Bradley Cooper for Esquire Magazine

Posted on May 31, 2011

We have many dresses to discuss for the rest of today, so let’s throw a little sausage into the mix before it becomes an all-girl party around here.

Bradley Cooper is  featured in the June/July issue of Esquire magazine photographed by Nigel Parry in an extremely odd editorial. But first, sound bites:

[In his twenties, Cooper] worked the graveyard shift at the Morgans Hotel in New York… One evening, he ferried Leonardo DiCaprio up to his room and Bradley Cooper thought to himself, We are worlds apart. He says he did not mean that in terms of DiCaprio, you are famous, and I, Cooper, am wearing a doorman uniform. He says he was referring to art. DiCaprio, then in 1998, was riding the Titanic swells, and Cooper, enrolled at the Actors Studio, was still pinking in the audience when De Niro came in to guest lecture.

“Since Limitless opened, my agent calls me every morning and asks, ‘Do you feel any different?’ And I’m like, ‘Nope. Do you feel any different?’”

“Thirty-six is a great age for a man, perhaps the perfect age,” I say. He responds, “What about my forties?”

“His father passed away this year. He moved in with his parents in his hometown, Philadelphia, for his final five months. He took his father to an Eagles playoff game on a Sunday and he died the following Saturday. On Cooper’s right hand he wears his father’s wedding ring. He has brought his mother to live with him in his new home in Los Angeles.

“I love having her,” he says. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

While we do find the above to be practically dripping with publicist intervention, we’re not gonna rag on a guy who lost a parent. Dammit.

So let’s rag on the pictures instead! Behold the weirdness:

We’re not magazine editors or stylists or photographers, but we’re pretty sure the goal of a celebrity magazine editorial is not to make the aforementioned celebrity look awful in every single picture. Seriously, except for maybe the cover shot, these are some of the worst pictures of him we’ve ever seen. He’s not on our list, but he’s clearly a good-looking guy and has managed to take some very flattering pictures, but these are awful. He’s giving really bad face in almost every shot.

And what’s with the concept here? We don’t mind a cougar-themed editorial, but there’s something more than a little weird about the implied threeway with two women who look old enough to be his mother. He looks painfully uncomfortable in every shot with them.  There’s an implied gigolo angle, what with the wad of cash in his hand, but we can’t for the life of us imagine why anyone thought that was a good idea. Could you imagine a hot young actress posing in a hotel room with two men old enough to be her father hanging all over her while she clutches a wad of twenties? Who on earth came up with the idea that one of the hottest actors around should pose for an editorial that makes him look a bit creepy and a bit pathetic?

[Photo Credit: Nigel Parry, esquire.com]

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  • Anonymous

    the fuck? I don’t even…

    he’s so hot though, but the cougars creep me out

  • Anonymous

    Especially creepy since he had JUST said his mom moved in with him, and then…  Did she bring a friend?

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.parker Sara Parker

      This is exactly what I was thinking.  Which then makes this whole thing even creepier.  It adds this whole Oedipal overtone to the his story that I didn’t get from the text.  And now that the pictures suggested it, I can’t UNthink it.  BLURG.

    • Anonymous

      So didn’t enter my mind. And it isn’t taking root there even now. Though I seem to be in the minority.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_MVLLDV6VVP63GBHBKOU4KBJDAY Laurie

        Yeah, I just presumed the one woman was his mother based on the editorial.

    • Mariah J

      You read my mind…wtf were they thinking with this shoot

  • http://profiles.google.com/amndad amanda lynn

    i think that it’s hysterical.  what’s with the same photo being taken a few times?  one lying to his right with her foot on (or almost on) his face…?  four of them!

  • Anonymous

    This is…disturbing. But on the other hand, I guess it gives hope to us mere mortals that even someone as astonishingly attractive as Bradley has their off-days on their looks. But yeah…not a good look, Esquire. Yikes.

  • http://profiles.google.com/paigemano Paige Mano

    What’s with a woman putting her foot in Bradley’s face in every other picture?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lauren-Jean-St-Martin/504251897 Lauren Jean St. Martin

    Anyone else think it upped the creepieness factor by a 1000 since they mentioned his mom lived with him, and then they have him posing with the women old enough to be his mom? Because I sure did!

    • Anonymous

      That was the first connection I made and it is TOTALLY creepy.  Ugh.

    • Judy_J

      My thoughts exactly!

  • Anonymous

    He looks good in the cover photo, but the rest made me laugh which I’m sure wasn’t anyone’s goal.

  • Anonymous

    Creepy. Does the photographer have a “mature foot” fetish? 

