RuPaul’s Drag Race: NO BAREBACK!

Posted on April 05, 2011

Ru looks a little scary here. We were a bit disappointed by Miss Cho. We expected some funny, but the only decent lines were the “raised by drag queens” and “You are giving me Kardashian” ones. Sharon got a couple lines in, but not many. Sometimes we think the judging panel is a bit overstuffed. Also sometimes we wish Michelle would shut up.

And so a bunch of tired, bitchy, over-it queens were not at all happy to welcome a sister back into the fold.

Gratuitous meat. Salt seems to be getting in better shape with each week. Probably because Pepper started out the season with killer abs already and that’s just like waving a red flag to a Pit Crew member. Between the pot-smoking and oil-downs, he must be slipping in a little time for 8-minute Abs.

Surprise.

No one cares.

We don’t actually mind the return of a previously eliminated contestant, although PUH-LENTY of former reality contestants have told us how unfair they think such twists are, since it allows someone the advantage of not having to complete however many challenges they missed since they were eliminated. But from a viewer perspective, it shakes things up a bit. We’re not a bit surprised they chose her because the show defaults to pretty 9 times out of ten.

THIS, on the other hand, was a surprisingly hilarious idea. We think they should do this on Project Runway every now and then to shake things up. Or maybe pie fights.

How can you not love that?

Best challenge ever? It’s at least the best challenge that we originally thought was going to be painful. In fact, this episode was a lot of fun, probably the best of this season. With the returning queen, the hilarity of the dunkings, and the addition of hot and sweet eye-candy, as well as a little bit of bros-and-‘mos bonding and safe-sex cheerleading, this was a highly entertaining hour.

And those boys were adorable, weren’t they? Except for Alexis’ who could barely be restrained from touching himself the entire time.



What’s with the “W” faces? Is this some sort of drag code?

To be honest, it really wasn’t until the actual runway show that we had any faith this wasn’t going to be a series of cringe-worthy trainwrecks.

Because come on. Hot guys do NOT make pretty queens. Especially hot straight ones.

But really game, really cool straight guys do make fun queens if you give them the right tools and point them in the right direction, much to our pleasant surprise.


We thought they were fun and high energy for the cheer, but it wasn’t the best of the performances on that front. Their looks were cute and funny, especially since “Fuchsia Luzon” looks like She-Hulk.

SUCH a cute guy, though. He was a big reason for Manila’s win. Not that she doesn’t deserve her praise, but none of the guys were as game as he was and no team had the unlikely, but adorable rapport that the two of them had.




It was a combination of that rapport, which was evident on stage, their high energy, and these two looks that won it for them. We go back and forth on the win, because we honestly thought it was going to go another way, but the more we look at the teams rather than individual queens, the more we see that these two really had it all over the rest of them.

As we said, these looks helped. Manila looks amazing, which is no surprise because despite her protestations to the contrary, she really was born to work these dragon lady looks. And it’s to her eternal credit that she took the absolute whitest man in the vicinity and turned him into a believable sister for herself. They were just fun to watch and “Fuchsia’s” “That’s my GIRL!” in the Lounge when her win was announced just made us want to give him a bl hug.



To no one’s surprise at all, the energy just wasn’t there for this team. We think her guy was sweet and willing, but Carmen couldn’t really pull together a look for someone built so much differently than she is. This isn’t bad, to be fair. From the neck up, Carmen did all right by him. The costumes are cute, if not exactly eye-catching. Manila’s bras-and-bows version was a more fun interpretation than these.



Painful. Michelle, as much as she annoys us, nailed it when she said that Carmen only looks out for herself. She couldn’t even conceive of the idea of making her guy look as good. It simply wasn’t part of the equation. Carmen was going to go naked and therefore, her big beefy drag sister would as well.

Once again, she did a great job on the makeup. The problem was, she never seemed to look lower than the neck to see what she was dealing with. This is a dude that needs a dress, girl.

So Carmen is on the bottom along with new-to-the-bottom Raja (who deserved just as much to be there). We admit, we were a bit nervous for Raja because Carmen can give an alluring performance when she’s pushed to do it. They’re both weak performers but Carmen can really turn on the real-girl charm and the judges like that.

We should have known better, because when you put the prettiest realness queen on the chopping block and you put the fiercest supermodel queen right there with her, the result…

… is lesbian porn, apparently. God knows those straight boys had some mighty heavy thinking to do that night when they turned the lights outs.

We think the girl-on-girl stuff was a bit of a brilliant, quick-thinking move on Raja’s part because once Carmen went full frontal, all bets were off.

And that may have been the deciding factor here. Carmen was pushed and she wound up giving what she always gives, but Raja actually took it somewhere entertaining and strange.

At any rate, the girl got more than enough chances. Back to your husband in Jersey, honey. It seems it’s where you most want to be anyway.

[Photo Credit: logotv.com - Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]