Pairs Division: Cruz and Depp at Cannes

Posted on May 17, 2011

Darlings, the Pirates of the Caribbean PR juggernaut rolls on. Johnny and Penny showed up all fresh-scrubbed and pretty for a  photocall at Cannes. And since poor Penny wore such an ill-fitting dress the other day that the T Lo Commentariat shrieked and covered its eyes and begged us to stop making them look at her (slight exaggeration) we thought we’d do the girl a solid and remind our minions that she may have stumbled in that Givenchy dress but the gal’s still got it in spades.

Stella McCartney Fall 2011 Collection/Model: Sigrid Agren (ELITE)

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SHE: Makes us want to clap our hands and exclaim, “Oh, Honey! You found a dress that fits you!” But then we look at that ridiculous body of hers and wonder why she had a problem in the first place. It’s not like the fashion industry has no place for petite women with great figures. We’re going to assume that Givenchy was forced on her by a drunken stylist. At any rate, we love this dress. We weren’t sure at first, because it does sort of make her boobs look like two scoops of blue ice cream, but hey. There are worse things in life than to have your boobs compared to a delicious treat. Believe it or not, we even like the matchy shoes here. The whole outfit is so deceptively simple that we kind of like the unity of color. And besides, the heels are killa. Hair and makeup look great. Score: 9/10

 

HE: It’s Johnny Depp. This is what you get. He’ll probably be dressing exactly like this at 80.  He looks clean (which isn’t always the case) and put together. Our only really quibble – and it’s more of an annoyance than a quibble – is his weird need to tie bandannas around himself like he was an adorable cocker spaniel or something. We  don’t LOVE his outfit or anything, but we can’t really criticize it. Score: 8/10 .

 


Combined score: 8.5/10
. Well done, pirates.


[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, style.com]

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  • Anna Vasquez

    Eh… that dress kinda makes her boobs look like an old heart-shaped throw pillow.

  • Anna Vasquez

    Eh… that dress kinda makes her boobs look like an old heart-shaped throw pillow.

  • Anna Vasquez

    Eh… that dress kinda makes her boobs look like an old heart-shaped throw pillow.

  • banga

    Any idea who made those awesome shoes of hers?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=644421874 Janice Fercho

       Casadei

  • banga

    Any idea who made those awesome shoes of hers?

  • Miss Heather

    But Johnny’s pants have holes in the knees!!! He grew up poor; he should know better.

  • Miss Heather

    But Johnny’s pants have holes in the knees!!! He grew up poor; he should know better.

  • Miss Heather

    But Johnny’s pants have holes in the knees!!! He grew up poor; he should know better.

    • http://twitter.com/1carmelita 1carmelita

      And the hat has a hole it it, too. Really, that is awful. 

  • Nancy

    I love the dress and she looks beautiful in it but I hate the length.  It looks good on absolutely no one.  Johnny Depp is adorable and I love his style.  It’s a little self-involved maybe, but hey, he’s a celebrity and that’s what they’re all about. 

  • Nancy

    I love the dress and she looks beautiful in it but I hate the length.  It looks good on absolutely no one.  Johnny Depp is adorable and I love his style.  It’s a little self-involved maybe, but hey, he’s a celebrity and that’s what they’re all about. 

  • Nancy

    I love the dress and she looks beautiful in it but I hate the length.  It looks good on absolutely no one.  Johnny Depp is adorable and I love his style.  It’s a little self-involved maybe, but hey, he’s a celebrity and that’s what they’re all about. 

  • Anonymous

    She looks absolutely gorgeous.

    He looks kinda like he should charging up San Juan Hill.

    –GothamTomato
    gothamtomato.etsy.com

    • Catlover2x

      Oooh! Arsenic and Old Lace! 

    • Anonymous

       My thoughts exactly! TR, back to life.

  • Anonymous

    She looks absolutely gorgeous.

    He looks kinda like he should charging up San Juan Hill.