  • Anonymous

    I like that he’s not doing the “I must brood in every shot! I r a srs actr!” face that most actors give. And I actually like the shot with the water cups. The cougars are really weird, and he does look pretty uncomfortable in several of those shots, but I like the lack of stoicism.

    –M

  • Anonymous

    Not feeling it. I know the PR machine has ben trying to position him as sexiest man alive, but I just don’t get it.
    He just seems vacant.

    –GothamTomato

  • Anonymous

    He looks uncomfortable and goofy, which is refreshing in a way. Can you imagine if he was seriously pulling face? He knows the spread is ridunkulous and he’s being honest about it!

  • Maria Figueroa

    Creeeeeeepy. He also looks like an Emu.

  • Anonymous

    Well, he said his mother is living with him.  Who are we to judge what he and his mother do when they forget the camera is there?  One man’s smokin’ hot babe is another man’s kinky old lady.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, this editorial was a really bad idea. I can’t believe he agreed to it.
    Not only that, but he’s a really attractive guy (even if he seems a bit of an asshole) and they managed to make him look just dorky and unappealing. Way to go, Esquire.  

  • Ted Kane

    Well, it’s Esquire, right?  I wouldn’t expect much better.Apparently, the new rules for being a man include finding a pair of cougars to be your patron.

    I suppose the cover could be seen as a useful illustration of just how tight the waistband on a man’s trousers should be.

  • lawmom2003

    My first thought was, “Oh my f**king God, is that his MOTHER in those photos?” and “What the hell were they thinking?”  (As someone who lost a father-figure in the last year, I can attest that grief makes people do insane, irrational and stupid things, so I don’t think Bradley could be held responsible for this…but, holy shit, that’s a weird spread.)

  • Anonymous

    I can be very forgiving of the photo spreads you boys post. I tend to like them even when everyone else hates them. But this is just…. Oh  my God, what the hell were they thinking? It’s tasteless and weird. I realize Esquire isn’t geared towards women, but I don’t get how this would appeal to anyone.

    Esquire used to be a good magazine. Now it just has pretensions of taste and sophistication. To that end, you’d think they could at least try to put together a better fashion editorial.

  • Anonymous

    These pics are horrible!! Especially after the bit about his mom living with him. Is this supposed to be what his home is like now? Mom and her friends pawing over him? That’s all I could think of looking at these. Wow.

    He is a cutie, though.

  • Anonymous

    I assumed he was supposed to be some kind of gigolo or kept man.  Still very odd.

    • http://twitter.com/TrippyFantana Niknak

      This reminds me of Paul Rudd’s Esquire shoot back in ’03….In the shoot Paul was supposed to be some type of gigolo and there was one photo where he seems to romancing an older lady…kinda creepy…

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3AJ237ND3GAHDQJZ4TLCO4WLRA Emily

    So weird.  I think it’s awesome he’s taking care of his mom though.  Props for that.

  • Anonymous

    Boy, is that stupid.

  • Anonymous

    there isn’t much this guy can do – even discussing a parent who’s passed – to move the needle on the douche bag meter. And after this editorial, make that creepy douche bag. Eewwww….

  • MilaXX

    It just looks so non sexy.

  • Anonymous

    Typically, I would drool all over pics of Bradley cooper, but these images do absolutely nothing. ….even the clothes are kinda drab and unflattering.

  • http://profiles.google.com/sharon.terrill Sharon Terrill

    … especially with a sound bite about bringing his mother to live with him and how much he loves it.  Ew.

  • http://profiles.google.com/amanda.leigh.albert Amanda Albert

    “Behold the weirdness” – anyone else get a Buffy flashback?

  • Anonymous

    I agree that the editorial pics are creepy. However there’s something to be said for a cover design that puts the “person/star/fashion” photo IN FRONT OF THE TYPE! He’s even in front of the title of the magazine. Most women’s fashion mags nowadays put the screaming type headlines in front of the girl on the cover and she’s cropped down to a face and a little piece of a dress. The Esquire cover focus is on Mr. Cooper. As it should be.

    • Anonymous

      “Esquire” does this sort of cover a lot.  While it is true the actor is in front of the type, the type is always so overwhelming large, dense and difficult to read make their covers sort of a tacky, tabloid mess that is barely readable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    How many times does one woman have to put her foot on him?  That part is strange. 

  • aimee_parrott

    Ew.

  • Leslie Streeter

    Well…I kinda liked it. I agree that it’s goofy. But he doesn’t look so much uncomfortable to me as “Wow, what a goofy funny thing we’re doing.” I also agree that it would have seemed predatory with a female starlet.

