perfect. I don’t know how you come up with this stuff.

      I actually like the plant hanger dress. But Jill Larson’s dress stopped me in my tracks. It outdoes all the others by a mile. Ten miles. The gold drapery that looks like it was pulled out of an Antiques, Furniture and Collectibles store window on W. 58th St. Or stolen from “The Grand Prospect Hall,” a local wedding palace that promises to “make your dreams come true!” Or found in a locker of Gunsmoke costumes.  Or pinched from a lesser palace somewhere in Bohemia. . . 

      • Anonymous

        Hey I live near Bohemia and I want to defend our tacky catering halls. None of those catering establishments are as bad as that dress.

        • Anonymous

          Haha. Not that Bohemia! 

          • Anonymous

            Wait… there is another Bohemia! ;)

    • Anonymous

      Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!

      Please let this be the epitaph on my tombstone.

    • Anonymous

      I think Brittany Allen’s dress is awesome.  Looks like something Florence Welch would wear.

      And why is Laura McKenzie carrying a pot of caviar?

    • Anonymous

      Cracktastic!

    • G. Malone

      Is Judith Chapman Jeanne Cooper’s astral twin? Whomever, she’s into some serious Bob Mackie scarfwear. 

    • aussiegal77

      The plant hanger dress I thought was rather good.  Everyone else – terrible.

    • Anonymous

      I scrolled through the lot thinking there’d be at least one dress that was a pass. I was wrong.

    • Anonymous

      I scrolled through the lot thinking there’d be at least one dress that was a pass. I was wrong.

    • Anonymous

      I scrolled through the lot thinking there’d be at least one dress that was a pass. I was wrong.

    • Anonymous

      I like the plant hanger dress, too.

      You know, I actually liked ’80s fashion (probably because those were my formative years, and it therefore is what looks like “normal clothes” to me).  But the ’80s prom dresses on display here?  Nyet.  Not just ’86 prom wear, but ’86 prom wear from the discount shop bought a week ahead of time.  And trust me, I know whereof I speak there.  No one on any red carpet should dress like I dressed for a prom I went to alone in a small cow-town.

      Soap stars are all very busy.  Maybe they just grabbed things off the nearest costume rack as they ran out the door.

    • Anonymous

      couldn’t you find a least ONE nice thing to say?

    • Anonymous

      couldn’t you find a least ONE nice thing to say?

    • Anonymous

      couldn’t you find a least ONE nice thing to say?

    • http://profiles.google.com/kbryna kbryna frogboots

      Lauren Koslow, whomever she may be, may have a wig disaster on her head, but her dress is pretty good. Especially when you compare it to the, er, competition.  And is “Blind!” a comment on who chose the dress, or the effect the dress has on one’s eyes? Or worse, what one wishes one was when confronted with aforementioned dress?
      Maybe the theme of this year’s prom was “1986 Prom,” and these gowns are all leftovers???

    • http://profiles.google.com/kbryna kbryna frogboots

      Lauren Koslow, whomever she may be, may have a wig disaster on her head, but her dress is pretty good. Especially when you compare it to the, er, competition.  And is “Blind!” a comment on who chose the dress, or the effect the dress has on one’s eyes? Or worse, what one wishes one was when confronted with aforementioned dress?
      Maybe the theme of this year’s prom was “1986 Prom,” and these gowns are all leftovers???

      • http://twitter.com/alileonard Alison Leonard

        I’m glad someone else liked Lauren Koslow’s dress! Think it would be nicer as just a column dress rather than that hem, but I like it!

    • http://profiles.google.com/kbryna kbryna frogboots

      Lauren Koslow, whomever she may be, may have a wig disaster on her head, but her dress is pretty good. Especially when you compare it to the, er, competition.  And is “Blind!” a comment on who chose the dress, or the effect the dress has on one’s eyes? Or worse, what one wishes one was when confronted with aforementioned dress?
      Maybe the theme of this year’s prom was “1986 Prom,” and these gowns are all leftovers???

    • Anonymous

      I, too, didn’t find the plant-hanger dress so awful. The rest — downright horrid.

    • Anonymous

      I am on board with the, “I like the plant hanger dress.” Ha never thought I would say that!

    • http://profiles.google.com/dchockeyguy Trevor Burroughs

      I really wanted to see what you had to say about Susan Lucci’s mullet dress!