    –GothamTomato
    gothamtomato.etsy.com

  • Anonymous

    She looks absolutely gorgeous.

    He looks kinda like he should charging up San Juan Hill.

    –GothamTomato
    gothamtomato.etsy.com

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Beautiful color on a beautiful woman.  Works for me.  

  • Anonymous

     Meh. I don’t like the bodice/boob holder. It’s not ‘big’ enough, maybe, should fit a little lower, more under her boobs than hitting her 3/4 of the way down? Johnny is Johnny, but those bandanas are lame.

  • Anonymous

     Meh. I don’t like the bodice/boob holder. It’s not ‘big’ enough, maybe, should fit a little lower, more under her boobs than hitting her 3/4 of the way down? Johnny is Johnny, but those bandanas are lame.

  • MarFar

    I’d like Penelope’s dress a lot better if it were all one fabric. 

    For once, though, Stella McCartney *almost* got something right…

  • MarFar

    I’d like Penelope’s dress a lot better if it were all one fabric. 

    For once, though, Stella McCartney *almost* got something right…

  • MarFar

    I’d like Penelope’s dress a lot better if it were all one fabric. 

    For once, though, Stella McCartney *almost* got something right…

  • MamaTiger

    My God, how does she even manage to stand in those shoes, let alone walk?   Killer, yes, but also killing, IMO!

    I’m a bit undecided about the dress because of the boobs.  Otherwise, it looks smashing on her — great color, and it fits surprisingly well considering that she’s not a stick.  Once again, though, I’m missing jewelry.  Why has all the jewelry suddenly been left behind?

  • MamaTiger

    My God, how does she even manage to stand in those shoes, let alone walk?   Killer, yes, but also killing, IMO!

    I’m a bit undecided about the dress because of the boobs.  Otherwise, it looks smashing on her — great color, and it fits surprisingly well considering that she’s not a stick.  Once again, though, I’m missing jewelry.  Why has all the jewelry suddenly been left behind?

  • MamaTiger

    My God, how does she even manage to stand in those shoes, let alone walk?   Killer, yes, but also killing, IMO!

    I’m a bit undecided about the dress because of the boobs.  Otherwise, it looks smashing on her — great color, and it fits surprisingly well considering that she’s not a stick.  Once again, though, I’m missing jewelry.  Why has all the jewelry suddenly been left behind?

  • andyleigh

    You may not be able to criticize Mr. Depp, TLo, but I sure as hell can.  Do you suppose he has a sweating problem, or is prone to drooling or something?  How else to explain his constant need to have half a dozen bandanas, scarves and handkerchiefs hanging from his person at any given time?  There’s a moisture factor in there somewhere and I intend to get to the bottom of it!

    Ms. Cruz, on the other hand appears to be appropriately corseted and shaped for this dress, which is such a great improvement over the other day.  I love the shoes.  My only quibble is that the top of the dress looks like a scuba suit.  But hey, you’ve got to confine those giant girls somehow, so kudos to her for squeezing them in there and looking smashing in the process.  It almost makes the horror of that negligee/track suit she had on the other day fade away.  Almost.

    • Rina

      scuba is in style now, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of it

    • Rina

      scuba is in style now, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of it

    • Rina

      scuba is in style now, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of it

  • andyleigh

    You may not be able to criticize Mr. Depp, TLo, but I sure as hell can.  Do you suppose he has a sweating problem, or is prone to drooling or something?  How else to explain his constant need to have half a dozen bandanas, scarves and handkerchiefs hanging from his person at any given time?  There’s a moisture factor in there somewhere and I intend to get to the bottom of it!

    Ms. Cruz, on the other hand appears to be appropriately corseted and shaped for this dress, which is such a great improvement over the other day.  I love the shoes.  My only quibble is that the top of the dress looks like a scuba suit.  But hey, you’ve got to confine those giant girls somehow, so kudos to her for squeezing them in there and looking smashing in the process.  It almost makes the horror of that negligee/track suit she had on the other day fade away.  Almost.

