Jennifer Lopez, Showing the Goods in Hakaan

Posted on May 06, 2011

Jennifer Lopez visited BET’s “106 & Park” at BET Studios in New York City in a Hakaan dress which redefines the term “bandage dress.”

Hakaan Fall 2011 Collection

 

 

Everyone else is looking away, but there’s one queen taking it all in and thinking, “This bitch is TRAGIC.” Can you spot him, readers?

 

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Oh, Jenny. How disappointing. You have once again forsaken the path of the diva in pursuit of fuckability. For an audience that all seems to be quietly amused by your spectacle, probably because you’re the same age as their mothers and you have successfully made it very clear to all and sundry that you are panty-free today. They’re all “Yeah, I’ll hold the poster or the CD if you want, but please don’t make me look at Mrs. Anthony’s hip flesh trying to break free from its fabric cage, mister.”

Disappointing, Jenny. You are put on notice. We expect to see you back in diamonds and maribou feathers in the next 48 to 72 hours.

[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, thestylistsite.com]

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  • aussiegal77

    Awful. Love the shoes though.

  • aussiegal77

    Awful. Love the shoes though.

  • http://profiles.google.com/amndad amanda lynn

    …i like the shoes and the top…

  • http://profiles.google.com/amndad amanda lynn

    …i like the shoes and the top…

  • Psychomama

    Looks like she’s trying to hide grill marks.

  • Psychomama

    Looks like she’s trying to hide grill marks.

  • Anonymous

    Top row, readers far left.

  • Anonymous

    Top row, readers far left.

  • Jrittenberg

    She’s a MAGICIAN! She made her chest disappear and her legs look fat at the same time!

  • Jrittenberg

    She’s a MAGICIAN! She made her chest disappear and her legs look fat at the same time!

  • fafafab

    so tacky

  • tom

    Sweet wrestling Mary on a parade float, that is one awful dress! I don’t care what age, how slammin’ your body is that is an unflattering, ugly dress. Some of the bandaids do bear an unfortunate resemblence to actual band-aids falling off an old wound. Just bizarre. And yes, the young queen in training in back is totally thinking “Giiirl, who are you trying to fool? I’d have that bitch out of that thing and into some FABULOUS gown of my own design faster than I throw a bone in gym class.”

  • tom

    Sweet wrestling Mary on a parade float, that is one awful dress! I don’t care what age, how slammin’ your body is that is an unflattering, ugly dress. Some of the bandaids do bear an unfortunate resemblence to actual band-aids falling off an old wound. Just bizarre. And yes, the young queen in training in back is totally thinking “Giiirl, who are you trying to fool? I’d have that bitch out of that thing and into some FABULOUS gown of my own design faster than I throw a bone in gym class.”

  • Anonymous

    My GOD she looks terrible. It’s amazing how one dress can mess up so much gorgeous.

  • Anonymous

    Are the guys smiling, in the first photo, because they like it or because they are trying not to laugh?

    From her messy hair to her shiny shoes, yuk.

    • RP

      The guy in the glasses in that first photo is definitely laughing.

  • http://twitter.com/pinup_ghoul Beth

    She needs to send that back, AND send a nasty letter to her stylist. She hasn’t looked this terrible in years. She should request a favor from the designer, because that dress didn’t do any for her!

    Dumb question, but: No Drag Race Reunion recap?

    • Cclaussen3

      I tweeted Tlo about the reunion recap also. Please Tlo!!!

  • SusieQ!

    UGH her ‘sexyface’ is just comical!! She needs to practice new facial expressions, this blank, mouth hanging open, squint-eye thing she’s been doing for years is getting ridiculous.

  • CPK

    hahaha! The judgmental little queen is hilarious and adorable

  • Kryall99

    All I hear when I look at this is Stacy & Clinton’s admonition, “Don’t try to compete with 20 years olds, because they always win. This looked ridiculous on the runway and even sillier on JLo. I know the shoes probably cost a pretty penny, but they look like payless cheapies.

  • manilagrrrl

    The dress would’ve been better in the grey, but in the end, JLo CAN’T look bad! She’s too pretty and sexy. I love her too much.

    • tom

      Oh honey! It’s precisely BECAUSE she is too pretty and sexy that this awful dress is a travesty. She doesn’t need to go this route at all, it ends up biting her in her ample but pretty ass.

  • Cecerslouisers

    I saw this on Dlisted the other day. What an atrocity. It looks like Edward Scissorhands tried to grope her.