    • http://profiles.google.com/dchockeyguy Trevor Burroughs

      I really wanted to see what you had to say about Susan Lucci’s mullet dress!

    • Anonymous

      It’s only fair to hold these ladies to a lower standard, since they don’t get zillions of freebies and all kinds of styling help. But really. These are well-off women–in some cases, VERY well off. They couldn’t afford a beautiful dress, some nice accessories, and a stylist–just for the day???  

      Rachael Ray’s dress looks like it was made by snipping the seams on her wet suit and restitching the material into a dress. Meredith Villera appears to be wearing a Rami “Cashew” original that her assistant purchased on the street. Right next to that “Gucii” number. But while Rachael and Meredith just look hilariously bad, Susan Lucci is truly tragic. The balloon boobs coupled with the limbs that now contain no muscle, only tendons, and the face that has been plasticized to resemble a teenager? Scary. Scary and sad. All performers over the age of 50 who are going to be treading the red rug should be required to sit and watch detailed videos of Dame Helen Mirren.

      i also love the plant hanger dress. And Kassie di Pavia. Whoever she is.

    • Anonymous

      It’s only fair to hold these ladies to a lower standard, since they don’t get zillions of freebies and all kinds of styling help. But really. These are well-off women–in some cases, VERY well off. They couldn’t afford a beautiful dress, some nice accessories, and a stylist–just for the day???  

      Rachael Ray’s dress looks like it was made by snipping the seams on her wet suit and restitching the material into a dress. Meredith Villera appears to be wearing a Rami “Cashew” original that her assistant purchased on the street. Right next to that “Gucii” number. But while Rachael and Meredith just look hilariously bad, Susan Lucci is truly tragic. The balloon boobs coupled with the limbs that now contain no muscle, only tendons, and the face that has been plasticized to resemble a teenager? Scary. Scary and sad. All performers over the age of 50 who are going to be treading the red rug should be required to sit and watch detailed videos of Dame Helen Mirren.

      i also love the plant hanger dress. And Kassie di Pavia. Whoever she is.

    • Anonymous

      Plant hanger dress for the win!  Sure, there’s a macrame vibe, but it still works for me.

    • Anonymous

      Plant hanger dress for the win!  Sure, there’s a macrame vibe, but it still works for me.

    • Anonymous

      I think the first 4 or so – until the lips – are fine.  Then Judi, Kassie,  Melissa and Lauren  – are all fine (although Lauren’s hair is out of control)     The shows I (have) watch(ed) are represented on the list.

      Those bands/belts Kimberly and Jennifer have are so bad.  I have been seeing too many of those widen bands that are so unflattering.   

    • Anonymous

      I think the first 4 or so – until the lips – are fine.  Then Judi, Kassie,  Melissa and Lauren  – are all fine (although Lauren’s hair is out of control)     The shows I (have) watch(ed) are represented on the list.

      Those bands/belts Kimberly and Jennifer have are so bad.  I have been seeing too many of those widen bands that are so unflattering.   

      • Anonymous

        I could even like the lips dress–sans the lips!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1464580879 Sarah Oleksyk

      MAJOR BITCHPANTS, guys. I loved Brittany Allen’s macrame dress and I don’t have the slightest clue who she is! Your “GUCII” crack made my day, though – never stop.

    • http://twitter.com/DresswithAplomb Aplomb Pomilio

      I like Jasmine.

    • Amanda in Austin

      You made me snarf my lunch out my nose!  Especially the “wine, cigarettes, perfume” comments on a couple of them. And I went to prom in 1986. You’re exactly right about those dresses.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_T24URKJGBLJQPBWCRPU37IIHLU Krab Louse

      Poor Susan Lucci.   Will she EVER win an award?!

      • Anonymous

        I can’t believe I know this, but she did pick one of those suckers up a few years ago after something like 15 nominations.

    • Anonymous

      Considering that several of these women will probably be unemployed in the next year as soaps die off, I’m giving them all a pass.  Especially La Lucci.

    • http://twitter.com/VicksieDo Vickie Lord

      LOL!

    • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

      I think Brittany Allen looks fantastic! I have no idea who that woman is, but her dress was interesting and lovely.

    • Robert Sanchez

      Kassie de Paiva looks phenomenal! Even more so in comparison to her daytime peers.

    • Anonymous

      I like what Brittney Allen is where and I love her orange clutch.  She looks smokin.