  • JudyS

    So Johnny will probably be not only dressing like this but wearing exactly the same clothes when he’s 80–they will just be a bit more abraded.
    I don’t like her dress but I like her in it.

  • JudyS

    So Johnny will probably be not only dressing like this but wearing exactly the same clothes when he’s 80–they will just be a bit more abraded.
    I don’t like her dress but I like her in it.

  • JudyS

    So Johnny will probably be not only dressing like this but wearing exactly the same clothes when he’s 80–they will just be a bit more abraded.
    I don’t like her dress but I like her in it.

  • SmartAss

    I think Johnny looks great! But I think his outfit looks like SHIT! Granted, the outfit doesn’t look that bad from the back, but facing front is horrible.. and yes, it is classic Johnny Depp, but he could look soo much better … sorry, he looks GREAT! His clothes could look soo much better.

    And, yes, perky blueberry ice cream cones for Ms. Cruz, but honestly she looks great, fun and charming, especially after that last outfit blunder.

    Just swoonin over Johnny, but swearin over his outfit

  • SmartAss

    I think Johnny looks great! But I think his outfit looks like SHIT! Granted, the outfit doesn’t look that bad from the back, but facing front is horrible.. and yes, it is classic Johnny Depp, but he could look soo much better … sorry, he looks GREAT! His clothes could look soo much better.

    And, yes, perky blueberry ice cream cones for Ms. Cruz, but honestly she looks great, fun and charming, especially after that last outfit blunder.

    Just swoonin over Johnny, but swearin over his outfit

  • SmartAss

    I think Johnny looks great! But I think his outfit looks like SHIT! Granted, the outfit doesn’t look that bad from the back, but facing front is horrible.. and yes, it is classic Johnny Depp, but he could look soo much better … sorry, he looks GREAT! His clothes could look soo much better.

    And, yes, perky blueberry ice cream cones for Ms. Cruz, but honestly she looks great, fun and charming, especially after that last outfit blunder.

    Just swoonin over Johnny, but swearin over his outfit

  • George Fistonich

    Omg that line about ice cream wins 2011 comment of the year.

  • Anonymous

     ” There are worse things in life than to have your boobs compared to a delicious treat.”

    I bet the bambino Cruz thoroughly agrees!

    She looks great.
    He looks like the eccentric gardener in an Ivory/Merchant film.

  • Anonymous

     ” There are worse things in life than to have your boobs compared to a delicious treat.”

    I bet the bambino Cruz thoroughly agrees!

    She looks great.
    He looks like the eccentric gardener in an Ivory/Merchant film.

  • Anonymous

     ” There are worse things in life than to have your boobs compared to a delicious treat.”

    I bet the bambino Cruz thoroughly agrees!

    She looks great.
    He looks like the eccentric gardener in an Ivory/Merchant film.

  • George Fistonich

    Omg that line about ice cream wins 2011 comment of the year.

  • George Fistonich

    Omg that line about ice cream wins 2011 comment of the year.

  • MC

    Agreed on her but no points off Johnny for the intentionally ripped pants on the RC? 

  • MC

    Agreed on her but no points off Johnny for the intentionally ripped pants on the RC? 

  • MC

    Agreed on her but no points off Johnny for the intentionally ripped pants on the RC? 

  • scottyf

    As Soul Brothers T&Lo have said before: the man has his own style. I gotta respect him for that. The man puts thought behind his ensembles. Even if it seems at times the thought may be crack-induced, it nevertheless is thought.

    It sure is a damn sight more interesting than most of the male carbon copies that appear on the RC, imho.

    • Noelle

       Plus he’s just delicious. :-)

  • scottyf

    As Soul Brothers T&Lo have said before: the man has his own style. I gotta respect him for that. The man puts thought behind his ensembles. Even if it seems at times the thought may be crack-induced, it nevertheless is thought.