  • MilaXX

    .All I hear when I look at this is Stacy & Clinton’s admonition, “Don’t try to compete with 20 years olds, because they always win. This looked ridiculous on the runway and even sillier on JLo. I know the shoes probably cost a pretty penny, but they look like payless cheapies.

  • TheGirlInTheAfternoon

    That dress belongs on no one with more curves than the runway model. Jennifer Lopez is so beautiful and she consistently dresses in a manner that makes her look semi-ridiculous. However, I do enjoy the stills from the “I’m Real (Murder Remix)” video in the background, as well as the pursed-mouth judgment coming off of the queen in the background.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YG4CJVFIDWHGICQPLJFSEZ3IOI StaceyJ

    And the whole audience sits in horror as they wonder if the straight-jacket dress is going to to mainstream. Blech.

  • Jonny

    I can’t tell if they added material to the top to accommodate her more ample figure, or if her figure is stretching the banding at the top. I prefer the gray because I think this white loses a lot of the detailing and it just looks like her body is pulling the dress apart.

    Also she is doing the same amount of makeup that Shangela did for the Drag Race reunion, which is to say hardly none. A quick slap of dollar store bronzer and blush. My God ladies, you’re on TV – wear a little bit of makeup please.

  • fig

    To be fair, i spot a bit of panty in two of those pictures.

    • tom

      Well, you have much better eyes than I do! And quite frankly, having her panties make a cameo doesn’t make this dress any less horrific. Just tackier.

    • SMM

      I do not see it either. @69bc1f968011fae72479a4d24e9957d5:disqus

    • Laura

      It took some careful looking, but in one photo I can see just a teensy edge of a nude panty in the upper right corner of the hip opening, too. It’s still skanky as all getout, but at least she’s not going commando in front of a bunch of kids!

      • SMM

        @3bda855b0f421249123b5b0db93390de:disqus Are you sure that is not a shadow?

    • Tartu

      I also see a tiny bit of nude panty in one of the pictures. However, it does not excuse the fashion travesty of Jenny in that dress. Just say NO!

    • Tartu

      I also see a tiny bit of nude panty in one of the pictures. However, it does not excuse the fashion travesty of Jenny in that dress. Just say NO!

  • http://profiles.google.com/thisiscelia Celia

    Hip cage, ha! Is it Halloween already? ‘Cuz she’s busting out her “sexy mummy” look. This would work a lot better without the hip cage and if all the “bandages” were much thinner straps in a softer fabric.

  • JonnyF8

    Wow, the audience is awesome. it reminds me of when I watched American Bandstand as a kid and would pick out which guys were Gay (most of them.)!

  • Prisoner24601

    I sort of feel like Jen Aniston’s orange tit window top is the soul mate of the hip cage here. So bad.

  • Jmissinmass

    Queen Tut has emerged from the tomb.

  • Janine

    I once played in a pit band for a musical called, “Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?” Those shoes are reminding me of the same thing, and that’s bad since she is likely panty free.

  • Mac

    So tragic, the mummy look, plus the blow-up doll face she constanly wears, is really disappoiting.

  • Pterodactyl

    Shoes are great though.

  • Liz

    Yikes. At some age you have to stop trying to look like a teenage tramp and try for something a little more sophisticated. I hope she gets the memo.

  • Queeniethebold

    With so many assets, why why WHY does she insist on being so skanky? The dress is too short. The no-underwear aspect of it is simply ick. She could be *such* a spectacularish diva. Ewww. She really does look tragique and hopelessly bad.

  • andyleigh

    And again with the mouth-breather pose. Why, Lord, WHY!?! I’d say that her undergarments were too tight, thus forcing her to gasp through her mouth but, clearly, there are no undergarments on which to place the blame.

    This is sad. Desperate and sad.

    • ask

      :o( Some people ARE mouth breathers because of allergies and a deviated septum.

    • ask

      By the way, my comment was “kind of” a joke. Although I’d probably suffocate if I were ever gagged.

      • andyleigh

        That’s understandable, ask. Unfortunately, it would appear that every woman in Hollywood is suffering from allergies and a deviated septum these days. It’s just not all that attractive. Some are worse than others, but still.

  • scottyf
  • cacdusty

    The front flap at the center of the bottom hem is especially tragic.

  • DameCultism

    It seems to be utterly impossible for her to close her mouth. UGH.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-John-Kostrzewa/1237573396 Paul John Kostrzewa

    TLo, did you see Jennifer performs on American Idol last night? That outfit is worth ripping. And it proves you are right about her wearing a bunch of droopy diapers lately.