    • http://twitter.com/kmc1138 Kathleen Coyle

      1. Lips.  Lips?  Li- seriously.  Who looks at that and says “yeah, that’s nice”?  WHO DOES THAT?!!?  Lips.  I love kitsch, but that’s fucking tacky.
      2. I shall start a band, and it shall be called “Titfeather.”  And it will either be riot grrrl punk with jam band breaks, or Native American drumbeats with porn riffs.
      3.  Something about Rachel Ray’s face makes me want to punch it.  I’m a fairly mellow gal, but I just want to punch it.

    • Anonymous

      Teeth-bleaching is so easy, even I can do it!  Meredith, please.  Invest a few bucks in it.

      What’s wrong with Susan Lucci’s legs?

    • Anonymous

      Teeth-bleaching is so easy, even I can do it!  Meredith, please.  Invest a few bucks in it.

      What’s wrong with Susan Lucci’s legs?

    • Grace Ritt

      Oh goodness. There was not a single dress I liked on this red carpet.

    • Anonymous

      Who IS responsible for that Bed, Bath, and Beyond crime?  Come to think of it, she might have found a more attractive shower curtain if she’d really shopped at BB&B.

    • Rei Carter

      titfeathers! I spat coffee at my office computer. 

      • Jason Kramer

        Same here

    • Anonymous

      omg.  poor, sad Rachel Ray.  She has no idea how to dress her body. 

    • kbeeaker

      I can just hear you guys killings yourselves laughing as you wrote this. Nicely done.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

      But Jeanne Cooper is just so awesome. Bitch had a facelift and worked it into her storyline. 20+ years ago. Fiercer than Lucci IMO.
      However. I don’t know what’s worse, the orange piping on the pants, or the peeptoes/matchy nail polish. Still, I am almost inclined to give her a pass…

      • Anonymous

        Really, I give everyone over roughly 75 or 76 a pass – they may look a tad odd but (unlike the young ones, sometimes) it doesn’t look like what they wear to run in for milk and a dozen eggs. Even if your job is in the public eye, it takes more effort as the years mount up.

    • http://twitter.com/jennsaysmeow Fifi LaRoux

      You boys make Mondays bearable. :)

    • Megan Sullivan

      Ha ha ha ha ha. Just the laugh I needed today! But I liked the plant hanger dress too.

    • Anonymous

      Goodness, you boys might have outdone yourselves in hilarity today.  

    • Anonymous

      Strangely the original Virginal Slims spokesperson, Peggy McCay’s gown would be ok if she ditched the aerosol sandals, that cheap necklace and that tinfoil clutch. BTW Peggy must have been the oldest person shopping in Icing when she not doubt muscled out some tween to buy that crappy necklace.
       
      Does Sandra Lee attend this ceremony? I would love to see what the live-in first lady of New York State was wearing.

      • Anonymous

        As she’s roughly 80-ish, I’ll give a pass to shoes perhaps chosen for stability.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

      “Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!” “Franzia, Virginia Slims, Estee Lauder White Linen!” So right on. I love you madly (though I like the plant hanger dress as well).

    • http://twitter.com/merrigator merrigator

      I love you both!  And I liked the plant hanger dress, too. 

    • Anonymous

      I have no idea who Jeanne Cooper is, but I want to be her when I grow up!

      • KarenZ

        Jeanne Cooper is 83 f—in’ years old. Would that I could like so good. She gets a pass.

    • Anonymous

      IHOP is one of the sponsors as indicated on the backdrop. ‘Nuff said to explain the ghetto nature of these tragic red carpet get ups (I feel using the term “dresses” would be too complimentary).

    • Anonymous

      HOLY SHITBALLS!  That is an amazing assemblage of crappy, dated dresses.  I do think that the black netting over nude thing Brittney Allen is wearing has some possibility.  I’m almost pocitive we have seen that before here on someone else.  I suspect (hope?) Meredith V’s dress looked better when it was allowed to fall free and hang right, I think she got caught in a bad pose.  Everybody else, crap.

    • Anonymous

      Cummon Grrrrlz.  You can ALL do better than this.  Every single one of you has access to enough cash to pay for a decent dress and alterations, access to brilliant sites like this one to teach what to do, and probably oodles of folks only too glad to help you if you would only stretch out your over-painted claws and ask.

      Susan Lucci, the clear winner in the OMFG Olympics.  Susan, yeah you keep yourself in fighting trim, good on you.  But no one needs to be staring at your now knobby knees on the red carpet.  And take off that effing boa someone stitched to your dress.