  • Anonymous

    Gross, that’s just an awful spread. The  cover photo is disturbing, he looks drugged and the hand in the pants is just ugh!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3KCDEX4FOTCFHZP6WLKSOOKUVM Danielle

    The only picture I kind of like is where he’s drinking the coffee and has his finger up – maybe because it’s the least creepy.  But even without the creepy factor, he’s a very handsome man and in these he just doesn’t look good.

  • Anonymous

    He’s cute in that “stirs no lust” kinda way. I think the concept (some variant of these two older broads are wearing out the younger man?) probably sounded cute but we’re just not evolved enough as audience to not find it odd.

    Most movies feature hot younger actresses with (for love or profit or both) men old enough to be their fathers or grandfathers, in any variant of depicted or implied relationship/sexual congress the plot requires. So, as long as the actress is old enough not to raise hints of pedophelia (and I think mid-30′s is old enough) I doubt such a lay out would seem odd – though it could cause comment, it’d be the same ‘spitting in the wind’ comment our culture’s sexist tropes cause over & over again.

  • Anonymous

    O, dear lord!  To accompany a story in which he talks about losing his Father and having his Mother come live with him with these bizarre, couger-themed photos is just…. skeevy.  And while that may be a lovely, traditional bedroom appropriate for many people, it is a totally odd set for Bradley Cooper to look sexy in.  Seriously, this is just a bizarre shot all around.

    • Anonymous

      All the ugly carpets and ugly drapes don’t help at all.

  • Anonymous

    Huh. After reading the comments, I’m out of step, but I’m still not feeling any creepiness connected with him having his mom move in. Families are real and this shoot is so, well, NOT real feeling.

    And I do think this reads as odd, but I think that’s totally down to our ageist-sexist complexes as a culture. I don’t see the same parallels to a similar shoot with the sexes reversed as most of the commenters posting so far.

    A 30-something FULLY CLOTHED neck-to-ankles woman clutching moola while being hovered over by two older guys? By the standards of our media, that’s closer to the stereotype of the money-grubbing female manipulating the males than the creepy – predatory vibe.

  • Anonymous

    I’m assuming this concept is just a take off from the “Hangover” movie…Bradley looks rather hungover and spent in all these shots.  A blackout adventure with kinky old rich broads…only explanation. ;)

    Too many repetitive and similar shots…appropriate concept, I guess, just poorly executed.  He could have been gradually shown in more states of undress throughout the series (non-gratuitous nudity is appreciated!)

  • Mallory Bateman

    did anyone else notice the ring on the hand trying to slide down his pants? there’s no way in hell the Duchess would be pulling any crap like that.

  • http://onebluetree.blogspot.com/ Sara L.

    Wow, I don’t get the vitriol here in the comments. I think it is kind of a funny spread, and agree that it is nice to see an actor not taking himself too seriously. I also don’t think the Esquire article is dripping with anything but obnoxious writing. Seriously, it’s like a first year english major vomited all over the page. Ick.

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm, if the editorial meant that older women are powerful and sexy and that all hot guys want to be with that type of women, they failed. 
    Creepy indeed. I can only imagine that they were trying to be funny (ha ha can you imagine banging old ladies! ha ha, so funny!), buts it’s not. 

  • Anonymous

    I think it’s especially creepy since he discusses how his mom now lives with him. That is a very sweet gesture, this pics are just nasty.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GQIN74TNNQROY5JFPOWWBGJWEM andy

      Exactly! I thought that WAS his mom for a minute there… Oedipus Blech.

  • Anonymous

    He’s so good and this is so bad!

  • Anonymous

    Embarrassing.

  • Beth G

    I understand the “concept” of the “artwork”… but it became rather inappropriate put in the context of the interview where he says his mother now lives with him, because I can now only see the much older woman as his mother.

  • siena Mystic

    The one with the shopping bags and the little fluffy dog is cute, but the others are just deeply strange. Not just a kept man, but a kept man with a…foot fetish? Or the ladies enjoy having him metaphorically under their heel? My first thought wasn’t “two cougars,” actually, but a mother and a daughter who have gone in on a purchase of a studly dude and share him throughout the day.

    He doesn’t do it for me anyway, so.

  • Anonymous

    definitely beyond a creepy editorial.  Eek.

  • http://profiles.google.com/ballinger.jl Jessica Ballinger

    I think the one with the coffee cup is adorable, but the rest is just bad.  I found myself leaning farther and farther away from the screen with every shot.  Skeevy.