    It sure is a damn sight more interesting than most of the male carbon copies that appear on the RC, imho.

  • ASK

    The seam that is supposed to be UNDER her breasy is about 2 inches too high.  (I hate when designers do no account for breasts.)  Otherwise very good.  

    • Kimmeister

      Agreed about the poor fit on the bust.  Had it fit properly, I would’ve liked it because she looks otherwise flawless.

      I do like Johnny’s white vest and the pocket square!  Everything else, not so much. 

  • ASK

    The seam that is supposed to be UNDER her breasy is about 2 inches too high.  (I hate when designers do no account for breasts.)  Otherwise very good.  

  • ASK

    The seam that is supposed to be UNDER her breasy is about 2 inches too high.  (I hate when designers do no account for breasts.)  Otherwise very good.  

  • MilaXX

    Compared to that Givenchy outfit , Penelope looks 20lbs lighter. I’m not 100% sold on the blue scoops of ice cream effect, but the fit is fabulous and the shoe are indeed killer. My score 8.5/10
    Johnny looks a whole lost less crazy than he did in that zoot suit he wore at the Disneyland premiere so I give him credit for that. In fact if he didn’t have on 50eleven things hanging off him between bandanas, suspenders and pocket watch chain I’d score him higher. 7.5/10 Total score 8/10

  • MilaXX

    Compared to that Givenchy outfit , Penelope looks 20lbs lighter. I’m not 100% sold on the blue scoops of ice cream effect, but the fit is fabulous and the shoe are indeed killer. My score 8.5/10
    Johnny looks a whole lost less crazy than he did in that zoot suit he wore at the Disneyland premiere so I give him credit for that. In fact if he didn’t have on 50eleven things hanging off him between bandanas, suspenders and pocket watch chain I’d score him higher. 7.5/10 Total score 8/10

  • MilaXX

    Compared to that Givenchy outfit , Penelope looks 20lbs lighter. I’m not 100% sold on the blue scoops of ice cream effect, but the fit is fabulous and the shoe are indeed killer. My score 8.5/10
    Johnny looks a whole lost less crazy than he did in that zoot suit he wore at the Disneyland premiere so I give him credit for that. In fact if he didn’t have on 50eleven things hanging off him between bandanas, suspenders and pocket watch chain I’d score him higher. 7.5/10 Total score 8/10

  • jzzy55

    The ends of her hair look fried. Time for a trim. 

  • jzzy55

    The ends of her hair look fried. Time for a trim. 

  • Anonymous

    I like the dress, but it is a skosh tight through the bodice IMO.  Lots of pulling- maybe a hair more space would have eliminated. She still looks AMAZING though.

  • Anonymous

    I like the dress, but it is a skosh tight through the bodice IMO.  Lots of pulling- maybe a hair more space would have eliminated. She still looks AMAZING though.

  • Anonymous

    I like the dress, but it is a skosh tight through the bodice IMO.  Lots of pulling- maybe a hair more space would have eliminated. She still looks AMAZING though.

  • marciekr

    I just don’t get it – why is Stella McCartney worn so often?  She is a horrible designer.  It’s like she had to ruin a potentially gorgeous dress.   Except for the top part, Cruz looks wonderful.  Johnny just looks like Johnny.

  • marciekr

    I just don’t get it – why is Stella McCartney worn so often?  She is a horrible designer.  It’s like she had to ruin a potentially gorgeous dress.   Except for the top part, Cruz looks wonderful.  Johnny just looks like Johnny.

  • Judy_J

    Penny’s dress….good color, great fit.  But I’m not crazy about the seam placement under the bust.  It’s a minor quibble, though.  Johnny Depp is Johnny Depp.  His eccentric outfits are part of his charm.  I agree with your assessment…8/10. 

  • Judy_J

    Penny’s dress….good color, great fit.  But I’m not crazy about the seam placement under the bust.  It’s a minor quibble, though.  Johnny Depp is Johnny Depp.  His eccentric outfits are part of his charm.  I agree with your assessment…8/10. 