      • Anonymous

        La Lucci ALMOST made my man Shemar Moore look bad and THAT would take some doing!!! Wish she would realize she is not 25 any more.

        • Anonymous

          And when are these dames gonna get it that the bi-level hemline thing is gawdawful under the best of circumstances.  In any case, way too much going on all over the place for my taste.  Too many gathers, too many frills, too little skirt,…..

    • http://www.facebook.com/suzy.wampler Suzy Rea Wampler

      I think they all shop at “Ruffles-R-Us”, ca. 1986.  Also “if the dress has lips on it, PUT IT BACK” is a mantra we can all live by!  Love u guys xoxo

    • Vaniljekjeks

      I have no idea who 90% of these people are, but these are some fuck-ugly dresses.  Rachel Rays dress makes her look like a hippo.  I laughed hysterically through this entire post though.  I love you guys and your bitchery.  

    • Anonymous

      “Who are you wearing?”
      “Bed, Bath and Beyond!”
      I cackle-laughed so hard, I scared the neighbors cat!
      Someone is taking the mirrors out of LA.

    • Anonymous

      C’mon now, I like the plant hanger dress. The “Bed Bath & Beyond” getup is beyond tragic! And Miss “Honey! We don’t mean to alarm you but something is trying to escape from your wig!” had me cracking up. That is some serious cray cray.

    • http://twitter.com/LadyJazzmine Lady Jazzmine

      Rachael Ray has the weirdest cleavage in the known universe and it should not be shown. Ever. Ever. Again.

    • Leigh Kwiatek

      Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!   THANK YOU!!!

    • Leigh Kwiatek

      Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!   THANK YOU!!!

    • Anonymous

      Wow.  WOW.  In all seriousness, there is NO WAY all those women have that much bad taste, it must be some kind of joke they are playing on the press.

    • http://twitter.com/wrenaria Kimmy Hescock

      Ignoring the hair issue, Lauren Koslow’s dress would be fabulous chopped off at the knee.

    • suzq

      It’s a shame that entertainers require a phalanx of people to dress them and prevent them from embarrassing themselves.  Perhaps it is because our society is so informal these days.  But these stars–to a person–have staff who dress them for their TV shows.  Don’t they pay even a little attention to what these folks say?

    • suzq

      It’s a shame that entertainers require a phalanx of people to dress them and prevent them from embarrassing themselves.  Perhaps it is because our society is so informal these days.  But these stars–to a person–have staff who dress them for their TV shows.  Don’t they pay even a little attention to what these folks say?

    • Anonymous

      *SCREAMING with laughter* There has to be a drinking game in that yelling of booze brand, cigarette brand and perfume brand. OMG. Marlee Matlin is the only one who isn’t insane.

    • Anonymous

      gawd, you guys, I’m spitting all over my screen!  Have mercy, have mercy!!!   Bwa hahahahaha!!!!

    • Anonymous

      “The label inside reads ‘Gucii!’ ”  — heh, my favorite

    • Anonymous

      You guys slay me.
      I’ve gotta ask – where do you go to FIND so many over-sized dresses in eye-searing blocks of color? Several reminded me of Loretta Lynn’s recent forays into ‘creating’ a waist by wearing a skirt too large to go through doorways.

      I fear poor Marie Osmond felt she under dressed.

      Especially loved the cigarette-tipple-fragrance descriptions of the older generation.

    • Anonymous

      “Tourette’s Syndrome Style” is what I would call this whole mash-up of dressing.

      Peggy McCay
      Franzia, Virginia Slims, Estee Lauder White Linen!

    • Anonymous

      Jill Larson, my grandmother wants her ruffled satin bedspread back, and you bettah iron that bitch before you return it!

    • Anonymous

      “Tourette’s Syndrome Style” is what I would call this whole mash up of dressing!

    • Anonymous

      I wish the Daytime Emmys were a semi-annual event — your comments are to die for funny …. LOVE.THEM and you!

    • http://twitter.com/a_liking Ali King

      Aw, I like Brittany Allen’s dress. 

    • http://www.sineaddoyle.com Sinead

      “Gucii” is my favourite comment. It may have been bought in “Dee-or” – the genuine name of a shop in a centre near where I worked.

    • http://www.facebook.com/seelebrennt Christina Diaz

      i was just about to say i lost it at ‘gucii’ but someone already kind of beat me to it.

      still laughing.