  • Anonymous

    ewwwwww

  • Anonymous

    Let’s amp up the creepy with, he just said his mom now lives with him (which is sweet) so the editors thought won’t be fun to freature him with older (could be his mother) models!?!  NOW THAT IS CREEPY

  • Anonymous

    I like the one where he’s drinking water, even though that’s really odd for an editorial… Whatever. I’d bang him.

  • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

    Are they trying to imply that he’s sleeping with his mom? Because the interview in combination with these creepy as fuck pictures guaranteed my mind went there.

    • http://profiles.google.com/trashilove { edi } ilovetrash

      …..while he’s wearing his father’s wedding ring, cos 36 is the perfect age, particularly when yr father’s just died so you can {@ least vicariously, by proxy, subliminally, subconsciously, something}, ah, bang yr mother. yeah.

      edited to add:
      well, i guess it does get people talking about it…..

  • Anonymous

    LOL, there’s a foot on his head. Smoke crack after the photoshoot, Esquire folks.

  • Anonymous

    Ick. And the layout is weird, too.

  • vmcdanie

    Something about the story of his mother coming to live with him juxtaposed with pictures of him being pawed by woman in her delicates who could BE his mom is creeping me right the fuck out. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OWWS52CL6QGGPVYBVFJ2J5NAWQ Aaron Lucas

    he’s a tool.  the end

  • Lisa

    Nope, can’t mock someone who just lost their dad and is a good boy to his mother.  Nope, nuthin’ to see here, movin’ along… 

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    I think the editorial is hysterical. Yes, Cooper saying that his mom recently moved in with him gives the shoot an interesting, probably unintentional twist, but the photos are fun and unexpected.

  • Anonymous

    Wha…?

    And he looks like he has a hangover.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IQETHXRTJNJGREW3AJQT4FGGQQ Michelle

    It’s especially creepy given that in the article itself he says his mom now lives with him and here he is posing with older women. Weird.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

    I have kind of always thought he was gay, and for some reason, this editorial has done nothing to dispel that impression.  Maybe b/c he talks so lovingly about his mom, and the models are all mom-types…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1046681022 Paula Berman

    I always thought he was gay for some reason, and this interview and accompanying photos have done nothing to dispel that.  Perhaps because he is a 36 year old man happily living with his mom, in some of most inadvertently un-sexy photos for a supposed sex symbol. 

  • Anonymous

    This turned my stomach. Really. The FEET ON HIS FACE. 

  • Anonymous

    LOVE HIS HAIRY CHEST. I would date him. Pics are lousy. Burn your copy of esquire and let us move on.

  • http://twitter.com/pag_baj Paige Boerman

    I’ve never found him attractive, and I can’t shake the douchebag vibe, which I’m sure is because the first thing I saw him in was Wedding Crashers. Still, too bad about his dad. And this editorial is just AWFUL at every turn.

  • Anonymous

    Umm. Hmm. I don’t know what to say about most of them, but I like the one with the coffee cup for some reason. Probably because it’s the only one that’s not gross.

  • Anonymous

    awkwrd editorial…men magazines need an intervention,they know how to suck life out of handsome guys like Bradley.

  • Anonymous

    i actually like the idea of putting a successful, famous male star in a submissive role. which is basically the concept of this editorial.

    not so sure about the execution, though. some shots and poses seem to have been repeated with only minor variations for no reason, and hes giving terrible face on some shots.

  • http://profiles.google.com/thisiscelia Celia

    I kinda love how bizarrely awful this is. Geesus!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Catherine-Rhodes/602850414 Catherine Rhodes

    Let me take it from a slightly different point of view. The Bradley Cooper character in this photoshoot is too old to be a cub! No self-respecting cougar wants a dude pushing 40. The gigolo aspect is interesting, but not especially obvious. I think we must assume it’s an oedipal three-way. Creepy, and the photography is bad. He looks goofy in every picture.

  • Anonymous

    huh. the one chica looks like Ellen Barkin. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/buddhadecat Sasha DeCat

    I don’t like the pictures at all. And yes, even though I don’t think he is very good looking (beautiful eyes but in kind of a rat-like face), these pictures — including the cover, IMO — are horrid. He’s better looking than THAT. 

  • Anonymous

    The Esquire article was good, but the cougars are by far my favorite part.

  • http://twitter.com/margo8461 Marguerite

    Yuck.

  • http://twitter.com/margo8461 Marguerite

    Yuck.

  • frankystein123

    Wtf? Bad hair, uncomfortable stances, unflattering arm candies, yuck.