  • Judy_J

    Penny’s dress….good color, great fit.  But I’m not crazy about the seam placement under the bust.  It’s a minor quibble, though.  Johnny Depp is Johnny Depp.  His eccentric outfits are part of his charm.  I agree with your assessment…8/10. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/kbryna kbryna frogboots

     The ice-cream scoop boobs don’t work for me. As for our darling Johnny – I actually LOVE the waistcoat and striped shirt – is it seersucker? It would be amazing if that was a seersucker shirt. The scarves and bandanas are a bit much, agreed, but if you removed those? I’d be loving his look.

  • http://profiles.google.com/kbryna kbryna frogboots

     The ice-cream scoop boobs don’t work for me. As for our darling Johnny – I actually LOVE the waistcoat and striped shirt – is it seersucker? It would be amazing if that was a seersucker shirt. The scarves and bandanas are a bit much, agreed, but if you removed those? I’d be loving his look.

  • http://profiles.google.com/kbryna kbryna frogboots

     The ice-cream scoop boobs don’t work for me. As for our darling Johnny – I actually LOVE the waistcoat and striped shirt – is it seersucker? It would be amazing if that was a seersucker shirt. The scarves and bandanas are a bit much, agreed, but if you removed those? I’d be loving his look.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think that dress fits her. Your boobs are not supposed to come out the bottom of your boob-holder. 

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think that dress fits her. Your boobs are not supposed to come out the bottom of your boob-holder. 

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think that dress fits her. Your boobs are not supposed to come out the bottom of your boob-holder. 

  • Meghan

     Sorry, all I see when I look at them here is The Bridesmaid and The Bandit. 

  • Meghan

     Sorry, all I see when I look at them here is The Bridesmaid and The Bandit. 

  • Meghan

     Sorry, all I see when I look at them here is The Bridesmaid and The Bandit. 

  • elizabeth

     but johnny depp IS like an adorable cocker spaniel. i mean he’s adorable, sometimes clean and I certainly want to tie a bandanna around him. 

  • elizabeth

     but johnny depp IS like an adorable cocker spaniel. i mean he’s adorable, sometimes clean and I certainly want to tie a bandanna around him. 

  • elizabeth

     but johnny depp IS like an adorable cocker spaniel. i mean he’s adorable, sometimes clean and I certainly want to tie a bandanna around him. 

  • tom

    I must respectfully disagree with you guys.  I don’t think this dress fits her well at all.  The bottom seam of the “boob scoop” thingy hits her at an odd place, not really at the bottom her bust.  And there is most unfortunate pulling and puckering in that area and the midriff.  I just don’t see the love here.  True, MUCH better than that hiddy Givenchy POS but still not a great fit.  Nice color though.  And he does look fresh. Fresh from the groomers.  Stupid bandana.

    • tom

      Wait a minute!  I just clicked through all the photos and the last one of them standing with thier backs to the camera – is that an entirely different fabric for the back of the dress?  It doesn’t look like the shiny blue velvet from the front but rathera black or darker navy matte fabric.  Too odd, me no likey. 

    • tom

      Wait a minute!  I just clicked through all the photos and the last one of them standing with thier backs to the camera – is that an entirely different fabric for the back of the dress?  It doesn’t look like the shiny blue velvet from the front but rathera black or darker navy matte fabric.  Too odd, me no likey. 

    • tom

      Wait a minute!  I just clicked through all the photos and the last one of them standing with thier backs to the camera – is that an entirely different fabric for the back of the dress?  It doesn’t look like the shiny blue velvet from the front but rathera black or darker navy matte fabric.  Too odd, me no likey. 

  • tom

    I must respectfully disagree with you guys.  I don’t think this dress fits her well at all.  The bottom seam of the “boob scoop” thingy hits her at an odd place, not really at the bottom her bust.  And there is most unfortunate pulling and puckering in that area and the midriff.  I just don’t see the love here.  True, MUCH better than that hiddy Givenchy POS but still not a great fit.  Nice color though.  And he does look fresh. Fresh from the groomers.  Stupid bandana.