  • Gyrefish

    …I rather like it.

    The hip window could stand to be a bit smaller, though.

  • Anonymous

    Well…I love me some JLo, but even I can admit this is bad. I actually wouldn’t mind the bottom or the top if they were on their own and paired with other pieces, but together, this is just rough. Even JennyLo’s hair doesn’t look all that great…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

    I don’t think it’s so bad. Though I could do without the hip flesh….

  • Lulu

    Haha, the look on that little queen’s face truly MAKES the photo.

    She can do so much better. It’s too short, too revealing and just way too young for her. The bitch looks fabulous, but there’s no need to go this far just to prove that she’s still got it.

  • Katinka

    Just….yuck.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sharon.terrill Sharon Terrill

    Actually, I think I do see a bit of panty peeking out of the bottom photo (first one in the gallery). Either that or the lining of the dress slipped.

  • Kaycee

    The whole thing is an over-designed mess. And cut-outs are almost always tacky – this is no exception.

  • Miss Heather

    This dress is absolutely horrifying. On the skeletal-skinny model, it allows us all a view of her jutting hipbone. On JLo, who actually has lovely flesh on her body, it’s causing skin flappage. Shoes are awful – look much like the ones I wore to our 9th grade dance in 1987. And yes, I think I did get them from Payless, or maybe Baker’s.

  • Caaro1947

    ICK!!!

  • http://profiles.google.com/nannettespencer Nannette Spencer

    Does she ever, ever, EVER pose with her mouth closed?! Gah! Drives me bonkers.

    Hate the dress too.

  • Anonymous

    I have to say, that despite the ridiculousness of this dress, JLo looks beautiful. Is she trying to prove she can wear the most horrible clothes and still look great?

  • Anonymous

    Huh.I had no idea J-Lo had even been in the psycho ward, let alone escaped.

  • lala

    She ALMOST managed to break free of that straightjacket. Looks like it was quite a struggle too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    She looks ridiculous.

  • Spcl K

    Seriously, what the HELL!

  • Anonymous

    It’s really a messy dress…and the color totally takes it into bandage/mummy territory. It’s way too short, and although I don’t mind cut outs, these are just slutty.

    Such a beautiful woman, she doesn’t need to try so hard to be sexy…she naturally is. She goes to far into tacky town though…probably thinking it’s hip, sexy, trendy…whatever….she’s wrong! I saw her performance on AI last night…saggy sparkle drawers is not a good look on anyone.
    She’s becoming kind of a joke
    .

  • Anonymous

    Man, JLO by trying too hard, you are showing your age. This dress makes you look old, out of touch and it makes your body look squatty and your legs look fat. She should try dressing her body like Halle Berry…just keep it tight and uncomplicated. You have to be young, super skinny, tall, with legs for days to even think of pulling this off. She may be the most beautiful famous woman in the world but its almost like she doesn’t believe it so she’s overcompensating with these tacky outfits and ultimately defeating the purpose

  • Christina Descaro

    Oh! Oh! I see the phantom panty!

    I do like it on the model, but I don’t think that dress translates beyond a runway look at all. There’s not a single person I can imagine wearing it and making it work. And dear god, the nudie ivory shade is possibly the worst imaginable color for her. Or any living creature, really.

  • Anonymous

    Whoa. Do not like. Not to be harsh, but her face looks like she just woke up from a bender.
    She’s a beautiful woman, but this is just bad.

  • scottyf

    Now that I look at it closely, I think she should be commended for being able to fold and cut a piece of paper into a dress.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MNMVM2GPVUEIOJXBOSLCXKAW4U judy brown

    Small comfort, I know, but I detect the edge of a flesh-colored thong barely peeking through the hip cutout.

  • Maghan

    Oh, honey. No.

  • Anonymous

    I just don’t get dresses like this. Are they ever sexy?

  • Anonymous

    Oh JLo, we’re all proud of what your birthing hips were able to accomplish, but that doesn’t mean that they need their own window display.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Teresa-Rebecca-Cunningham/100000219160779 Teresa Rebecca Cunningham

    It’s too bad that the “window” draws so much attention. Because think that the bodice is really interesting. If the window were removed or lined with a contrasting fabric I think it’d be a really killer dress.

  • http://www.myblackfriendsays.com myblackfriendsays

    ::shakes head::

  • Anonymous

    The shoes are fab. That skirt is giving me hives.