    • Anonymous

      If there had been only the one set of lips on the skirt, it’d be a cheeky in.  However, she should move her hand slightly to cover up that one on her hip.  ugh

      ps, another vote in favor of the plant hanger dress.

    • Anonymous

      Forget the dress. Debbi Morgan never ages.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Shawn Hill

      I don’t think you guys are getting Jill Larsen’s sense of humor. She plays a comic relief character on her show. She’s a “go big or go home” type. I do wish people that reviewed soap events still watched soaps; it’s easy to laugh out of indifference.

    • Anonymous

      Awwwww.  Over half of these gals are going to be unemployed soon.  They probably had to go to Macy’s to buy a red carpet dress.  I don’t blame them for the cheap dresses.  Although props to Kassie for bringing it. 

    • http://twitter.com/Space_Kitty Space_Kitty

      That’s an astounding amount of tacky for one event.

    • Anonymous

      omfg lmfao @ 1986 prom and night time soap opera references. i don’t remember all the cheap shiny at my 1986 prom, but there was a lot of tulle. the plant hanger dress was cool and interesting, best of the bunch. and wtf, forget the children, susan lucci scared the crap out of me!

    • http://pleasewelcomeyourjudges.com/ Brian @ PWYJudges

      The biggest compliment was just “Kinda hot.” Amazing.

    • Anonymous

      If Katherine Chancellor was NOT looking bat-shit crazy, I would be disappointed. I flove that old broad.

    • Anonymous

      “Gin, Newports, Chanel No. 5!” Everything about that comment, that photo, and that woman fill me with happiness.

      • Anonymous

        Lol, I used to indulge in all three – never really took to the drink, gave up smoking for breathing (asthma), and had to quit perfume due to a sensitive head. But it was fun while it lasted!  :D

    • Anonymous

      Franzia, Virginia Slims, Estee Lauder White Linen!

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Wow.  With the exception of the “Plant Hanger Dress,”  this was truly T-R-A-G-I-C! One doesn’t expect Oscar quality, but there were better dresses at my company’s Christmas party. I don’t know Devin Devasquez or Jill Larsen but *seriously* ladies? At least the woman (whoever she is) with the lips dress didn’t have one over her lady parts.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Wow.  With the exception of the “Plant Hanger Dress,”  this was truly T-R-A-G-I-C! One doesn’t expect Oscar quality, but there were better dresses at my company’s Christmas party. I don’t know Devin Devasquez or Jill Larsen but *seriously* ladies? At least the woman (whoever she is) with the lips dress didn’t have one over her lady parts.

    • Anonymous

      Well, Gentlemen: this was indeed a tragic bunch of outfits, and your comments were funny and apt, as always. Love what you do!  I have an observation, though. You write that you are doing this “Tourette style”. What does that mean to you?                                                                                                                                                                                                               I have noted over the past couple of years that calling inappropriate comments and non sequiturs, profanity and insane talk “Tourette” has become an acceptable joke. I hear it often amongst political pundits and comedians–and sadly, generally where the misinformation, and unintentional cruelty of the stereotype, can’t be addressed. I can talk back to the tv, but they don’t listen!                                                                                                                                                                                                             My husband has Tourette. Like the VAST majority of Tourette sufferers, coprolalia (the inappropriate vocal tics everyone focuses on in fun) is NOT part of his condition. By some accounts, as many as one child in a hundred has Tourette; that is a lot of pain and embarrassment caused by those jokes, however innocent the intent. Tourette is not a mental illness. The people I have known with it are bright, accomplished, kind, honorable, mentally healthy people, who have endured a lot of emotional pain along with the stares of people who didn’t understand. It really isn’t a joke, and I wish people wouldn’t treat it as if it were.

    • Anonymous

      oh. my. god.     I need the eye wash at the health clinic where I work.

    • Gwen Schott

      Not only do I like the plant hanger dress, I love that she paired it with an orange clutch. Other than the lipstick, the whole look makes me think that she has a fledgling gay guiding her.

      Many of these women are just months away from being unemployed. Looks like they had to stick to a budget, even if it meant recycling their prom dress. ;-)

      But I must say that I LOVE that there’s so much color on this red carpet!! It’s not a sea of nude and black. We have to give the girls points for that!