  • tom

    I must respectfully disagree with you guys.  I don’t think this dress fits her well at all.  The bottom seam of the “boob scoop” thingy hits her at an odd place, not really at the bottom her bust.  And there is most unfortunate pulling and puckering in that area and the midriff.  I just don’t see the love here.  True, MUCH better than that hiddy Givenchy POS but still not a great fit.  Nice color though.  And he does look fresh. Fresh from the groomers.  Stupid bandana.

  • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

    Oh, I can criticize his outfit.  His style has morphed from effortlessly quirky and eclectic into a preening affectation.  Dangling suspenders is just silly.  If he really were the free spirited bohemian why hasn’t anything about his style morphed or matured or changed in 20 years?  I guess the fact that his clothes look relatively new and clean is a change, but he’s become like a Gillian Wearing photo where only the eyes change.

    Her body looks fantastic in that dress, the color is gorgeous and her hair is so pretty and shiny, but velvet?  In Cannes? Really?  A minor quibble though, because the overall look is really beautiful.

  • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

    Oh, I can criticize his outfit.  His style has morphed from effortlessly quirky and eclectic into a preening affectation.  Dangling suspenders is just silly.  If he really were the free spirited bohemian why hasn’t anything about his style morphed or matured or changed in 20 years?  I guess the fact that his clothes look relatively new and clean is a change, but he’s become like a Gillian Wearing photo where only the eyes change.

    Her body looks fantastic in that dress, the color is gorgeous and her hair is so pretty and shiny, but velvet?  In Cannes? Really?  A minor quibble though, because the overall look is really beautiful.

  • http://visceralresponse.com Dina dV

    Oh, I can criticize his outfit.  His style has morphed from effortlessly quirky and eclectic into a preening affectation.  Dangling suspenders is just silly.  If he really were the free spirited bohemian why hasn’t anything about his style morphed or matured or changed in 20 years?  I guess the fact that his clothes look relatively new and clean is a change, but he’s become like a Gillian Wearing photo where only the eyes change.

    Her body looks fantastic in that dress, the color is gorgeous and her hair is so pretty and shiny, but velvet?  In Cannes? Really?  A minor quibble though, because the overall look is really beautiful.

  • Lulu

    Her dress: I love the color, but I really don’t like what it does in the chest area. And is that velvet? The other day, her buddy Salma was wearing leather. It’s Springtime in Cannes! What’s with all the heavy fabrics and animal hides? Now her shoes are a different story. Those things are fabuloso!

    Johnny: I guess this is the thing in Cannes this year. The women are willing to sweat in the name of fashion and the men look like they were out running errands and went straight to the event from Costco.

    • sunnygirl

      Johnny didn’t just come from Costco–he just found the ark of the covenant!!

  • Lulu

    Her dress: I love the color, but I really don’t like what it does in the chest area. And is that velvet? The other day, her buddy Salma was wearing leather. It’s Springtime in Cannes! What’s with all the heavy fabrics and animal hides? Now her shoes are a different story. Those things are fabuloso!

    Johnny: I guess this is the thing in Cannes this year. The women are willing to sweat in the name of fashion and the men look like they were out running errands and went straight to the event from Costco.

  • Lulu

    Her dress: I love the color, but I really don’t like what it does in the chest area. And is that velvet? The other day, her buddy Salma was wearing leather. It’s Springtime in Cannes! What’s with all the heavy fabrics and animal hides? Now her shoes are a different story. Those things are fabuloso!

    Johnny: I guess this is the thing in Cannes this year. The women are willing to sweat in the name of fashion and the men look like they were out running errands and went straight to the event from Costco.