  • Lizajane

    I was temporarily brain dead and thought that she was showing her hugely pregnant belly in some bandage dress. Now THAT would have been interesting!

  • Gigi Louis

    I will never understand her periodic need to prostitute herself this way. The dress is just plain slutty. Looking at it again, it is similar to the toilet paper dress that won me first prize at my friend’s daughter’s bridal shower.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IHWCJIMARF4OOW6PQZQS3RFOOA JillK

    There are no words.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3SVDQEHXHWRY6Q7PMGPO5GHWDM LydiaS

    Anyone over the age of 22 should not be allowed to even think of wearing something that spotlights that particular spot of the body.

  • http://profiles.google.com/meganhuber70 Megan Huber

    She always looks like she is taking a lump a dump when she poses.

  • Lisa

    Oh, just awful. The judgmental queen is right to judge her and be judgerful.

  • Hutchlover

    This is soooo Godawful! It looks like it’s waaaayyy tooo tight in the hips, and you can see bulging amidst the “bandaids”. Really, JLO? Do you think Max & Emme want to see that 10 years down the road? Because you know that internet pictures never die, right?

  • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

    it reminds me of april’s stuff from last season’s project runway.

    it looks as okay on her as it can–it looks better on her than it does on the model–but it’s awful. then again, it is a breath of brilliant & crispy classic & classy air compared to the shoes.

  • Laughing World

    Madame, you are too old for this look. Nice shoes, though.

    • Lisa

      Yes, I forgot to add that in my post – I do love the shoes. But oy, that dress! Just an emphatic NOPE!

  • Anonymous

    I like the idea of the dress, but it belongs on someone younger and it needs to ditch the hip window thing because that part is not working at all. Also needs to lose the weird crotch flap thing… ew.

  • Anonymous

    Well, at least the girl keeps the buzz going. Even if the buzz is bad.

  • Addis R. Pérez

    Those are a lot of fake eyelashes.

  • http://profiles.google.com/mjmillersbb marcia miller

    I kinda like the dress on the model – she makes it look edgy. But the cream color, on “sweet” J LO – looks like a haphazard bandaging job. eek!!

  • Joli

    Insert obligatory chinchilla killer comment here. Man I hate this bitch.

  • CAT

    Let’s work with what we have, shall we?

    She could be wearing a thong with the elastic riding high on her hips. She’s not wearing nude peep-toed shoes. At least she has the ass to work this. If she looks tragic, can you imagine how awful some bony-assed coke head would look in this? Just sayin’.

  • http://profiles.google.com/roseofthestage Emily Rose

    How can a dress that show so much skin be so shapeless? LOVE the shoes, though.

  • fashionablylate

    Why do I not hate this? I think it’s kind of edgy & artsy. Not crazy about the cheapie-looking shoes and her hair needs abit of smoothing, but overall I like it.

  • http://twitter.com/ShelfAfterlife Shelf Afterlife

    Ugh…gross. Dress?

  • SMM

    The curves are really what kill this look. Is Halle Berry curvy? I am thinking she might make this work depending on that. On JLo, though, this is just one big boo-boo.

    • Anonymous

      I actually think it looks better on a curvy lady like JLo than on the skinny model, where the bandages just kind of hang. But that’s not saying much–it looks bad on both of them. What’s that weird bandage draping around the front? Looks like it broke off, and she tucked it into her panties to keep it from dangling.

  • suburbana

    Horrendo!

  • Anonymous

    Oh for the love of god no! Look away indeed!

  • tbk

    Back row, left.

  • Anonymous

    I just hate that look she always makes. Makes me want to punch her in the face.

  • Candy_Barr

    If she were 20 years younger, that dress might be O.K. She is in her 40s, and a mother of two, so no . . .

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    It’s an interesting dress, but the crotch sling in the front is dreadful.

  • Guest – NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!

    God I really hate that look on her face.

  • http://profiles.google.com/mochizukisan kyasarin mochizuki

    I’m trying to figure out why she thought it was a good idea to dress this way in front of a bunch of kids, but, hey, I also can’t figure out why she thought donning this ridiculous mess of a dress (it didn’t even look good on the runway) in any locale was a good idea in the first place. Divafail.

  • http://profiles.google.com/mochizukisan kyasarin mochizuki

    I’m trying to figure out why she thought it was a good idea to dress this way in front of a bunch of kids, but, hey, I also can’t figure out why she thought donning this ridiculous mess of a dress (it didn’t even look good on the runway) in any locale was a good idea in the first place. Divafail.