    • http://diaryofaconsumerpunchingbag.blogspot.com/ Laura Ann Springer

      Yeah you boys got it right…1986 called and it is HORRIFIED that people are trying to bring it back. It was hanging out in retirement land making fun of 1985 and these ladies brought it back to the limelight causing 1987 and 1985 to laugh hysterically at it and point their misbegotten fingers at it.

    • Lisa

      OMG!  You called them carnies – I love you!  Oh, yeah, and every single one of them looks KAH-RAAAZY!!!

    • Anonymous

      funniest damn post I’ve read in a long time! ROFLMAO! as someone who went to a 1986 prom, it was like deja vu.

    • Anonymous

      At least the two wearing 1986 prom dresses are going to the same place!  ;)

    • Anonymous

      Miley Cyrus is so going to be borrowing Jeanne’s outfit.

    • Anonymous

      This is the worst group of schmattas I’ve ever seen in one place. EXCEPT for the plant hanger, which I really like. Maybe not for this event, but it’s a great dress. Maybe you were a little too hard on Marie Osmond? Yeah, she looks frozen, but altogether not too bad.

    • Anonymous

      Your Tourette’s style is the only way to go for the Daytimes, gentlemen … I especially enjoy your wine-cigs-and-scent summations.

      Speaking of ‘gentlemen': very decent of you to refrain from commenting on the high percentage of not-great and/or too-much cosmetic surgery among the soap opera people.  

      The dentist for B&B seems to have but one setting on his whitening raygun: Stun.  Hoo boy, what a lot of’ blue-white teeth on that show.

    • Anonymous

      what do you mean, Tourette’s style? I don’t like the way that sounds.
      the outfits are amusing, though. 

    • http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

      My eyes!  MY EYES!!!!  

    • Anonymous

      LMAO guys! Holy crap those are some hot red carpet messes!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=541931547 Zeeshan Ali

      Thank you boys…your comments made my 4 hours train commute easy-breezy!

    • Anonymous

      Holy crap! Devin Devasquez is being devoured by the mother of all tit curtains!

    • http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=lf UltimaEsperenza

      Love this post!

    • http://soyeahsoblog.blogspot.com April and Maya

      One thing I have to give them credit for:  Just like with soap opera acting, even if they miss most of the time, at least they’re swinging for the bleachers.  This is ten times more interesting than the safety zone snoozefest that most red carpets have become. 

      • Shawn Hill

        And I really think they’re all having a lot of fun that day. I’d love to be at that after-party!
         

    • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

      Lauren Koslow’s hair is unfortunate, but the dress is amazing. 

    • Anonymous

      I feel terribly, but I LOLed at “Blind”!! And Susan Lucci’s breasts are inching up toward her incredibly scrawny, scary-looking neck.

      Just a question about common sense – do these people really think that big breasts look natural with a body that looks like a starved child?? Do they think they look natural? Do they care? OK, that was three questions. Now a fourth: do most Americans think that is sexy? Or desirable?

    • Lynn Chock

      Guys, this is so 1990 prom, not 1986. We weren’t this stylish in ’86.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dawn.scialabba Dawn Scialabba

      I am going to start saying “Titfeathers!” as an expletive.  Spilled my drink… “Titfeathers!”  Computer trouble at the office… “Titfeathers!”

    • Jennifer Coleman

      Sheesh! What terrible thing happened to T or Lo in 1986 to make you hate that year so?

      Otherwise, Hilarious.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Katherine-Lavender/553350310 Katherine Lavender

      ARGH.

    • Patricia Biswanger

      After seeing Susan Lucci here, I had to go to Wikipedia to check out her age.  She’s almost 65, and she’s looking every day of it.  Her arms are frightening.  At some point it’s probably time to work out a little less.

    • http://twitter.com/annie_wonder Annie

      Add me to the liking Plant Hanger dress list please! I actually think it’s lovely so pat on the back to Britany Allen, whoever she is. 

      The rest look like they’ve died and gone to polystyrene-prom-1986-hell – what a mess of dresses! 

    • p. clementine

      I think the Malandrino looks fine… She might be a little too slender for black on nude, which makes her look even thinner, but as a whole, I like the look.

      I am almost positive, however, that I saw Sarah Glendening’s dress on the sales rack at Express. 

    • Anonymous

      I think you would say something different about the plant hanger dress if it were on someone more mainstream famous at a different event.  I call bullshit.

    • frankystein123

      All of them are HORRIBLE… but Susan Lucci is still hot though.