  • kdv

    The scarf doesn’t bother me but the holey hat and pants … 

  • kdv

    The scarf doesn’t bother me but the holey hat and pants … 

  • kdv

    The scarf doesn’t bother me but the holey hat and pants … 

  • Anonymous

    Agree with many here that the “scoops” don’t fit as well as they could, but she looks so amazing it doesn’t matter all that much. That color blue is amazing on her. I think she’s getting more beautiful as time passes…

  • Anonymous

    I kind of hate the boob scoops, but Ms. Cruz looks fab…especially compared to the previous debacle.  The heels really are killa!  Thankfully she has Johnny and that wall to assist with balance.  ;)

    Agree with TLo on Johnny’s scarf hanging from the suspender strap…why? I don’t get it when I see rockers with them either.  The ones around his neck…eh…ok, I guess…but not really a fan.  It’s his thing though, so whateva.   Love the shirt, vest, pocket squares, pocket watch chain, sunglasses, hat (would prefer no holes in it though…lol!) and suspenders…color combination…it all works.  I think he looks better than his usual (clean…lol!)

    I’ll give them both a 9/10.

  • Anonymous

    Depp is delightful, completely sui generis in all respects — so he has a lifetime pass, if you ask me.  Penelope is pretty darn delightful her own self … and so gorgeous here that any “wish the length was like the model’s” quibble I might have is immaterial.  She looks fantastic!   (I prefer her hair this way, but unlike some, I have no problem with the occasional bangs-and-high-ponytail she’s sported at Cannes — it’s gives her a sweet touch of the gamine.)

  • up with pod people

     Does anyone else notice that Penelope’s dress looks like calm water at night? I was all set to give it side eye for being mf’n midnight velvet in May, plus boob separation… and then I spotted the horizon idea and the way the light was hitting the folds. Calm blue ocean (at midnight!). I wish the break had been a straight line, only.

    Depp, I’d steal his outfit almost whole hog and put it on my mister. I love his style.

  • jesinalbuquerque

    Um, those hanging suspenders? If they were a little shorter, they’d frame his ass nicely. I just don’t get it.

     

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Penny looks great. Johnny is Johnny.

  • Mac

    Even the model’s boobs look wonky so I think the dress is the problem, I don’t blame Penelope who’s kind of working it.
    And ohh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny… Coco said take something off, in your case always multiply by at least 4.
    I mean, does anyone need a spare scarf hanging from their decorative suspenders? that’s just moronic.

  • Anonymous

    Why is it women always must dress more formally at these things?

    I like the shape of her dress but I don’t like velvet in the spring/summer.  Great shoes, etc.  8/10

    I wish he had dressed up a bit more and lose the scarfs and black shoes.  7/10
     

  • Anonymous

     Her shoes are too matchy matchy to her dress! She’s a 7/10. He is what he is, I guess.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

    She looks fab.  I’m tired of JD though.  Ripped knees?  Really?  C’mon.  Seems like he’s trying a little too hard.

  • Anonymous

     The fit needs to be a bit better in the bodice. The upper portion should be slightly bigger so the bottom seam of it sits lower, below her breasts, which would eliminate that weird wideness and bunching of the deeper blue velvet in that upper-rib-cage area. But the style and the color are 10.10 on her. :-)

  • http://profiles.google.com/mochizukisan kyasarin mochizuki

    Those heels are the shit. They are so awesome, they overwhelm the matchiness and render the look fab.

    I kinda hate on Benny & Joon/What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? now because apparently Depp will not stop utilizing his wardrobe from those two films as if it’s appropriate attire in this century, at his age, until folks not only burn all of his clothes but every print of those two films.

    We get it, Johnny, you’re Unique, like an artisan snowflake.

    (I wish my boobs looked like a tasty treat. Maybe they do; it’s hard to tell from this angle.)

  • Anonymous

    Penelope: HOT TO DEATH. LOVVVVE the hair. Fit on the boobs is a little strange, but as a petite girl with breasticles of my own, I know the pain of the struggle to fit the chest properly.

