Penelope Cruz attended the London Premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean Eleventy-Seven: Johnny’s Retirement Fund in a Givenchy haute couture gown. We are very upset, we’re warning you now. In fact, we’re going to do things a little backward here. We’re going to show you the piece as it appeared at its unveiling first:
Gorgeous, oui? And even if it’s not to your taste, you have to admit it’s impeccably made. Now, let’s see how Penelope did.
Ohhhh, honey. That is just not good. The thing about couture – the WHOLE thing about couture – is that it’s hand made and fitted precisely to the wearer. Borrowed couture gowns for red carpet appearances aren’t usually tailor-made for the actress unless she’s a nominee at the Oscars and even then that’s not always the case. Penelope isn’t a sample size. She’s a gorgeous size, but she’s not the right size for this dress. One look at what that zipper was doing and she should have turned it down. We don’t know how anyone could put this on and not see that it doesn’t fit correctly. Granted, we all have our dearly held delusions when it comes to our size, but that’s what stylists are for. They’re paid to tell you that the dress you want to wear doesn’t fit you. We feel kind bad for her – well, as bad as we can feel for a millionaire actress at the premiere of her movie in a borrowed couture gown. It’s not exactly on par with, say, refugees from a natural disaster, but still.
We bitched at her recently for defaulting to the black lacey mermaid gowns too much but we’d rather see her back in one of those than in this attempt to get away from them. Granted, it’s a white lace gown with a mermaid silhouette, but the sleeves and the zippers are an attempt to get away from her usual fare. We think the big mistake here – aside from the fit – is the tank top underneath. The zipped-to-the-neck version on the model looks more chic, but we doubt Penelope’s boobs could have handled the restriction.
IN! You’re crazy, T Lo! She looks GORGEOUS!
OUT! She looks like ten pounds of fabulous stuffed into a five-pound bag!
Minion Opinion on Mia Wasikowska’s lipstick tube of a dress? A resounding IN.
[Photo Credit: getty, wireimage, style.com]