    Johnny: It’s Johnny. Who even cares what he’s wearing.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MNMVM2GPVUEIOJXBOSLCXKAW4U judy brown

    She’s gorgeous, but the gown looks like someone scissored up a scuba suit and tacked the top onto an otherwise cute velvet dress.

    Johnny couldn’t pull his suspenders up for the red carpet? Granpa’s getting forgetful. 

  • http://karensbooksandchocolate.blogspot.com/ Karen K.

     Johnny IS an adorable cocker spaniel, but can’t he afford pants without holes?  And what’s with the dangling suspenders?  Penelope’s dress is a vast improvement but I agree, the fit in the bust is just off.  The shoes are awesome, but they frighten me. 

  • janestrainfink

    The hem of the dress needs to come up about 2 inches.  
     

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DO54ICWQLRD2STHRSELEATLSKY Cindy

    Oh Johnny.. you have the eccentric “well he lives in France” look.  Please, for lthe love of anything holy, stop dressing like you are still starring on 21 Jump Street.   Would a suit– heck even a decent pair of pants and a button down shirt look appropriate.?  Of course.  Start dressing like a well put together  man in his 40′s please….. not looking like you walked off the In Living Color Soundstage…

    here- well the dress is pretty but it does have the well, look at my blue boobies type thing going on.   I do like the shoes.  Totally impractical for me.. but still nice.

  • Lisa

     LOVE the dress, and even the matchy shoes don’t bother me!  And I know Johnny dresses like a crazy man, but I really just love what he has on.  It’s very Cannes!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BWN6OXJWRPL253P64WTV6VFMOA Beth G

    The top of the dress looks like it’s made out of neoprene. 

  • Anonymous

    I do not love the two-tone blue boobs, but she does look amazing.

    I can’t score Depp, I think he’s extremely attractive and this is his look, silly as it might be.  I am morally certain (sans any evidence at all) that he began in this style, especially in its scruffier incarnations, in order to look dashing despite his slight build and moderate height (I do not for an instant believe the oft-cited 5’10″ as his height. Not barefoot, anyway).  Why he continues is unknowable, but it doesn’t spoil the view for me.

  • margaret meyers

    I think Johnny might have looked better with some buckskin shoes and fresh flannels, but I like his look and I think he makes it work. 
    I think he should start to go Clooney (maybe we should say “go Gere” — Richard Gere did it first): that boyish look won’t last forever and he needs to ease us all into the idea that he is going to be 50 in just a couple of years.

  • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

    great dress
    great color
    great hair
    GREAT GREAT SHOES

    i think she chose the givenchy herself cos it is just so so beautiful.

    he always looks great, regardless of what he wears, he’s the only guy whose appearance i have ever previous spouse {no. 2, in many ways} envy.

    ps. the fashion industry DOES have a hard time dressing small women w/, um, attenuated figures. it really does.

  • Natalie Griffiths

    I must be the only person in the world who dislikes Johnny Depp. I find his acting incredibly hammy. Penelope though, I love. She looks delicious in that dress. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/marieanne.d.hunt Marieanne D’Antonio-Hunt

    She is just as cute as a bug in that dress.  LOVE the shoes.

  • Anonymous

    This dress is much better than several of the Stella items we’ve seen lately.  Pen is perfection itself here.

  • Anonymous

    Agree about Johnny – it’s who he is (or who he wants the world to think he is). Either way, if you have to be consistent across the board, yes? If you’re going to let Helena Bonham Carter get away with the crazy because it’s what you expect and only “grade” her against herself, then you have to do the same for Johnny. I think he looks relatively light and breezy here, which is not what he usually does. He doesn’t have so many layers on, like he usually does, but while he does love his hats (as does his alter-ego Captain Sparrow), I don’t think the jungle safari man fedora mishmash was a good choice.

    –M

  • Anonymous

     What do you mean you can’t criticize his outfit?  He has holes in his pants, for crying out loud!  4/10